Matt Damon’s Worst Nightmare
Remember a few weeks ago when Matt Damon voiced his concerns about Sarah Palin? He said her nomination for vice president was like “a really bad Disney movie.”
Well, someone took the bait and made this video. I think even Palin supporters will be able to see the humor in this. It is pretty funny, but it would have been so much better with Tina Fey in the Palin role.
Enjoy:
Thanks to Jen for passing this little gem along to me.
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Fine By 2009: Week 5
Once again I’m checking in without making any progress. I didn’t gain, but I didn’t lose. My clothes are still fitting on the tight side. I’m pretty much disgusted with how things are going.
If I’m being honest, I really haven’t been giving the challenge my complete attention and that isn’t fair. It isn’t fair to my other participants and it especially isn’t fair to me.
I deserve to be healthy. I deserve to be fit. I deserve to be looking fine by 2009.
I could tell you all about how I pulled out my back last week so I couldn’t exercise or how my husband tried to sabotage my efforts by bringing home creamy salsa and tortilla chips for Thursday’s premiere of The Office. The fact that I couldn’t keep my hands out of the opened bag of chocolate chips all week and that I ate two pieces of ice cream cake at my daughter’s birthday party is not what you came here to read.
You want motivation. You want inspiration. You want dedication. I feel like I’ve let you down because I know I’ve let myself down.
I think a big part of my problem is that I’m a procrastinator. January 1, 2009 seems like forever away. I guess in my subconscious I feel like I can slack off and at the very last month work really hard to catch up and meet my goals.
Obviously this is no way to create a healthy lifestyle. It isn’t about quick results, but about changing your habits every day and eventually seeing things change.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle
I’ve decided to make a short term goal with a short term reward.
So, for this week, my goal is workout 4 times and track my food at least 5 days.
My reward is going to be a 30 minute massage from my hubby. (He doesn’t know this yet, but I’m thinking if I ask nicely that he’ll be a good sport. Plus it will be part of my birthday extravaganza so he can’t say no, at least if he knows what is good for him.)
How about you? What are your mini-goals for this week? Do you have a mini-reward? How are you doing with the challenge? Leave me a comment or do your own post and link up.
Random Thoughts About Crafts, Debates and Parenting
It’s been raining here just about all weekend. Yesterday when my kids turned on their beloved Nickelodeon to watch yet another episode of Sponge Bob (because the odds are good that it will be on), they were faced with a screen showing this:
The basic idea was Nick suspended programming giving families the motivation to get up, go out, and get active.
A terrific idea, but wasted on a day that was pretty much a monsoon where we live.
Disney channel to the rescue!! 
Eventually they bored of being couch potatoes and begged me to do a craft with them. The craft in question was this:
Now, I’m not much of a fan of crafts but turning dogs into divas was enough to make me want to make me want to participate. The only thing better would have been diva cats, but I’ll settle.
Here is our finished Diva Puppies project:
My dog is the dalmation, my daughter’s is the yellow lab (I tried to tell her to use more of a tan color but she insisted on the canary yellow), and my son’s is the beagle. Of course I helped a lot with my son’s beagle since he spent most of the time whining and complaining that he hates crafts and isn’t good at art.
He worked on this project with us because I took his Playstation away from him all day for calling me “mean”.
Taking video games away seem like such a great idea at the time. I can’t even tell you the satisfaction that I got from saying to him, “Oh you think I’m mean. Guess what?! You just lost Playstation all day on Saturday. You thought I was mean before-now you’ll see how mean I can really be.” Of course I followed this up with a really evil laugh.
But when it rains all day and Nick has gone off the air, it is me who is punished because I’m stuck trying to think of things for him to do all day. Thus, the reason he participated in the Diva Puppies project and watched Ariel’s Beginning for the second time in 24 hours.
I really need to find something else to hold over his head.
Did you all watch the debates on Friday? Did it change your opinion on the candidates?
I’m still undecided. There were a couple of points that McCain made that really made sense and made me think he was the better candidate and then I’d listen to Obama speak on certain issues and want to stand up and shout Amen (Although I would never do that because I tend to just remain seated when watching tv).
