Friday Eye Candy: The Men of Vegas Edition
I have a Vegas post coming (with a new celebrity encounter story!!!) but I feel like I need to give you a little something to whet your appetite :
Let’s start with a few oldies but goodies…first up, Frank Sinatra.
You can’t have a Vegas post without at least mentioning Elvis. I’m doing you a favor and not including sequin-jumpsuit, terrible sideburn, chubby Elvis and going with Viva Las Vegas Elvis. You can thank me later.
Next up we have one of my absolute favorite movies EVER…Swingers!! How could you not fall in love with Vince Vaughn’s obnoxious, but lovable Trent…
Then there is the hotness trifecta of the Ocean’s Eleven guys. I loved the first one, but I wasn’t too thrilled with the sequels that followed it.
My favorite guy from the list…sexy, sexy Josh Duhamel!!
I never saw “What Happens in Vegas” with Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz. Have you? Is it as terrible as it looks? I may have to just sit through it because I think I need a little dose of Ashton*:
*Demi Moore is one lucky cougar!!!!!!!
Finally, we have Bradley Cooper for The Hangover.
Have you ever been to Vegas?
If you could take one of these guys on a wild, weekend trip to Vegas, who would you pick?
For more Aloha Friday fun, visit An Island Life Blog.
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Monday Mentions
I have no links to post this week since I have been away, but I’m hoping you will have some great new discoveries to share with me.
Leave the link to your Monday Mentions post in the comments if you write one. I’m so looking forward to reading it!
Vegas, Baby!
I just wanted to pop in to say hi and confirm that I’m not dead.
I was afraid that maybe that is what you thought after I dropped off the face of the earth this week. Combine my bloggy disappearance with the events of last weekend and I can’t blame you for drawing that logical conclusion.
The truth is that I’m just out of town. We’re in Vegas to see U2.
We’re having a pretty good time so far (I’d say great but we are down $25. If you are thinking that the fact that I’m disgusted with having only lost $25, you may be thinking that I’m not Vegas material. And you would be right.) and the view from our room is awesome.
Sorry for leaving you high and dry with the eye candy this past Friday. I had an idea to do a Vegas themed edition but didn’t get a chance to schedule it before I left. Real life (grad school project, packing, kids, etc..) got in the way. On the same note, since I’ll be home late on Monday, I’m going to schedule my Monday Mentions post right now but I’m just opening it up for you to share all the great links you found this week. I’m a bit behind on all my internet-ness so I’m leaving it up to you to catch me up.
Kind of off-topic, but since Krissa left this comment on my last post I was thinking that I’d post the answer here in case anyone was wondering. She asked (in regard to my meeting with Ryan):
How has the come down been? or are you still flying high???
The come down was pretty rough the first couple of days. I truly felt like I was a heroine addict going through Gos-withdrawal. However, whenever I look at the pictures I am transported right back to that amazing moment and all is right in the world.
Sigh.
Ok, that’s it for now. Everyone is giving me evil looks for spending too much time on my laptop. See you soon!
Monday Mentions
My mentions for today are going to be brief because it is just barely Monday and I know I am getting this in under the wire. Sorry for the delay. I guess I’m still just a bit off from this crazy weekend.
If you haven’t yet watched Sarah Silverman’s video where she shares her ambitious idea on how to solve the problem of world hunger, I suggest going over here right now and checking it out!! (Warning–some strong language…NSFW)
I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I just don’t get The Bloggess, but I absolutely ADORED this post about her messy house. Hilarious stuff!
And lastly, check out this article about Dead Man’s Bones if you haven’t already read it. I loved reading about the guys’ childhood obsessions with ghosts and just how the whole concept of their music developed.
What have you discovered this weekend???? Leave your link to your own Monday Mention post in the comments and I’ll be sure to stop by to check it out!!
Dead Man’s Bones Concert: Part 2
In case you missed it, you can click here to read all about my first Dead Man’s Bones concert experience.
There are times when I’m glad to have a blog and this is one of those times.
I feel like I need to get all these details recorded properly so when I’m 95 years old and possibly unable to chew my food or recall my own name, I will still be able to ask someone to read this back to me so I can remember the feeling of pure unadulterated bliss that I experienced that one cold October weekend in 2009.
The evening in DC started off on the same crazy note as it did in Philly. We arrived at the concert venue (this time a Synagogue) and had another unexpected Gos-sighting.
