Intuition
Some may call it a sixth sense. Others may refer to it as intuition. Still others may say they have a “gut feeling”.
Call it whatever you wish, but I’m pretty sure at some point in your life you’ve encountered a strong feeling of just knowing something and you weren’t sure where it came from.
For my mom, it actually saved her life. In 1996, she was in a serious car accident. As she was coming home from work, an ambulance crossed over the double yellow line into her lane and hit her car head on. The strange part is that she never used to wear her seatbelt, but that day for some unknown reason she decided to put it on. She has no idea what made her do it but she is very thankful for the inner voice that may have been guiding her that day.
I am sharing this because I want to try to explain the feeling that I got one Saturday afternoon while playing the card game “War” with my 10 year old son. Out of the blue, I just felt the urge to do a card trick with him. You know the one where you get the person to pick a card, any card, and then they put it back in the deck and you shuffle it up and are able to tell them what card they picked. Well, typically there is some sort of slight of hand method or phony deck of cards to help the “magician” figure out the card in question. This wasn’t the case for me. I just knew that I would be able to guess the card. I wasn’t sure how I knew it or why I felt so strongly that I wanted to try this out, because the feeling came out of nowhere.
So after we finished up our riveting game of “War” (*insert sarcastic tone*), I shuffled the deck of cards and fanned them out and told him to pick a card, but not to let me see it. I asked him to think about the card and picture it in his mind, but not to tell me what it was.
Immediately, I thought:
I had him put the card back in the deck and then shuffled them up. I then pulled out the seven of diamonds and asked him if that was the card he was holding and he started laughing. He exclaimed, “Yes, that was my card! How did you do that?”
I was just completely blown away! I have no idea how I did it. I just did it. Now before you say it was just a random coincidence, let me tell you what happened next.
My son wanted a chance to do the trick. I already had a gut feeling that he would be successful before we proceeded, but I was curious to know if this sneaky suspicion was accurate.
I chose the Jack of Diamonds and I just kept picturing the card in my head until my son said he knew what card I had picked. I placed the card back in the deck and shuffled them up. Then I let him go through the deck until he came to the card that he thought I had selected.
He picked the right card.
I just sat there in complete disbelief that this had happened again. He was just cracking up and asking, “How did we do that” over and over again.
I couldn’t give him an answer and I really still can’t. Was it just a couple of lucky guesses? (Yes, said my cynical husband.) Or was it something more? Telepathy maybe? I just don’t know.
All I knew was that I was more than a little bit curious about the whole thing. I felt very strongly that something or someone was guiding me to attempt this card trick for a purpose. I’m not exactly sure of the purpose, but if I had to guess I would say it was a gentle nudge that I should continue nurturing this ability. Now, I’m not talking about guessing cards. I’m talking about being in tune with spirit. I decided that this was just the push I needed to continue down the spiritual path that I had started on two years ago. Something about this experience made me feel a little less frightened and more comfortable with proceeding. I decided that I was no longer going to let fear hold me back and I was determined to pursue this a bit more and see where it would take me.
——–
I’d love to hear your experiences with intuition. I personally feel like we all have this ability but most of us choose to ignore it, are too busy to acknowledge it or possibly too afraid to pursue it. What do you think about intuition? Feel free to share any stories you may have in the comments.
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A Strange Spiral
My first meditation experience, and the subsequent research into what may have been happening, really threw me for a loop. I didn’t realize that quieting your mind in this way would bring about such dramatic results. Who knew?! The vibrations, the sinking into the bed, the strange visuals, the threat of demon possession….it was all just a bit overwhelming.
As I mentioned, it took me two years to get up enough nerve to try again. There were a couple of things that led me to getting up the courage to proceed. And the first was the Norway Spiral.
I ran across the above photo in December while looking for a way to procrastinate on my Christmas shopping.
Strange, right? If you are looking for an answer to what the heck this peculiar spiral is, don’t ask me. I still have no clue. All I know is that it appeared over Norway in December and there have been others in China and Australia since. Apparently, it may have been some sort of Russian missile testing or something, but when I first saw it scientists had absolutely no clue what it might be.
For whatever reason, this spiral completely fascinated me. It captivated my attention and made me want to research what it might be. There were speculations that it might be some sort of wormhole used by aliens for extra-dimensional travel. Trust me when I say that I am not into this sort of thing. For the record, I’ve never even seen Star Wars or Star Trek. Anyway, I decided to research a bit more and I found myself being immersed into all sorts of strange areas of fringe science. Now, I may not be much for science fiction but I LOVE a good conspiracy theory.
So what does all this have to do with my meditation story. Well, in the midst of all the conspiracy stuff, I happened across some interesting information about astral projection. I knew nothing about astral projection so I read on. From what I could understand, it seemed that I was very close to having some sort of astral projection or out of body experience without even really trying. This piqued my curiosity again, but there was still this whole element of fear that I still had to deal with before trying again.
I felt so uncertain about whether or not I should try again. I decided that if prayer was talking to God and meditation was listening, then I needed to do some talking first before delving back into my practice. I asked God for some sort of sign that I should give it another try. I asked for protection and guidance.