My favorite part was when McCain talked about the soldier’s bracelet that he wears and Obama responded, “I have a bracelet too.” I don’t know why but that just totally cracked me up. Then all of the times Jim Lehrer would try to get them to look at each other. It reminded me of an elementary school debate at those times, which of course reminded me of the episode of the Brady Bunch where Greg and Marcia were both running for student council president.
Is anyone else sick of hearing the media and politicians say “Main Street vs Wall Street” in reference to the financial crisis? Being the Disney World freak that I am, whenever I hear this (which is about every 5 minutes) I can’t help but think of Main Street at the Magic Kingdom:
Lastly, I just want to say that I think teachers should never use text lingo when replying to emails sent to parents.
I know there are plenty of other things that I should worry about, but I have to just tell you about this email response from my daughter’s teacher.
Basically, we were emailing back and forth and the last email she sent was just one letter: K
As in, OK, but without the “O”.
At first I thought there was something wrong with the email and that the rest of the words got cut off. Then I remembered the “texting lingo” for OK is just K.
I know she is really busy with 24 first graders and doesn’t have a lot of time to construct long responses but give me a break. I don’t think typing the extra “O” would have taken that much longer and God forbid “Sounds good. Thanks!” would have just taken those extra 6 seconds and that is just unheard of in her 26 yr old mind.
I know I sound like a crotchety old lady complaining about such an unimportant detail. The bottom line is that as long as she is teaching my daughter proper English and grammar, I don’t really care how she emails me but I couldn’t help but feel just a tad bit annoyed by it.
On a similar note, I just read the funniest thing about how Roger Ebertreplied to a reader’s email full of internet shorthand. I probably would have just ignored it if I received something like this but I like the way Ebert responded:
Reader Question: Yo dude, u missed out on “Disaster Movie,” a hardcore laugh-ur-@zz-off movie! Y U not review this movie!? It was funny as #ell! Prolly the funniest movie of the summer! U never review these, wat up wit dat?
Ebert’s Response: Hey, bro, I wuz buzier than $#i+, @d they never shoed it b4 hand. I peeped in the IMDb and saw it zoomed to #1 as the low$ie$t flic of all time, wit @ lame-@zz UZer Rating of 1.3. U liked it? Wat up wit dat?
My response to Roger Ebert: LOL!! U R da man!
Before and After
There are a few things I’ve been meaning to show you and I thought Boomama’s Before and After carnival would be just the place to do it.
Over the summer, I wrote a post about unfinished projects. In it I mentioned that I tend to get a bit sidetracked and end up not completing much of anything I start. It is a disease, I tell you. I call it project ADD.
Believe it or not, against all odds, I was able to finish two of the three projects that I mentioned in that post.
Would you believe the only one still left undone is the bathroom?! No, I still haven’t found a shower curtain. Yes, I’m clinically insane. (In my defense, I had a folder with all the potential shower curtains saved on my computer but the darn thing up and crashed on me so I have to start all over again in my search.) You would think that it was THE HOLY FREAKIN GRAIL that I was looking for instead of a stupid shower curtain.
Alright, enough about that. One day, the bathroom will be done. One day you will never again see the word shower curtain on this blog. One day…
In the meantime, I did manage to get a few other projects completed.
You may remember the scathing letter I fired off to SureFit. If not, let me remind you of the way my furniture used to look.
First there was the very sad sofa:
And who could forget the most pathetic looking you’ve ever seen:
I finally convinced my husband that the time had come to say goodbye to these “beautiful” pieces and move on to something new. He fought me on it. He tried to justify how it was “perfectly good furniture” because you could still sit on it. It was “functional”, he tried to tell me.
I agree. The furniture functioned very well at ruining my mood every damn day!!
Luckily, I found a great deal and went ahead and bought a set. He was fine with it. I think he was just relieved not to have to go to anymore furniture stores. Here is the new furniture:
I know that light beige isn’t the most kid friendly color. I probably made a mistake with that, but as you can see I needed something that was going to hide my cat’s light hair since he has taken up permanent residence on it.
I know that there really wasn’t much work or thought behind this before and after. We simply walked into the store and picked it out and paid for it. The next shots are full of blood, sweat and tears.
We finally finished Backyard Landscape ‘08. We did it all ourselves. My husband would say that he did most, but I really did help with a lot of it.