We were walking to get a place in line and my friend glanced through these two double doors and said, “Oh my God, there he is!!!“ I backed up to peek in, and lo and behold, THERE HE WAS!!!!!! I squealed and ran away like I was about eight years old. Scratch that. My eight year old daughter wouldn’t have even reacted like that big of a lunatic. Clearly, I need professional help.
We took our place in line (much closer to the front–thank goodness) and waited in the pouring down, freezing rain for the doors to open. It was painfully cold. By the time I got inside, my feet were so numb I thought there was a very good possibility that they might actually fall off.
Something funny happened as we waited. The security guard came out to tell us that there was only five more minutes and he said, “Ladies and gentle–oops, I guess I should just say ladies. Wow, there are sure are a lot of you ladies here tonight.”
I guess to an outsider it would seem a little funny to see so many grown women waiting in the pouring rain for hours to see some random band. Little did he know that it would take a combination of the biggest blizzard/tornado/tsunami/hurricane the world has ever seen to even make us think about getting out of that line. Surely, a little rain and cold wasn’t going to stop us.
Once we got into the Synagogue, we made our way to the front and were seated about 3 rows from the stage. I was ecstatic to see how close we had gotten!
Once again, Dead Man’s Bones put on an incredible show! I loved being so close. I could really see all the cute expressions that Ryan made while he was singing. There were a few times that I had to remind myself to breathe. By the time the concert ended, I actually felt dizzy.
Several other times I had to grip my friend’s leg. I’m not really sure why I did this. Maybe it was so that I could stop myself from passing out. Either that or I thought at any given moment I might actually run up on stage and rip Ryan’s clothes right off. I just felt compelled to brace myself multiple times during the concert. (Kate, if you have bruises on your leg from my death grips, I am so sorry.)
Honestly, can you really blame me? Look at these photos that someone with a better camera than me snapped last night:
Can you really say for sure that you wouldn’t have been just as crazed as me if this is what was standing about ten feet in front of you?
There was one part in particular that just about did me in. Ryan was singing a song (I forget which one) and he started breathing heavily into the microphone. Seriously, the word hot doesn’t even begin to describe how it sounded. Um, yeah. I’ll just leave it at that because this is a PG rated blog and I don’t think it would be proper to elaborate. Just trust me, it was HOT!!!
Another favorite part was when they performed one of the new songs that isn’t on the cd. Ryan sung it almost “a capella” and let me tell you that it had to be one of the most romantic songs I’ve ever heard in my entire life. The way he sung it was just beautiful. He had his eyes closed for most of the song and his voice was so vulnerable and tender. My friend Kate looked over at me and at the same time we both whispered to each other that we wondered who he was thinking about when he sung this song. Of course, you all know who I hoped he was thinking about.
I bought a t-shirt after the show (which I of course I had to wear to bed last night) and then we went back outside to wait for Ryan and Zach to come out. It was still raining so I was starting to get worried that they wouldn’t be signing autographs or taking pictures. There was also a much larger group of girls waiting this time which also concerned me. I wondered if this might scare them away. To me, it looked almost like a mob of crazy stalkers just waiting to attack. They frightened me so I can only imagine what Ryan and Zach must have been thinking. (Don’t you just love how I talk about them as if I wasn’t a part of the madness.)
To pass the time, my friend Kate and I discussed our strategy. Yes, this time I was on a mission and I wasn’t going to let my nerves take over and ruin everything again. I had 3 goals tonight:
- I wanted Zach and Ryan to sign my cd case.
- I wanted to actually talk to Ryan instead of just standing there looking like a zombie.
- I wanted to get close enough to smell him.
We devised a foolproof plan to achieve all 3 of these goals. Now that the plan was set, it was time to put it into action.
First up, Zach came out. I approached him hesitantly because my friend Kate said, “Girl, I wonder if he is going to recognize you from last night.“ Ugh, the pressure. I wondered the same thing, but felt like with all the girls they meet that he probably wouldn’t.
He took the cd case and looked up and said, “Heyyyy, I remember you.” He asked me how I thought the show compared to last night and we chatted a bit. Once again, I was totally blown away by his amazing personality. I gushed about him a lot in the last post, so I won’t repeat the same stuff but just know that he is still cute as ever and everything I said still applies.
Here is a pic of him signing:
And here is a close-up of his autograph:
[Sidenote: I think my husband has a bit of a man-crush on Zach. Both he and my friend's husband couldn't stop talking about the impression that he made on them on the ride home in the car. It isn't like I blame them, but it was actually pretty funny to hear them gush about him.]
