Comments on: Choosing Favorites

By: threeboys1mommy

threeboys1mommy — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 20:58:49 +0000

I don’t thinks it’s something to feel bad about, Jen ( I think I made that clear in my post). My husband tries to make me feel bad my saying I love him more, and that’s not it at all.

Although it’s funny that your daughter is your “favorite” because she’s different from you. My son earns his title for being exactly like me in every way imaginable. “I shall call him mini me!”

By: Emily

Emily — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 15:33:45 +0000

I got nuttin’ for you on this. I only have one child.

But, I will say this…that is one of my fears of having another child.

My grandmother gives the same “pat” answer of saying no, she doesn’t love one of her 4 kids more than the other, but she clearly favors 2 of them over the others. However, if you say this to her, she gets all pissy and denies, denies, denies.

So, I can’t help. My OPINION on this is that I think it’s ok to feel the way you do.

By: Sus

Sus — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 12:07:32 +0000

My husband keeps telling me my daughter (almost 3) is just like me. Click on over and check out what a tough relationship she and I have… sometimes I feel guilty about posting so much frustration about her and comparatively few happy little moments. My son, on the other hand (1), is high maintenance but cuddly and laid back and more comfortable socially. I bought but haven’t read yet a book about deciphering who your kids are and how they need to be loved – I think it will help me love Frannie wherever she is… not that I don’t love her, but you know what I mean. I didn’t know when I started this parenting thing how hard it would be just to let them be whomever they are; it’s my daily trial, to look past our differences (similarities??) and just see their little souls glowing and be amazed.

Sorry, this comment is a little insuccinct. I’m rocking out to John Mayer and can’t concentrate.

By: McMommy

McMommy — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 23:38:14 +0000

Thank you for being honest!! I see alot of similarities between us. My oldest and I butt heads alot….and I realize it is because he is just.like.me. We both always think we are right, that there is only one way to do things, etc. Today he told me “I’m right, you’re wrong, and that’s ENOUGH OF THAT!”

It was like looking into a mirror.

By: MSM

MSM — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 17:43:49 +0000

Love your honesty and insight! And the funny thing about this post is, I was already wondering how I could love another grandbaby as much as the first. . .

But it does come down to personality and how you ‘get along’ with each child – not really who you love more.

By: World's Greatest Mommy

World's Greatest Mommy — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 01:56:07 +0000

I think you just need to remember what you said initially…when you love someone, you love them with your whole heart. And you love both your children.

One might be your favorite to go bowling with, or to make doll clothes with…but that doesn’t mean you have a favorite.

We don’t give exactly the same things in exactly the same measurements to each of our children. Instead we give them a homegrown mix that fits exactly what they need and want.

By: Jean

Jean — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 01:04:54 +0000

You are totally not crazy on this. The 4 year old is my most difficult child by far, doesn’t mean I like him less just means hes got his dad’s attitude. My older two are laid back and for the most part have been need to pleasers which makes discipline less stressful.

By: Jackie W transplanted Okie (Buried in Legos)

Jackie W transplanted Okie (Buried in Legos) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 00:11:40 +0000

Ds1 came out talking & I LOVE quiet. He’s 22 now so I guess he survived.

By: Memarie Lane

Memarie Lane — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:33:49 +0000

Sounds exactly like my son and daughter. So I snuggle with her more and yell at him a lot. But when I’m lying in bed at night he’s the one I think most about, and worry the most about. If the opportunity comes to have one-on-one time I will almost always choose him because he absolutely thrives on it and seems to benefit from it the most. That could just be age related though.

By: Shannon

Shannon — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:48:51 +0000

I agree that you love your kids all for different reasons. Ultimately you love them b/c they are YOURS, but deeper than that you love them for the unique little people they are. You will find bonds with each child throughout different times in your (and their) life. My “spirited” four year old used to be so hard to deal with but lately I find myself more drawn to spending alone time with him, over my two year old, b/c the two year old is just in that terrible two phase. I can’t talk to him and make any sense but I can “do” stuff and chat with my four year old. So currently my “favourite” is the oldest. But that was different a year ago, the “favourite” was the younger (now middle) son. And my new baby girl is the happiest, easiest, coolest kid ever. I don’t know what I would do without her, I don’t know if I could have coped with three small kids this long winter if she wasn’t happy and perfect all the time, KWIM? I know in some ways she will be my “favourite” at times just b/c she is so laid back, and b/c she is a girl and therefore will share certain gender bonds with me.

So don’t worry at all, your thoughts are totally normal. If people say they never have a favourite among their children, they are likely just lying .