Lessons From My Vacation Without Kids

For the third summer in a row, we took a vacation without our kids.  Some people may think it is bad parenting to drop off the kids with grandmom and hit the road for a weekend at the beach with friends, but it is on these trips that valuable life lessons are learned. 

Here are just a few examples:

1.  There is something really freaky going on with our world.  Signs are pointing toward the apocalypse.   There were thousands of grasshoppers all over the beach on Friday.  Grasshoppers on the beach????  I visit Ocean City every summer, multiple times a summer, and I have never seen anything like this in my entire life.  They were on the beach, in the water, in my bag, EVERYWHERE!!! 

What is even more weird is that one day they were there and the next day they were gone.  Vanished!   There were no signs of them anywhere.  Of course, I didn’t have my camera the day they were there, so you can just imagine what an invasion of beach grasshoppers would look like.  It was a weird, but fascinating sight to see.

2.  Speaking of bugs, when you see a cockroach at a restaurant, it really pays to inform the manager.  She was horrified and gave us the entire meal for free.  This saved us $150!

3.  When you save $150 because of a cockroach, you will find it is then acceptable to pay $7 for one shot at a bar.

4. When you get the bill for $28 dollars for a round of four shots, you will use the f-word even when you hardly ever use the f-word.

5.  Dancing under confetti is much more fun than dancing under no confetti.

6.  When someone says they are immune to alcohol that is the sign that you should immediately take away their drinking privileges.  This is ALWAYS foreshadowing of really bad things to come.

7.  Chalkboards on the back of bathroom stalls in a night club just invite naughty things to be written on them. 

 Me + Chalk + Lemon Drop Shots = Sentences That Should Never Be Written in Public

(About Ryan Gosling)

8.  Getting hit on by a 22 year old guy will make make a 34 year old married mom of three kids feel like she just won the lottery.  This made my friend’s night week month.

I also learned that I really shouldn’t have scheduled the Movie Madness Carnival for the day after returning from vacation (especially a vacation without kids that included way too much alcohol).  What in the world was I thinking???!!!  I am going to have to postpone until next Tuesday, August 12th.   

I’ll post the winners to my bloggy giveaways tomorrow.  Now I need to deal with laundry and have a stern talk with the ants that have invaded my kitchen while we were away. 

August 4, 2008 | Filed Under I Like Lists 

Comments

23 Responses to “Lessons From My Vacation Without Kids”

  1. carol on August 5th, 2008 1:52 am

    A vacation without kids?

    A 3rd vacation without kids?

    I could not be more envious.

  2. Emily on August 5th, 2008 7:27 am

    That sounds like an AWESOME vacation!!!! I want to go to Disney w/out my kid (gasp….I know…bad mommy) but I’ll never get to do that.

  3. nonsoccermom on August 5th, 2008 8:14 am

    Vacation without kids = MANDATORY. As far as I’m concerned, anyway. My hubby and I just got back from ours too! Sounds like you had a great time!

  4. Memarie Lane on August 5th, 2008 9:22 am

    I’m glad you’re rescheduling MMM because I had a post drafted for it but upon re-read it sounds retarded.

  5. Heather on August 5th, 2008 9:45 am

    Great blog! Very funny and down to earth. Thanks for keeping me entertained!

  6. misty on August 5th, 2008 10:49 am

    well, it definatly sounds like you’ve had fun!

  7. Insta-mom on August 5th, 2008 12:21 pm

    The occassional vacation without kids is good parenting.

    And I’m impressed that you stuck to sentences. As far as I’m concerned, any blackboard in a bathroom is just begging for some comical illustrations, too.

  8. Blake on August 5th, 2008 1:54 pm

    A. I think you’re actually obligated to go on vacation without children once you’ve had them. It’s your reward (a much smaller one than actually deserved) for sticking with them the other 362 days of the year.

    And B. The other weekend I spent 23 dollars on one 20oz bottle of water and one Long Island Iced Tea at Caesar’s Palace in Vegas. I used several F-words in combinations I’ve never even used before.

    Beverages have totally made us their bitches.

  9. Mamasphere on August 5th, 2008 3:33 pm

    I would’ve spent the whole $150 on shots.

  10. Tonya on August 5th, 2008 9:11 pm

    I LOVED this blog. Made me laugh and laugh (because even if ‘you had to be there’, I was). Hope that wasn’t our last vacation without kids because of my wild streak!

  11. McMommy on August 5th, 2008 10:30 pm

    Would it be weird if I invited myself on your vacation next summer?
    I’m really fun.
    I swear.

  12. Dana on August 6th, 2008 12:15 am

    Sounds like a great vacation! I just posted a drinking related public service announcement.
    I think I’ll use it next week for Make a Difference Monday….

  13. Chickie Mamma on August 6th, 2008 1:43 am

    What an exciting vacation… I was just thinking to myself today, “Self, maybe every OTHER year you should go on vacation withOUT the kids!”

  14. Kari on August 6th, 2008 8:11 am

    Sounds like a very fun trip! I’m sure the kiddos had just as much fun with their grandparents, so it’s a win-win situation.

  15. Mary on August 6th, 2008 9:38 am

    So what did you write on that blackboard?

  16. Jane-Holly [baby steps] on August 6th, 2008 10:43 am

    Awesome - I think it is great that you are able to take a vacation without the kids. Nothing like being able to cut loose without worrying about the childrens! Too bad there was no camera to record the beaches being stormed by grasshoppers though. Your story reminded me of The Little House on the Prarie… I think they were invaded by scores of the green hoppers as well.

  17. Georgie on August 6th, 2008 2:06 pm

    mr gp and I take a yearly weekend away trip and it has been one of the BEST joint decisions we ever made!

    Sounds like you had a GREAT time
    I LOVE lemon drops

    yeah….what did you write on the chaulk board exactly?

  18. Jen on August 6th, 2008 2:09 pm

    To those who have been asking about what was written on the chalkboard…I’m a good girl. I don’t write and tell. ;)

  19. Auds at Barking Mad on August 6th, 2008 7:33 pm

    Oh how I’ve missed you whilst I’ve been gone! I had to stop by and get me some Gosling goodness before stepping back into the land of the blogosphere, seeing as how the Zoloft seems to be doin jack for me! And lo and behold, what do I see? An invasion of asshoppers at the beach! STOP!!!!!!!

    Well, I really have no room to speak, seeing as how spiders, and even PICTURES of said spiders have invaded my blog of late.

    But seriously, grasshoppers at the beach? That’s strange. Deffo apolco…however you spell it, time!

  20. Smellyann on August 6th, 2008 11:38 pm

    It sounds like a really fun time! You know me, I’m down for a vaca without kids! Next time do some lemon drops for me!

  21. Tammy on August 7th, 2008 1:53 pm

    sounds like a lot of fun! The grasshoppers very strange!

  22. Jenny on August 8th, 2008 1:47 pm

    i know of that place you call ocean city…used to go there all the time when I was little. sounds like a great trip though w/o the kiddos. lemon drops…yummy!

  23. Diane on August 8th, 2008 8:17 pm

    What I would give for a vacation without the kids! Sounds like you had a kid-free blast.

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