We had a few more minutes to wait until Ryan came out. I tried to center myself so that I would not make the same mistakes that I made the previous night. I took deep cleansing breaths. I practiced my lines in my head. I was determined to get this right!
Here is how it all went down:
When it was our turn, I approached Ryan and asked him to sign my cd case. I was shaking like a leaf but I managed to get the words out. While he was signing, I worked up enough nerve to ask him my question. As the words left my mouth, I kept thinking to myself that my voice sounded so weird. Has that ever happened to you? I don’t know how to explain it. It just sounded like I was talking in slow motion or something. It sounded like this to me:
“Heyyy, IIII waaaassss wonddeeerrrinnngg abbbbouttt thhhhee nnneewwwww songgggsss yoooouuu sunnnggg tonnniggghttt. Doooo youuu thinnnnkkk yooouuu willlll reelleeeasse themmmmm?”
Ugh.
Luckily, he was able to understand the complex language of Fan-Girl, but in case you weren’t able to I will translate for you. I asked him about the new songs they performed at the concert. I told him that I loved them (which I did!!) and wanted to know if they had any plans to release them. He thanked me and said that they were planning to release them but didn’t like the way they came out when they recorded them for this album. He said they needed to redo them and he hoped they would release them down the road. This isn’t a word for word transcript of the conversation but I’m pretty sure that is what he said. Let me remind you that my brain was still pretty much mush at this point.
[Looking at that photo, I wonder if I could retrieve the DNA from that pen and cd case for cloning purposes. If anyone reading this has directions on how to accomplish this, please email me privately.]
Close up of Ryan’s autograph:
I will cherish that cd case forever and ever.
After he finished signing, it was time to put phase two of the plan into action.
My friend Kate said, “Hey Ryan, we are here celebrating her birthday. Do you think that she could get a birthday hug.”
There was a split second where I worried that he might say no, but he responded in the sweetest voice I think I’ve ever heard in my whole life, “Oh no, you missed it. We just sung Happy Birthday a few minutes ago. You should have been here.“ Then he opened his arms up for the hug. I felt like I was about to melt but I pulled myself together and nearly leapt into his arms.
I made sure to take a deep breath to take it all in this time.
Now, at this point in the story, you may think that I’m crazy (Ha! I say this as if you weren’t already thinking that). I am now going to try to put into words what he smelled like because I know that if I was reading this that is exactly what I would be wondering. I feel it is my duty to give you the multi-sensory report. Bottom line: he smelled really good!! Very clean and definitely sexy (despite the fact that he had just finished performing and was on day 3 of this sweater.) I have been racking my brain all day trying to pinpoint the smell because it seemed kind of familiar to me and I think I may have figured it out. It reminded me of Old Spice. Now don’t quote me on this because I could be totally off, but I had an old boyfriend that wore it and the scent was definitely in that same family.
Ok, so back to the hug. As he was hugging me he said, “Happy Birthday” and of course like a complete doofus I said Happy Birthday back to him. I quickly corrected myself and said, “Thank you,” but the damage had already been done. I had practiced all my lines but he caught me off guard with the “Happy Birthday” and I couldn’t think on my feet fast enought to come up with an appropriate response. Damn it! I’m so not a smooth operator.
The hug was quick and after it was over (oh how I wished it would never end…) my friend Kate snapped another picture of us together and I really like this one because you can really see how tall he is in it.
As I type this recap, I’m still feeling high on Gosling. I can’t even put into words how exciting this weekend was. I feel like I’m floating on a cloud and I never want to come down.
Unfortunately, I have to get back to real life. Life that involves the carpool lines, endless loads of laundry, and cleaning up cat puke. Life that doesn’t involve hugging Ryan Gosling. Sigh.
Thanks for following me on this crazy endeavor. I’ve really enjoyed sharing it with you all.
Dead Man’s Bones Concert: Part 1
I don’t even know where to begin to write this post. Last night was so surreal. That is just the best way to describe it.
Let me just start by setting the scene. It was an unusually cold and rainy day. Please keep this detail in mind as I tell you about the next thing that happened.
We arrived in Philly around 4pm and decided to try to go and pick up the tickets (which were on will call) since we had a few hours to spare before the concert began. We pulled up to the church (yes, I wrote church…did I mention they were performing in some rather odd venues?). Anyway, Brad pulled our minivan into the alley so I could leap out and run in to see if we could get the tickets. I just about had my umbrella out and ready to go when we noticed that there was a U-Haul parked there. We saw a bunch of guys unloading things from it.
That was when I first saw him.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. Ryan Gosling was about ten feet away from me. Let me repeat that. RYAN GOSLING WAS ABOUT TEN FEET IN FRONT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!