We have a tiny yard with a giant tree. The tree is great for shade, but it is not helpful when trying to grow grass. We have tried everything from seed to sod and no matter what we do this is the way our yard has always looked:
We finally just decided to give up and go the route of no grass. After lots of planning and with some help from our local nursery (they told us what plants would work in our yard), this is the finished product:
I like to call it my Zen Garden. It is so peaceful back there. I just love it! (Of course when that massive tree drops all of its leaves, I’m sure I won’t be feeling as zen-like, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
I actually probably should have taken a video because it is not showing up as nice on the pictures. Plus the sound of the water adds to the effect. I especially love it at night because of the lights my husband put in. We’ve been enjoying sitting out together and chatting after we put the kids to sleep. We still want to add a few more plants and stepping stones/ garden statues, but overall we are so pleased with how it turned out.
To see more before and after projects, head on over to Boomama’s blog.
Friday Eye Candy: Misty’s Picks
This week’s picks are from Misty at Rainy Day in May. Misty sent me her list about a month or so ago and I’ve been looking forward to posting it ever since. She picked some winners. Take a look and then head on over to her blog to tell her thank you for having such GREAT taste in men.
James McAvoy
Gerard Butler
Colin Firth
Jude Law
Jared Leto (Note from Jen: He will always and forever be Jordan Catalano to me.)
Ewan MacGregor
Ralph Fiennes
Orlando Bloom
Stewart Townsend
Luke Wilson
For this week’s Aloha Friday, I would like you to think about your favorite celebrity men with accents. Misty has provided you with quite a few suggestions.
My question is:
If you could pick any cute celebrity with an accent to give you a tour of his/her home country, who would you pick? I guess this is not only about the guy/girl, but also the place you would like to visit.
Combining two of my favorite things: Cute guys and traveling! I’d like to do a theme of men with accents in the next couple of weeks so I need some help thinking of some more ideas. Let me know who you would like to be your tourguide.
I’m always taking suggestions. If you would like to see your list featured on an upcoming Friday Eye Candy blog, just email me at dailymishmash @ gmail dot com.
13 Things That Make Me Smile
I tuned into President Bush’s speech on the financial crisis last night. I have to give him credit for helping me to understand the whole thing a little better, but I kind of got the impression that this was something that I should have already been worried about. Well as much as I try, I can’t seem to will myself to be overly concerned. Am I being ignorant or naive? Are you worried about it? Should I be worried about it? Make me worry, damn it.
Ok, enough of that. With all the doom and gloom surrounding us, I thought I would make a list of the things that I’m happy about right now. I thought I’d share my list since it may be helpful to others to take their minds off the proverbial falling sky.
Disclaimer: My friends and family do make me happy, but since I don’t post many personal pictures, I thought I would share some universal things that we can all relate to and improve our moods.
1. This blogger met Ryan Gosling. While I wish it was me instead of her, I’m glad to read that he was super nice. I left this comment on her post:
Can I just tell you how happy I am for you (ok and a little jealous too). I think more than that I’m just really glad to hear that Ryan is a nice guy. It is hard to continue to have sexual fantasies about a jerk, so thanks for keeping the dream alive.
2. My friend just gave me New Moon (the second book in the Twilight saga). I just love knowing that it is in my possession and that in a few short days I will be reading it. There is a sense of calm that I can’t explain knowing that Edward Cullen is on my nightstand right now. For the last time, I do realize that he is a vampire. That doesn’t take away from his perfection.
3. I received an email with a bunch of funny pictures. While I usually hate forwards there were a couple that made me smile. First there was this one:
4. And then this one:
Can you just imagine driving down the street and seeing either of these things?
5. Have you heard the Gavin Rossdale song “Love Remains the Same”? I just love it! Apparently, this is not a new song but my awful local pop music radio station has just discovered it. Therefore, I’m just now discovering it since I’m a slave to what the djs decide I must listen to. I’m so not a musical hipster.
For some reason this song reminds me of Twilight and Edward Cullen. Not sure why.
6. It’s almost October. I love October. How can you not love October? The weather is perfect, the leaves are changing colors (well, at least it is here, not sure about where you live).
It is also my birthday month, and yes I do celebrate (or at least try to celebrate) the entire month. I call it the Month-long Birthday Extravaganza. It drives my husband crazy. Plus, all the fall decorations, mums, and pumpkins. I think October is God’s way of making the transition into winter bearable. Have I mentioned my absolute disdain for winter yet? Oh, don’t worry. I’m sure you will hear all about it in the upcoming months.
