Sympathy For The Devil
A few days ago I wrote about how many of my friends’ husbands were angry with me for introducing their wives to Twilight.
I have to admit that my husband is not one of them. In fact, I think he would like to join the Stephenie Meyers Fan Club.
Although he hasn’t actually read one word of the saga, he is very supportive of my addiction. Just the other night he ran all over town looking for the Entertainment Weekly magazine featuring the cast of the movie. He couldn’t find it but came home with this magazine:
Now, before you say “awww” and start thinking he is so romantic, I must stop you.
While it was very sweet, I truly believe that he has purely selfish reasons for being so supportive.
I think he enjoys the “effects” these books have on me and the “fringe benefits” that have come from reading me them. I’ve heard them referred to as “girly porn” and I think that might be a good comparison.
I’ve been thinking about this for the past couple of days and I think it all comes down to how different men are from women.
Women are very complex creatures.
And the more I think about it, the more sorry I feel for guys. It isn’t easy to figure out the female control panel.
Men are simple. It doesn’t take much to turn them on.
Oh you don’t believe me. Then how do you explain these:
Girls Gone Wild
Featuring…
Sleazy Girls: Willing to take their tops off in various locations while jumping up and down and yelling “Wooo” for a random stranger holding a video camera.
Don’t get me wrong. I still think these videos are the WORST! However, I have to say that I feel a bit lucky that we have it so easy.
The only talent these girls seem to have is taking off their clothes. That’s it.
If that is all there is to it, then why isn’t there a “Guys Gone Wild” featuring men in trench coats flashing women? Well, for one, that sounds very distubing. Also that isn’t really what a woman is looking for in a guy?
So what is it that women want from a man? I look to my favorite (and soon to be favorite) chick flicks for the answer.
Exhibit A: The Notebook
Featuring…
Noah Calhoun: Boy from the wrong side of the tracks; great dancer; likes to read poetry, row boats, write love letters and kiss in the rain. Did I happen to mention that he can build houses with his bare hands?
Exhibit B: Titanic
Featuring:
Jack Dawson: Boy from the wrong side of the tracks; talents include rescuing girls from falling off the back of a ship, finding perfect spot for a first kiss, and looking great in a tux; Also willing to freeze to death so that girl can have the entire raft all to herself. Did I mention that he has the ability to draw life-like sketches that are able to survive at the bottom of the ocean for over 80 years?
Exhibit C: Twilight
Featuring…
Edward Cullen: Boy from the wrong side of the tracks who also happens to be a gorgeous, chivalrous, vampire; has waited his entire existence for one girl; dedicates the rest of said existence to keeping her safe, practices self-sacrificing restraint daily. Did I mention that he has the ability to stop vans with his bare hands.
I could give more examples, but you get the point. How are the guys supposed to live up to these crazy, romantic standards? Do we really want them to be from the wrong side of the tracks? Do we really want to be rescued all the time? Our standards are impossibly high.
At least, their qualifications for a leading woman are basic: Must have boobs and be able to show them.
And even though my boobs may not be as big or perky as those sleazy, “wild” girls, I don’t think it really matters much to my husband.
So, this weekend, after seeing Twilight, don’t forget to cut your guys some slack. I’m not saying to go out and buy a Girls Gone Wild video or flash him at the movie theater*-oh my gosh, NO!! Just remember to be thankful to them for having such low standards.
*Flashing them at home is completely optional.
This actually brings up a really good question that I’ve been meaning to ask my readers:
What are your thoughts on videos like Girls Gone Wild? Would you mind if your husband/boyfriend went to a strip club without you? How do you feel about your guy watching p0rn?
I’m really interested to hear your thoughts on this topic.
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19 Responses to “Sympathy For The Devil”
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This post cracked me up, and I’m sure your husband isn’t the only one enjoying the fringe benefits of his partner’s reading habits. I really didn’t enjoy the Twilight books, and one of the primary reasons is that they do perpetuate unrealistic ideas of what love, romance, and relationships are and how they function. It sets women up to have expectations that can never be met, gives them “crazy romantic standards,” as you say, and while it’s perfectly acceptable entertainment for adult women, I don’t think it’s good for teenage girls to read these and get the idea that this is what life is or should be like.