He looked like an angel to me. This is all I can remember for sure. I can’t remember many details from that first sighting because it was then that I experienced my first case of Gos-induced brain mush. It was as though I had entered into a catatonic state. Do you remember the episode of the Brady Bunch when Cindy went on that tv quiz show and looked like this every time the cameras were rolling:
That was how I must have looked, except that I think there may have been some screaming involved as well.
It was though time had stopped and the earth was no longer spinning on its axis. At least that is how it felt to me. If I didn’t hear the muffled sound of Brad screaming, “Get out of the car. Why are you just sitting there?” or feel my heartbeat pounding out of my chest I may have thought I was dead.
Thankfully he went back into the church, so I had a few minutes to clear my head and devise a plan. The plan was to call my friend Kate and ask her what I should do. Unfortunately, she was not home so I screamed a completely incoherent message into her answering machine saying something like “Oh my God, Ryan Gosling is right in front of me. Oh my God, I have no idea what to do. Why aren’t you home? How can you be out at a time like this???? I don’t know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
It was at this point that Brad was about to kill me. He was so mad at me I could almost see the smoke coming out of his ears. He was like, “Get yourself together, woman. Get the hell out of the car and ask him for a picture!!!”
But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I know, I know….I am a total coward, but I did have my reasons and let me try to explain.
First of all, it was pouring. I didn’t want to ask him to stand in the rain to get a picture with me. Yes, I know, in retrospect I probably should have done it so that I could have had a moment of being in the rain with Ryan Gosling and make this dream come true…
I mean, really?! Ryan in the rain is just like the sexiest thing EVER!!!! However, I remind you that my mind wasn’t completely working that well at this point so I hadn’t thought of this prospect. I continued to convince myself that this was not the right moment.
He just looked super busy lifting heavy things and the last thing I wanted to do was to interrupt him from his important work. I mean what if he was annoyed with me and the one picture I had taken with him ended up with him having a sour look on his face. Call me crazy, but I just wasn’t willing to take that chance. It was a gamble but I just knew in my heart that I’d get another chance after the show.
Plus, I was shaking so hard at this point that I really didn’t think I would be able to walk.
Against my better judgement, Brad convinced me that my legs were not in fact broken and that we should at least get out and go see about picking up the tickets. He said we didn’t have to ask him for a picture but we should at least try to arrange a not-so-chance encounter. Sadly, he must have noticed the crazy girl in the mini-van freaking out because by the time we made it into the church he was no where to be found. I have a theory that he probably hid himself in a closet until we left.
We weren’t able to pick up our tickets yet and the guy at the door told us to come back at 8pm when the doors would open. So we went down the street and had dinner. I proceeded to down two mixed drinks. Obviously, I was in need of some liquid courage.
We made our way back to the church to get in line around 6:30pm. The line was already pretty long and I was kicking myself for wasting so much time at the restaurant. Who needs food at a time like this?!?!?!
We stood in line for what seemed like an eternity. It was FREEZING!! Thankfully, at least the rain had stopped. The band was running late so they didn’t open the doors at 8pm. At around 8:30 or so Ryan and Zach came out to apologize. Once again, it was as though my brain turned to mush because I couldn’t think fast enough to get my camera out and snap a picture. I just stood there in utter disbelief that he was right there looking so beautiful.
Finally, we got to go inside and see the show. I’ll be the first to admit that I was skeptical about their music when I first heard it online. That was until I listened to the cd in its entirety. It is beautiful, romantic, haunting music and I’m not just saying that because Ryan sings the songs. They really have created something magical here with Dead Man’s Bones. I could go on and on about how fantastic the concert was but I feel like no matter what words I used to describe it, I wouldn’t be doing it any justice. It was simply FANTASTIC!
After the show was over, I was on a mission. I was not leaving the grounds of that church without a picture. We waited outside in the cold for over an hour. There were about eight other crazy girls waiting for them too. I felt glad to not being the only stalker.
Zach came out first. Let me just say that I had no idea how cute he was. I guess I was too busy with my Gos-Obsession that I hadn’t even noticed.
And he is just about the nicest person EVER!!! He was so incredibly friendly and was happy to chat with us about the show. This picture isn’t the greatest, but let me tell you–he is ADORABLE!!
I had absolutely no problem forming words and stringing them together to make sentences. In fact, I really enjoyed our conversation.