It didn’t take very long before my prayers were answered in the most peculiar way.
A Journey of a Thousand Miles Starts With One Step
I’ve been procrastinating writing this post because I’m just not sure where to begin. That is why I chose the above quote as a title. Sometimes you just have to start. So, here it goes…
I’ve always been a seeker of things of a supernatural nature.
As a child, I would play “haunted house” and interview my grandparents about any experiences they might have had with ghosts. As a teenager, I would spend hours on the phone with friends or sitting outside looking up at the stars trying to figure out the meaning of life. Why are we here? How did we get here? Where do we go after we leave here?
I was always drawn to the psychic books at the library. The ones with titles like “ESP for Dummies” or “The Idiots Guide to Ghosts” (not exactly those titles but you know what I mean). I would try seances with my best friend but we had no luck.
I’m not sure why I was so obsessed with this sort of thing. It was just so fascinating to me.
On my honeymoon, I read the book, “The Celestine Prophecy”. I shouldn’t say read it, because it was more like I devoured it. I could barely put it down (poor Brad). Over the years, some of my favorite books have been spiritual in nature. I love a book that makes you think about life’s big questions.
One of my favorites was Eat, Pray, Love. I think I liked this one because I’ve always been curious about meditation but never really understood it or tried it before reading this book. Honestly, it seemed so complicated to me. Do you have to sit in a strange position or chant weird things in order to be successful? I was always intimidated by this practice.
I decided to research it a bit more and found that really all you need to do to successfully meditate is get in a comfortable position with your back straight (I like laying down in my bed) and clear your mind of all thoughts. Now, I know for most people this is extremely difficult, but for whatever reason, I had no problem at all clearing my mind. I just focused on my breathing and in a few minutes (I think, because I wasn’t really timing it) I started to feel this strange buzzing all over my body. It was just a mild tingling feeling but then something really odd happened.
I started to see a face in my mind that almost looked like a skull. It wasn’t really a skull, but it was a face that wasn’t completely formed. Whatever the heck it was, it scared me!! I did what any good Catholic would do and I immediately started to pray.
Well, just about as soon as I said the word “God” in my mind the image disappeared and the vibrations that I was feeling intensified. I felt like I was sinking into the bed, and at the same time feeling completely alive and electric. It was absolutely AMAZING! I have never felt so full of bliss and peace before. As soon as I would start to think, “Wow, this is so cool!” the feeling would fade away. The vibrations continued to get stronger and stronger and then it seemed as though my soul wanted to actually leap from my body. It was at this point I started to feel a bit freaked out so I opened my eyes and just sat there completely astounded. I couldn’t believe what just happened.
So, has this ever happened to you? Am I the last person on earth to discover this craziness. At that point I wasn’t blogging, so I had no one to turn to but the almighty Google. As you can probably guess…that was a HUGE mistake. I stumbled onto some sort of Catholic message board and they warned of all sorts of evil things that can come from practicing meditation including demon possession.
Needless to say, I was a bit fearful after reading this. I’m a busy mom of two. I have no time for demons in my life.
That was two years ago.
I’ve continued to wonder about meditation and what happened that afternoon. I haven’t experienced anything quite like this since then. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever pick up the practice again.
But then I took this dreadful grad class this past semester and I guess I was looking for a way to procrastinate so I started reading more about meditation again. I decided to give it another go.
So for the past three months or so, I’ve been making the time (either before bed, in the morning or during the occasional afternoon that my kids are in school or at a friend’s house) to meditate.
And let me tell you…that experience that I had that afternoon two years ago was just the beginning.
GosWatch: Favorite New Pic
Yesterday, I got a message on Facebook from a new reader. She wrote:
Randomly happened upon your blog posts searching for pics of the lovely Ryan Gosling…I must say you have some of the best. (Although, it may be near impossible for him to take a bad one.) Anyway, wanted to say thanks for all the words. Makes me (a wife & mother) feel a bit less guilty for my mild obsession with this beautiful man.
This made me smile, but it also made me feel incredibly guilty. I haven’t been very good at sharing the love of Gos lately. I have been preoccupied with other endeavors (post coming soon, I promise…maybe later today).
Anyway, this is my new desktop background on my laptop. I just had to share because it is probably in my top ten favorite GosPics of all time . So Lisa, this one is for you and all my other GosObsessed friends:
Sigh…
Doesn’t he look gorgeous here…. so cool and sexy in his crisp, white shirt. And that look in his eyes is just so sensual. I’m melting and it isn’t from the heat!
Irony
Couldn’t resist posting this…
Long Time No Post
I’m ashamed to say that it has been two months since my last blog post. I’m not really sure what is causing this massive, unprecedented blogger block.
I mean I could easily blame my lack of blogging on all the assignments I had to do for my class and getting completely burned out on writing (Just to give you an idea, at one point I had written 26 pages in 4 days).
I could blame it on being fed up with pop culture and idiotic celebrities. I think the breaking point for me was after the Sandra Bullock/Jesse James scandal broke. I’m horrified that I actually dedicated an entire post about that JERK!
I could blame my lack of posting on my near death experience.