Ok, I’m getting off track from my positive post. The last reason October is so wonderful is that my neighborhood goes all out for Halloween. Now, normally I’m not a huge fan of my neighborhood, but Halloween makes up for it. These people are Halloween freaks, which is kind of fun. There are all sorts of decorations, smoke machines, and kids line the streets trick or treating. It is a HUGE deal here. (While your religious beliefs may not support this “evil” holiday, you must at least concur that any excuse for the consumption of chocolate is never a bad thing). October rocks!
7. Fall tv is BACK!! That means new episodes of 30 Rock!
8. And Grey’s Anatomy which means lots of McSteamy and McDreamy:
(Note to Shonda Rhimes–Please just let Meredith and Derek be happy for a few episodes before finding yet another way to destroy their love. If I have to watch one more mopey Meredith episode, I’m going to try to drown myself too.)
9. And the last (but definitely not least) show that I’m super excited about is THE OFFICE. It is BACK!!!!!! TONIGHT!!!! Alleluia! Oh how I’ve missed my Office.
10. Another thing that made me smile recently is this blog award from My Friend Amy.
While I love any award, I was especially excited to be getting this one from Amy. I love Amy and her blog, as I’ve mentioned before. Also, this award is super cute. It reminds me of my binder from middle/high school with the I love so and so, crossed out, so and so, crossed out, so and so. I was very fickle with my declarations of love.
11. Since I don’t want to seem greedy by keeping this award all to myself, I’d like to pass it on to a few blogs that I love and always brighten my mood. While there are many really great blogs that I could give this to, but I want to pick a few out of my blogroll that aren’t as well known.
The first is Three Boys One Mommy. She calls herself the Super Commenter and I have to say that she is right. They all crack me up. Her blog is a riot too. You should definitely check it out!
12. I’ve recently discovered Even the Nice Ones. Have you ever had the experience of clicking on a blog and just reading a few paragraphs it was like love at first site/sight. This is exactly what happened with this blog. The fact that she calls her husband “Not Matt Damon” is just icing on the cake.
13. Lastly, I have been reading Memarie Lane for awhile now. I have to say that I always take something from her posts (whether it is something funny or thought-provoking.) She is a fantastic writer! For example, if you want more reasons to smile about our impending doom, click here.
What has been making you smile lately? Did I manage to take your mind off the financial crisis for a little bit? Is your mind even on the crisis?
To see more Thursday 13 lists, go here.
Coming Out
Today’s theme song must be “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross:
I’m all for coming out of the closet. While it is really no one else’s business what a person’s sexual preference happens to be, I do admire the courage it takes to be openly gay, especially when you are in the limelight.
I’m happy for Clay Aiken. There was so much speculation that I think it became a bit distracting and took away from his music (not that I’m a huge fan or anything). I’m glad that he finally put the rumors to rest.
On the other hand, I can’t help but not be as happy for Lindsay Lohan and her decision come out today. It isn’t because she is a lesbian. I love lesbians. My first cousin is a lesbian. I love Ellen. I’m all for the lesbians.
I’m just mad at her for trying to steal Clay’s gay thunder. Today is his gay day. Why couldn’t she pick next week or next month to make her announcement?
Also, I’m confused. I thought she already came out about her relationship with Samantha Ronson a long time ago.
Why did this even make CNN news? Is CNN trying to distract me from the scary stories about failing banks and North Korea’s Nuclear program. If that was your plan, it worked.
WFMW: Inexpensive Kids’ Birthday Party Ideas
I know why parents have parties outside their home. I’ve had a few myself. You just can’t beat the convenience of making one phone call to the evil rat (ie Chuck E. Cheese) or Bouncy Gym from Hell place and have them take over everything. Trust me, I get it.
There is only one problem. Like many other things in life, convenience comes at a price. These types of shindigs tend to cost a small fortune. Since I’m not in the possession of any sized fortune, I have opted to have many of my kids’ parties at home. It may take a bit more effort and planning, but overall home parties can be just as fun.