I tell you this because I once again lost all control of my ability to speak or do just about anything when Ryan came out. Here I was again in a Gos-trance and I had to rely on Brad to ask him to take a picture. I can vaguely remembering him asking my name and I must have answered him because I’m pretty sure he said, “Hi Jen.“ I felt his arm go around me. I tried so hard to stay in the moment and really feel what was happening but I failed miserably at this. Before I knew it, the moment was over and he had moved on to another girl.
Here is our photo:
I walked away because I felt weird standing there after the picture was taken. However, once he was out of my line of vision, all my capacities to think came back and I realized that I wanted to ask him something, so we went back over to the church. Sadly, he was already going back inside. I contemplated running after him and tackling him. Instead I acted like a sane adult and watched him walk away. Zach walked by so we asked him the question instead. Once again, he was incredibly nice and seemed genuinely interested in talking about his music. I’m sure Ryan would have been the same way if I could have gotten my act together sooner. He seemed really sweet when I watched him interact with the other fans.
Aggghhhh!!! Why did I have to freeze up?!?!?!
The night obviously was not a bust, but I really wish that I had been able to have a conversation with him. Luckily, I know myself well enough to have foreseen that this was going to happen. That is why I bought tickets for both shows he was doing in my area. We are headed to DC tonight. I plan to get him to sign my cd case and actually SAY SOMETHING TO HIM!!!!!!!!
Wish me luck!!!!!
Friday Eye Candy: Libra Edition
I have to admit that I feel a bit disappointed in the selection of guys born under my sign. There are a couple of good choices but I usually have such a long list when doing these horoscope posts that I have difficulty narrowing it down.
This week I’m actually going to throw in a couple of beautiful Libra women to round out the list a bit. I couldn’t resist since they are just so gorgeous. Hope you don’t mind.
Matt Damon
And some bonus Matt Damon eye candy…love this scene from Bourne Identity…so sexy!!
I fell in love with Freida Pinto in Slumdog Millionaire.
Hugh Jackman…not a huge fan, but I know most of you are.
Rachel McAdams…so pretty!
John Mayer
Did you hear he is supposedly dating Jennifer Aniston again? File that under “things that make me go hmmmm”
Kate Winslet…my pretend celeb BFF. Now that I know she’s a Libra I know we would hit it off.
Zac Efron..who I’m not usually a fan, but after seeing this pic over here, I have begun to reconsider my position on his hotness factor:
I could barely sleep last night. I was so full of excitement and anticipation. This really stinks because I’m pretty sure I have bags under my eyes. I do not want Ryan to see me with bags under my eyes.
Hmph!
What is your best tip for getting to sleep at night?
If you could have a sleepover with any of the Libras above, who would you choose?
For more Aloha Friday fun, visit An Island Life blog.
Ryan Gosling’s iPod
I have fond memories of spending hours sitting in front of my parents’ stereo listening to their collection of old records. As the sounds of days gone by would echo through the speakers, I would close my eyes and daydream about kissing boys in tight t-shirts and riding on the back of their motorcycle with my hair blowing in the wind.
Boys that looked similar to this:
I felt a strange connection to the music…it was innocent,soulful and just plain cool.
I’d forgotten how much I loved discovering “new” old music until this morning. I read this article about what’s on Ryan Gosling’s iPod (ok, ok so it is actually the combined iPods of Ryan and his bandmate Zach Shield from Dead Man’s Bones but whatever) and I’ve been grooving out all morning to the songs. It is just what I needed to improve my mood on a cold and gloomy day.
I’ve taken the time to compile most of the songs in a playlist (and a few leftovers that weren’t on available on playlist) below for your listening pleasure. Enjoy:
A few more not on Playlist:
And my absolute FAVORITE!!!!! This is such a romantic song. Actually most of the songs are quite romantic (which of course makes me love Ryan even more if that is at all possible).
You & Me – Penny & The Quarters
Definitely click here to listen to the entire version. LOVE IT!!
So, tomorrow is the big day! Dead Man’s Bones concert in Philly. I’m almost giddy with excitement. It is hard to believe that I will be in the same room, breathing the same air molecules as Ryan. Please send positive vibes my way. I will update either tomorrow night or Saturday morning. Stay tuned…
A Pinch To Grow An Inch
Dear Ryan,
Thank you for making this lovely little video. It was the perfect birthday present!
Love,
Jen
PS The video was great and everything, but you can give me my real present on Friday when I see you at the Philly show.
PPS For the record, I have absolutely no idea what I mean when I say “real” present, but I trust that you already have something planned and I’m sure it will be spectacular!