No, I didn’t really have a near death experience, but that would have sounded so much cooler and would be a way better excuse.
But seriously people, I really did think that I died and went to heaven after seeing the pictures of Ryan Gosling at the Cannes film festival.
(Note: This is my favorite one because you have to admit that he looks like an angel here–thus, why I thought I was having a near death experience.)
There are just so many reasons for my lapse in blogging, but really it all comes down to one simple fact that I’ve been trying to avoid admitting to myself for the past couple of months.
I think I may have outgrown this blog.
I started this blog because I love to write and I wanted a space of my own to chronicle the random and sometimes peculiar thoughts that came into my mind. I needed a place to worship Mr. Gosling before my friends had me committed or thrown in jail for being a crazy stalker. And what better place to feel normal than the internet.
I honestly wasn’t sure what direction the blog would take when I started it and I’m still not sure of the direction that I want it to take it right now. I just know that if I’m going to continue to write it has to be about something more significant.
So, that in a nutshell, is why I haven’t been blogging.
Ok, so now that all that nonsense is out of the way, I do have some interesting stories to share. I’m sure I will lose a ton of my readers after writing about these things and I’m seriously thinking about starting a brand new blog because it is that out there. I haven’t completely decided yet, but I’ll be back soon to share some of what has been going on with me.
Stay tuned….
GosWatch: Speechless
I don’t even know what to say about these latest photos of Ryan. I’m completely at a loss for words right now. My brain has turned to mush and I can barely breath. Someone really needs to invent a new adjective because hot or sexy just doesn’t seem to do this man justice. He has reached a level of gorgeous that is just beyond the English language. Am I right, ladies?
Thud.
GosWatch: Perfect Gentleman
I was having a pretty good day. The weather is great here. My kids have been in a pleasant mood. I got to sleep in until 9:30 am this morning. I am in between major projects for my class. I lost 4.6 lbs on my new diet. I’m just in an overall great mood!
Well, life just got even better!
The miserable Gos-drought that we’ve been in for the past few weeks has finally subsided with this AMAZING new sighting:
Top 3 Things I Love About This New Video:
1. I just love how he interacts with the paparazzi. You know that he is probably totally annoyed at being followed by them constantly but he still manages to be a gentleman and stop to chat with the guy and even asks him his name. I mean what celebrity does this? I LOVE IT!! And don’t you just love the way he looks at the guy and says “Oh..” when the guy tells him that he got some action after watching The Notebook. Ryan is like, “Why are you sharing your private business with me?” but still, he sits there and listens to this guy like the gentleman that he is.
2. His new haircut!! Although I was kind of hoping that he was going to grow it out again to look more like older Noah, this is a very sexy look (honestly though, what look isn’t?!!?).
3. Of course, my heart just melted when he talks about how to treat a woman. It really doesn’t get much better than this.
I’m really not sure what building a telescope has to do with anything but it totally cracked me up.
Am I missing anything? Were there any other little precious gems in this video that I may have forgotten to mention?
Hiatus
I should probably just rename this blog Monthly Mish Mash because that would better define the frequency of my posts lately. I thought it was prudent that I come out of my self-imposed blog hiatus to say that I’m still alive. There isn’t a big, earth-shattering explanation on why I haven’t been writing. There are many little factors, but nothing that would be worth listing here.
I mean, I think a clear indication that I’ve lost my bloggy mojo is the fact that I didn’t even post about the tragic death of my dear, sweet Corey. For crying out loud, he was the Ryan Gosling of my formative years!!! He was the celebrity crush that laid the foundation for all future celebrity crushes and made me the stalker that I am today. What is the world coming to that I don’t have time to write a proper eulogy?? I wanted to stay in bed for a few weeks to properly mourn his passing but sadly life must go on.
Can we at least just take a moment of silence and mentally kiss this Tiger Beat poster goodnight one last time like the good old days.
Rest in peace, Corey. In all seriousness, I really do hope that you are in a better place right now.
Moving on…Did I mention that the class I’m taking this semester is sucking the life out of me? By the time I get a chance to actually sit down and read blogs or write a blog post, I’m just drained. I feel like the words aren’t even there anymore. It is as if everything I had to say has been said. At least for now. I’m hoping that maybe I will get my voice back after this class is over. I truly enjoyed writing here and even more than that, I loved all the wonderful people that I met through having this blog.
I miss you all so much and I look forward to catching up again very soon!
Bonus Eye Candy: Angelic
Ryan was spotted sitting courtside (a la DiCaprio/ Nicholson) at a Laker’s game the other night. Is anyone else just as baffled by this turn of events as I am? In all the years I have been stalking him, this is the first time I’ve seen him go to any sporting event. This is very peculiar, but if there is one thing about Ryan that I’ve learned is that he will always keep us guessing.
I’m not at all complaining though because a sighting is always welcome. I just wish I was a photoshop guru. I would cut out Ryan from this photo and put him on a background of clouds and angels and harps because this man does not belong on earth with us mere humans. His hotness has reached levels of DIVINE proportions at this point.
Is it just me or is anyone else singing Alleluia in their minds right now?
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