One easy way to save some money is to bake your own cake. I was shocked at how much it would cost to purchase a sheetcake from the bakery. There was NO WAY that I was going to spend that much on something that would just be eaten up or thrown away.
There are so many ideas online and most don’t really need any special skills or supplies. I usually ask my kids what kind of cake they want and then hunt the internet for an easy variation.
Have I mentioned how obsessed my daughter is with pandas? I wasn’t surprised when she asked me for a panda cake. Specifically, she wanted a pink cake with a panda on top. I stepped up to the challenge and came up with this masterpiece.
(By masterpiece I mean pathetic attempt at cake decorating. Can you even tell those creatures are pandas?)
Even though I was disappointed with the way the cake turned out, the bottom line is that the cake was for 7 year old kids. Luckily, I have found that kids are pretty much forgiving and will be impressed with anything you do.
I made a controversial decision for this party. I decided to forego the handing out of goody bags. Shocking, I know. How on earth would the kids ever be able to go on living without all those quality crappy toys and nutritious teeth rotting treats?
Don’t worry-the girls didn’t leave empty handed. I had them each make their own party favor. I picked up $1 frames at the craft store and each girl got to paint them the color of their choice. After letting them dry a few minutes, we decorated them with sparkle foamy stickers. I then took a picture of everyone and printed it out on my home printer. Before the girls left, I inserted the picture in the frame. They were thrilled with this favor. The best part is that I’m sure they will treasure it for way longer than a junky plastic toy.
Here are the finished favors:
What are some of your best frugal party tips? How do you feel about goody bags? Do you bake your own cakes? Tell me your philosophy on kids’ parties.
To see more Works For Me Wednesday Tips, visit Rocks in My Dryer
The Old Boyfriend Manual
A couple of incidents have occurred recently that have made me realize that there is a real need for a guidebook (a set of rules, if you will) on proper old boyfriend etiquette.
While I’d love to be the author of such a book (of course appearing on Oprah as an expert in the field isn’t out of the question either), the simple fact of the matter is I’m not very good about following through on long-term projects. I’ll just take the easy way out and post a blog on the subject with a few of the ideas I already had rolling around in my head.
Note to my 3, possibly 4, male readers: Just replace ex-boyfriend with ex-girlfriend and the rules are completely applicable to you as well.
Rule #1: Don’t drunk dial old boyfriends. Ever.
You may be out drinking with friends and think it would be hilarious to call your ex-boyfriend. You may think it would be a good idea to tell him what a great kisser he was. What you may fail to comprehend in your drunken stupor is that his wife is sitting right next to him and will NEVER appreciate the “hilarity” of the situation.
How do I know this to be true? My husband was the recipient of a drunk dial about a month ago. Let me just tell you–I had a few choice words for the dialer that I made sure were said loud enough so that she could hear me on the other end. There has not been any other calls since.
Rule #2: Drunk-texting the old boyfriend is strictly off-limits.
I went out with a couple of girlfriends this past weekend. We ran into an old friend who happens to keep in touch with an ex-boyfriend of one of the girls. She asked him for his number so she could send him a friendly text message.
This is not the behavior of a sober person. A sober person realizes that there is nothing positive to come from this situation. An ex is an ex for a reason. I tried to stop her, but there was no point. She was a woman on a mission. A woman who obviously had WAY TOO MUCH WINE.
While it was funny, I just kept hoping and praying that there was no wife or girlfriend sitting on the couch next to him when he got the text. Luckily, and not surprisingly, he was alone.
Sidenote: This friend (drunk texter extraordinaire) told me that she thinks I have an unhealthy obsession with Ryan Gosling. Well, duh. The most ironic part of the story is that she doesn’t even know about this blog. I can’t even imagine what she’d say then.
Rule #3: Don’t stalk old boyfriends on facebook (Or as I like to call it oldboyfriendbook).
You may be dying to know what they look like now. You may be secretly hoping they are bald and fat or have ugly kids. Or you may really want to just say hi and find out what they’ve been up to since the two of you split.
You may even go out of your way to hunt them down, using tactics that would put the fbi to shame in order to find their current email address. Just please, whatever you do, delete your history off your browser. Seeing 5,478 searches for Fatty McBalderson’s email address in the search history is surely not going to make the current love of your life very happy. This may sound sneaky and dishonest, but it really is the cardinal rule of old boyfriend stalking.