Re: your discussion question, I think Girls Gone Wild is ridiculous and repetitive. I’ve never seen a video, but I’d imagine that once you’ve seen fifty girls flash their boobs, it becomes significantly less exciting. Doesn’t bother me if my husband watches porn (so long as he doesn’t hide it from me, lie about it, or choose it over me), but I don’t think I’d want him going to a strip club without me.
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I can totally see where you’re coming from on the impossible standards. I don’t think we truly want a man from the “wrong side of the tracks”..because we women unfortunately believe we can still “change” a man into what we want, when I think more times than not it ends up being us (the women) that change more than our “bad boys”.
Now onto your questions…
What are your thoughts on videos like Girls Gone Wild?
I think they’re ridiculous, but its that’s your thing then who am I to judge you.
Would you mind if your husband/boyfriend went to a strip club without you?
My husband has been to a strip club a time or two, but has admitted that its just not his thing. He sees the whole thing as a tease…he doesn’t want to go to the bakery and just LOOK at the yummy cupcakes, he wants to taken them HOME! And in a strip club you can’t even touch the lil’ “tarts”. hehe
How do you feel about your guy watching p0rn?
I cannot judge my man for watching these, as more times than not when these are being watched its by both of us. He knows I’ve been known to view away from him and he doesn’t fault me, so I offer him the same courtesy.
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My fave movies, the Notebook, and Titanic and I am sure Twilight will be added to that list.
As for the videos, porn, strip club thing. I don’t see the point. They dont’ need to be there, for obvious reasons. Period.
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This is so true – my husband loves it when I read Janet Evanovich novels for exactly that reason.
My husband went to a strip club with a friend of ours for their bachelor party and actually told me about it so I didn’t really mind – I’m glad I didn’t know before he went because then I would have minded, but he had such a bad time that it was almost sweet (yes I’m delusional enough to believe that, but if you knew my husband and you heard the whole story I think you’d believe him, too. Apparently the women who work at strip clubs around here are not exactly Grade A Quality). But if he were seeking it out personally, I don’t think I’d be so forgiving.
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Girls Gone WIld make me happy… happy that I have 3 boys!
*edit?? “fringe benefits” that have come from reading me them- to
that have come from me reading them… unless he reads to you, in which case he may be a woman button master
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I think the GGW videos are totally disgusting. I would be terrible upset if my husband went to a strip club or even watched one of these movies without me. And I don’t ever want to do these things, so that’s the end of that.
I think it bothers me because I am self conscious and I would be jealous that these other women are what he wants to look at. My thinking is obviously I don’t do it for him so he must go elsewhere.
Thank goodness my husband does not watch these movies, or go to strip clubs.
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i went to an all-nude strip club with brad once and it was no big deal. i could care less if he goes, as long as he’s got enough money.
i honestly don’t think it’s too much to ask for a bit of the fairy tale. when you think about it, it’s actually pretty durn easy to make us woozy, we just don’t rely on our eyes as much as men do. it’s why we read so much into every word they say. we actually are very easy to please, men are just good at making us feel complicated.
heck, if brad would just shower more often i’d be in a swoon.
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I agree with your logic totally..hubs is very supportive on the Twilight books.
It really does take a lot to get my motor running and hubs is willing to comply, even enough to take me to see the movie.
I believe that with our complexity, that we shouldn’t really snub our noses to their simplicity. I couldn’t imagine taking away what I feel gets me going, just because others don’t like it. It should be the same for the guys.
I am not a fan of Girls Gone Wild and hubs has never really been a boob man (lucky me) but I will support whatever works for him, if he supports what works for me.
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I can’t wait until Friday because I’m hoping my hubby will see why I think Edward is so great. I think he will say, “WOW, Edward is really amazing and see the draw!” Do you think I’m delirious?
As for girls gone wild? I don’t like them because they have stuff that I don’t. Of course, I have stuff they don’t, but they don’t want my stuff.
Porn….I’m gonna go with Rebecca and say as long as he’s not lying, trying to hide it or chooses it over me, I don’t really care. Strip clubs….it’s not my thing and I hope he always decides that it’s not his thing either.
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And you forgot…Did your husband go to the strip club because he’s from the wrong side of the tracks.
Girls Gone Wild makes me sad…for all the advances we have made as females in this society, it all disappears when we take off our shirts or drink tequila.