PPPS I don’t want to sound ungrateful for all the hard work that you put into my birthday video. I just thought you should know that I’m more of a cat person than a dog person. Maybe you could file that info away for future video projects. The puppy was cute and all, but a trained cat popping balloons would have been the BEST BIRTHDAY VIDEO EVER!!
PPPPS I’ve been thinking. I know you are going to be really busy with your tour over the next couple of days so I am taking the liberty of coming up with a “real” present idea for you. I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard of this little custom called “birthday spanking”. It may be a completely foreign concept since you are Canadian, but in America we have a tradition of spanking a person for fun on his or her birthday. Here’s a visual in case you are still confused:
(Except that I hope you will look less like a deranged lunatic while giving me my spanks.)
Once you finish the spanking, you are supposed to end with a pinch to grow an inch or a kiss for good luck.
Ok, so I’m totally making that last part about the kiss up, but I’m hoping that you will keep it in there anyway.
35 Things I Haven’t Learned In My 35 Years
Today, I’m turning 35.
I’ve often seen lists that people write on their birthdays and I thought it might be fun to make one. I started off attempting to write a “things I’ve learned” list but the more I thought I about it, the more I realized that I am still very much a work in progress.
I found it way easier to write this list instead.
The 35 Things I Haven’t Learned In My 35 Years on the Planet
1. How to whistle.
2. How to give up Coke Zero for good.
3. How to keep my house clean for longer than a day.
4. How to stop procrastinating and get stuff done.
5. How to talk my way out of getting a speeding ticket. (Once again, failed at this on Friday.)
6. How to not sweat the small stuff (This one mostly pertains to my poor husband. Otherwise I know that it is all small stuff).
7. How to make a ton of money doing what I love (and also figure out exactly what I love to do in the meantime).
8. How to surf. (Or better yet, how to get a really cute surfer boy to teach me how to surf.)
9. How to put eyeliner on my upper lid without looking like a goth freak.
10. How to fold a fitted sheet without it looking like it was folded by a gorilla.
11. How to roll my “R”s so I can sound sexy when I’m doing a Spanish accent. (Note: First I should probably learn to do a sexy Spanish accent)
12. How to get my husband to do his share of the housework without nagging. Or this one could also be how to perform hypnosis on people when they are not aware of it.
13. How to actually enjoy watching a football game so I could understand what everyone is screaming about on Sunday.
14. How to play chess.
15. How to correctly use a semi-colon; I must have been too busy staring at that cute boy in English class when the teacher did that lesson.
16. How to meditate without a. Falling asleep b. Getting distracted or c. Having strange out of body experiences and visions that freak me the heck out. (Yes, option c has happened to me a few times.)
17. How to create and stick to a budget that doesn’t feel like it is sucking the life out of me.
18. How to get my kids to stop whining and pick up their toys/clothes/underwear off the floor without being told.
19. How to get over a devastating break-up.
Note: It is scientifically possible to not be a part of the relationship and still be devastated by the break-up.
20. How to get cat pee smell out of carpet. (Or better yet, how to stop picking cats that have urinary tract issues. Sigh.)
21. How to be on time.
22. How to solve a Rubick’s Cube. (Grrr…did you know these wretched things are still around. My daughter got one for her 8th birthday. I thought I would never have to face that cube nightmare again and here it is taunting me to solve it.)
23. How to Carpe Diem more often.
24. How to taste the flavors in wine because seriously when I read the label and it says vanilla, blackberry, oak, etc…I can’t for the life of me pick out any of it. It all just tastes like wine to me, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but it sure would be nice to have a more discerning palate.
25. How to tango, waltz, salsa or any other form of dance with a partner.
27. How to take control of my laundry pile so it isn’t always taking control over me.
28. How to walk in heels without looking like I’m about to tip over at any given moment.
29. How to play an instrument, carry a tune or do anything even remotely related to music.
30. How to keep a houseplant alive. (Seriously, I have no idea how my kids have lasted this long.)
31. How to sew, knit, sculpt, paint, draw or do anything remotely art-related.
32. How to stop spending so much money on travel.
33. How to learn to love to exercise instead of avoiding it like the plague.
34. How to get clear skin and keep it that way. (Seriously, pimples!! This is getting utterly ridiculous. How are you still here invading my chin when there is some teenager’s face that is much more deserving of an attack?)
35. How to drive a stick shift.
Well, clearly I still have a lot left to learn. It looks like I have my work cut out for me. My goal is to cut this list in half before I turn 40.
Or at the very least, learn to whistle.
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