Make Me Laugh Monday: Diary or a Dog and Cat
This has to be my absolute favorite email forward of all time. I guess it is because I’m a cat lover, but this just cracked me up. It’s not that I don’t like dogs, but any pet that needs to wake me up to go to the bathroom is never living in my house.
Leave me a comment and let me know which four legged friend you prefer.
Enjoy!
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COMPARISON OF DOG AND CAT DIARIES
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG’S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm – ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DIARY
DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 – Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; I must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair…must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 – Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was…Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 – I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 – There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I as placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call “beer.” More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 – I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured.
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time..
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Find more funny stuff at Make Me Laugh Monday hosted by Absolutely Bananas.
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I’ve seen that before but it never fails to crack me up.
As for what fur baby we prefer…well, the hubby is a cat person and truth be told, so am I. However, in January we took the leap (after being on the waiting list for a rescue Newfie FOREVER) and got a Goldendoodle puppy. I dont know WHAT we were thinking!
He is now almost 6 months old and SORTA growing on me. The fact that he’s so darned cute is probably his saving grace right now. I have discovered since bringing him home that I do not like puppies and want him to be a grown up dog already!
Our cats on the other hand can be pretty annoying as well. But at least they don’t jump all over me and use me as a chew toy.
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[...] Lauren wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt1:30 pm – ooooooo. bath. bummer. 4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DIARY. DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre … [...]
Funny!
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So true LOL!
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I laugh every time I see this! LOL.
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You made me laugh!
Let me re-pay the favor. Go here to see an old guy surfing.
For your daily dose of vintage goodness & a bit of silliness, stop by Confessions of an Apron Queen, the home of Vintage Thingies Thursdays.
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I have never read this before, but I’m SO glad I stopped by to. It’s hilarious! Can’t wait to share it with my family. We’re split down the middle. Half cat (smarter) Half dog (smart) Can you tell which group I’m in?
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