An Open Letter to Mr. Doritos
Dear Mr. Doritos or The Person In Charge of Flavor Decision-Making at the Frito Lay Corporation,
I just want to take a moment to let you know how much my husband and I have always enjoyed your chips. Over the years, we have consumed way too much of your snacky goodness and have the chub to prove it. I’m especially liking the tangy-flavor-from-heaven that is your Spicy Sweet Chili chip.
I do have one issue that I need to address with you. I would like you to PLEASE STOP making these “mystery flavored” bags. I was willing to let the X13-D slide because they were pretty darn tasty. Who wouldn’t want a chip that tastes like a cheeseburger? This was almost like a little meal in a single bite, kind of what I imagine Wonka’s Ever-Lasting Gobstopper to be like.
However, I am outraged that you tricked my snack-obsessed husband into buying your Quest Doritos. This man will pretty much eat any chip you throw at him, but even he draws the line with these dreadfully horrible bites from Hell.
I mean who in their right mind thought that a chip that tastes like a combination of Pledge dusting spray and Lemon Bars would be a winning flavor?!?! It was just plain confusing. Am I eating a chip or a dessert or a cleaning product? I just don’t know what to make of them.
I’m really disappointed in you, Doritos. I love you, but if you keep trying to trick us with these “Mystery Flavors”, we are going to have to part company.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Daily Mish Mash
P.S. If you want to make up, please come up with a chip that does not have any calories or grams of fat.
P.P.S. Bring back the Cheeseburger chips. They were AWESOME!
P.P.P.S. If you would like to make up some more, send me some free chips. Thanks. 
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10 Responses to “An Open Letter to Mr. Doritos”
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Ugh! SO glad I didn’t buy those!
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That would bug me – not knowing . . .
And really? Cheeseburger chips? Okay, make that fat-free, 0 calories cheeseburger chips and I’m all over it!
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This was SUCH a funny post! We are in the middle of our first bag of the Spicy Sweet Chili chips and dang, they are zingers! I agree that anything labeled “mystery” should be left a mystery. On the shelf. My kids know better than to eat anything we call mystery food. It’s right up there with hot dog ingredients.
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Oh, you just hit upon one of my all-time favorite snacks…….Doritos and a coke.
I would kill for some right now!!!!!! Yum!
I had no idea they even made mystery chips though…..you are much braver than I would be! I would act all brave….and start reaching for them…….and then totally wimp out and grab good ol’ reliable Cool Ranch.
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Yeah, I would totally wimp out before buying mystery chips also. And I guess that’s a good thing, they sound revolting!
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Spicy Sweet Chili???!!! Where have I been?! I’m obviously soooo not hip when it comes to chips. I love Doritos but I’m not brave enough for a mystery flavor bag either. However, I will be heading out tomorrow to find me some of them Spicy Sweet Chili ones. That just sounds heavenly…and like McMommy, I’ll take mine with a coke too. Aahhh! Now there’s a naptime treat to calm me down after a rough morning. =0)
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Spicy Sweet Chili?!? Where have I been?!
Oh, wait, Runningamuck said that. But seriously, where HAVE I been?
We love Doritos — my daughter calls them “Lightning Chips” because the little zig zag graphic on the bag reminds her of Lightning McQueen (from the movie Cars).
And Mystery Chips? Never seen those either. Apparently, I live under a rock.
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Saw those too…glad I didn’t pick them up.
P.m.S. I wasn’t too impressed with the cheeseburger chips-too much mustard.
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Just me….stopping by on a sunday to say…HAPPY POW! Ok, you can go back to your Doritos now…
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I’d pay Frito-Lay $10 a bag if they’d bring back the ORIGINAL 1970’s era “Taco” flavor Doritos. Not the “Zesty Taco” they have now in the Flavor Collision bag but the REAL DEAL they stated with. There are petitions all over the net asking for people to sign and convince F-L to bring them back. They can keep all their “mystery” flavors in the lab, I already know what I like and what I want. I think we need a boycott rather than a petition. Stop buying F-L snacks until original Taco flavor is reinstated!!!
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