Strip clubs are really not for married men.
Porn, unless it’s deviant, is really personal.
Cute post.
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Wow, this post is so dead on true!! Twighlight is totally porn for girls! My palms get sweaty thinking about Edward. I am going to make my husband read this post…P.S. he always gets a kick out of your blog!
Anyways for your question…ugh I hate man porn. I have no problems with watching it together. I have no patience for him secretly watching porn. If it is out in the open ok I can handle that but no secrets!!! He knows his life and marriage depend on that fact. muawhhahaaa
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You are right, Twilight is totally girlie porn, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. NOTHING.
As far as the GGW videos, they’re a little ridiculous and I’d like to *think* my husband was more mature than that – maybe in college? I dunno. And strip clubs are so disgusting anyway, I’ve been with him before (a bunch of us went) and really, they are not anything to be worried about, unless of course your husband is spending all his time in one. I mean, like if they’re on a “guys trip” or Vegas or something like that, a bachelor party, etc. But a regular visitor? I’d think I would probably have an issue with him spending his time that way, but I truly don’t think he’d want to…
Sorry for the ramble.
MODERATION is probably a better answer to everything!!!
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I really don’t care if hubs watches videos like that…. BUT I always say, “What if that was your daughter and some dirty old man was watching it…” and he usually shuts up about that time and turns the TV off…. just a thought…
However… I do read books that get me hot and hubs loves it….books use the imagination… movies and videos use real people…. just another thought!
BTW, hubs hasn’t been to a strip club in years… he has the real thing at home!!!!! But I don’t perform!!!
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Ahhhhh how I love Edward Cullen in all his blood sucking vampire-ness. My husband also fully supported my addiction and in fact is almost excited to be “babysitting” the kids on Monday so I can go see the movie. Giddyness to follow shortly.
And if you think those books were “girly porn” you should check out the vampire books by Kresley Cole or J.R. Ward. Oooohhhh boy.
As for your questions….
Girls Gone Wild – …..I bet their mothers are MORTIFIED. I know mine would be. They are ridiculously stupid videos that pander to the little boy inside every man.
Strip clubs – …..I have no problem with him going without me, though it’s a VERY rare event. Actually I like to go with him…we take some cash, I pay for lap dances for him and we have a good laugh. Then we come home for a romp.
Porn – …..There was a time when it was a HUGE deal to me if he was watching porn without me, because I was remarkably insecure, but now it’s kind of like the strip clubs. It’s something we do together. And *I* pick the porn. Otherwise we end up with something dumb like Girls Gone Wild. I prefer porn with something that at least resembles a story line.
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i couldn’t agree more about the notebook, titanic and soon to be twilight, they are like a drug to me, haha. i’m all about the girliness they all exude and i love it. eventually my bf will stop making fun of me for it.
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LOL! My husband has actually read all 4 books but no not tell him I told you!
Girls Gone Wild is a big NO! Also no to the strip clubs! Porn, I don’t know…I guess it depends on what kind it is. LOL!
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without going totally passionate/soap boxy- I am completely anti-porn, or any sort… I definately believe in strong holds and things like that, in my opinion, are only destructive strong holds that destroy the hearts and minds of men.
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I wouldn’t mind if my hubby went to a strip club without me but he wouldn’t be interested in going to one anyway. I figure if there are girls that are willing to show themselves and there are guys who want to watch it and everyone is of age then who am I to judge…I don’t want anything to do with those videos though.
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All you ladies out there deserve a man who is willing to stand up against porn, one who is willing to admit it is based in simple selfishness. Wouldn’t you feel so much more respected by him than the guy who keeps pressuring you to watch porn with him or to just accept his little habit? I’m a guy, I know how men’s minds work. The more porn we see, the more twisted our minds will become. The less YOU will ever be able to satisfy us because we have been desensitized. And can’t you see that what starts as Girls Gone Wild naturally devolves into violent, nasty, disgusting porn? Porn will screw up your marriage, it will capture your man’s heart, and you will not satisfy him any longer.
Women, put your foot down and demand that men treat you like a woman deserves to be treated by the men in your life! Mature, good men fight the desire (that we all have) to look elsewhere for what we should only be getting from you, our beloved.
I’m sorry, I’m passionate about this because I’ve known so many girls who have been hurt by these kinds of guys.
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