Although this has never happened to me personally, I do have personal experience with being “caught”. Back in the ye old days before social networking, I sent my ex boyfriend a Christmas card. He was more of an old friend than a boyfriend so I just wanted to wish him well for the holidays. The only problem was that I forgot to add a stamp to the envelope so it got returned to sender. You know where this story is going. My husband found the card (which was totally innocent, by the way) and he was not at all pleased.
That was the last time I tried to network with my ex. I’m not going to tell you that I don’t think of him sometimes and wonder how he is doing. I hope he is doing well, still has plenty of hair and cute kids. If our paths happen to cross, then that is when we’ll do our catching up. Until then, I hope that my friends read this guidebook and take away all dialing, texting and stalking privileges from me.
Do you keep in touch with your old boyfriends? Does your significant other mind? Would you mind if you knew your spouse/boyfriend was trying to network with an ex? Have you ever broken one of my three rules? Confess your sins now.
Fine by 2009: Week 4
Last week I asked you all about tips for curbing your appetite. Despite the fact that you all left some really great tips, I still managed to eat like a bear getting ready for hibernation. I have no excuses (well, of course I have them, but I won’t bore you with them.).
In addition to my terrible eating, I only managed to exercise two days. Since starting this challenge, I haven’t been able to reach my goal of exercising at least 4 days a week. This week will be the week. I am determined.
My determination stems from a clip I saw on Oprah of Gwyneth Paltrow talking about the fact that she can’t diet, but looks the way she does by constant exercise. She says:
“I just can’t do it … I think maybe it’s the idea that you can’t have something… It’s worth it to me to do that extra exercise so I can eat what I want and not think about it.”
I’d say she is doing something right.
My other motivation comes from the lack of movement in the opposite direction on my scale. I can’t be too upset because I was really thinking that I was going to gain weight from all the eating and I didn’t.
Since most people don’t check back, I thought I’d highlight a few of the tips for curbing your appetite from last week’s comments:
Marie, who is not participating in the challenge because she is VERY pregnant, offered 3 great suggestions:
1. Accessibility. People eat what’s convenient, no matter what it is. So make sure you always have healthy food that’s convenient and accessible.
2. If you just snack on small protein bits throughout the day, you’re more likely to eat more reasonable meals.
3. Another thing I recommend to a certain degree is chewing gum. It does two things: keeps your mouth busy, and helps you feel energetic and purposeful.
Carol says:
“I find the more I drink the less I wanna eat.”
Now I’m assuming she means water or some other healthy beverage and not margaritas. Though I think margaritas would offer the same benefit but I doubt they would aid in any kind of weight loss.
I agree with Carol. There have been times since starting this program that I thought I felt hungry but when I really stopped and listened to my body, it wasn’t food I was craving, but water. The key is not ignoring your body like I seem to do.
Mrs. N suggested brushing your teeth after every meal since not much tastes great with toothpaste.
These are all wonderful suggestions and I plan to put them into action this week.
This week, I have 2 questions about motivation.
1. What gets/keeps you motivated to stick to your plan? Is it trying to fit into your old skinny jeans? Is it seeing a picture of a skinny celebrity? Is it just wanting to have more energy and be healthier for your family?
For me, it is all of the above, but at the same time, none of the above. Let me explain. As much as I want to lose weight and look great, I can’t seem to resist the temptation of pizza, ice cream and the lure of just being lazy rather than doing a workout video.
I was thinking it might be a good idea to set some type of reward system for myself to help motivate myself to exercise consistently. The prize can’t be too expensive and I’m thinking that making it food related sort of defeats the purpose (dinner and dessert at the Cheesecake Factory was my initial thought).
I was thinking of setting the goal at 20 days with exercise (not necessarily in a row, just total). The faster I complete the 20 days the quicker I will be able to get my reward. Obviously, toning up and feeling more energetic is the ultimate reward, but for whatever reason that just doesn’t seem to be enough to motivate me. I’m thinking I need to bring in the big guns.
2. Do you have a mini-goal (days exercise, pounds lost, etc..)? What are some ideas for rewards that don’t cost a ton of money (ie-NOT a trip to Hawaii), but will be enough to motivate you to stick with your plan?
How did you do this week? Don’t forget to check in with a post or in the comments.
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