Leaving Las Vegas
I found myself singing the words to that Sheryl Crow song in my head as we made our way to the Las Vegas airport to board our red-eye flight home.
I’m Leaving Las Vegas
Lights so bright
Palm sweat, blackjack
On a Saturday night
Leaving Las Vegas
Leaving for good, for good
I’m leaving for good
I’m leaving for good
I have now been to Sin City two times and I think that is my limit. I guess I’m just not a Vegas kind of girl.
1. I like to gamble (more specifically play Blackjack) but I don’t like to lose. Actually, losing makes me sick to my stomach and the more I lose the more I want to throw myself into the Lion pit at the MGM hotel. Sadly, Lady Luck was not on our side this trip. We were up and down the whole time but in the end, we came home losers.
2. I have no problem with the fact that there are strip clubs galore in Vegas (well, actually I do) but don’t throw the skanky girls in my face when I’m least expecting it. We came back to our hotel after a long night of walking (see #3) and what do I see as we come through the doors of our hotel casino? Oh, just a few pole dancers on top of the Blackjack tables. I had no time to prepare myself. There they were in all their skanky, STD-filled glory.
I actually think the idea is brilliant from a business perspective. How is a heterosexual male supposed to make good betting decisions with butt cheeks and boobs all up in their face? As for me, I think I’ll pass on losing my life savings while having the pleasure of getting sweat on by dirty whores. No thank you.
Oh, sorry let me guess. They are paying their way through med-school. Whatever.
3. I don’t know about you but when I’m on vacation I try to avoid exercise at all times. I like to sit, lounge, lay, ride, but walking is not a verb that I like to incorporate in my vacation vocabulary. I felt like all we did on this trip was walk and walk and walk. Everything looks so close (note: it isn’t), so we made the mistake of saying, “Oh we’ll just walk instead of getting a cab.” I thought my feet were going to fall off at one point. I attempted to wear heels one night but thankfully I listened to the little voice in my head that said, “ARE YOU CRAZY?? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING? TAKE THOSE DEATH SHOES OFF RIGHT NOW!!” and so I opted for a more comfortable option. Then of course the whole night I see all these girls wearing their gorgeous, sexy high heels and I’m feeling all sorts of shoe envy, while I’m schlepping around in my flip flops.
4. I could really do without the whole “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” mentality. Whoever came up with that slogan just needs to be taken out to the desert and shot. Ok, so maybe not shot, but at least permenantly take their pen, paper, computer, whatever away so they can’t invent anymore ridiculous slogans. I wish I could elaborate more, but let me just say that you really don’t know people until you go to Vegas with them.
5. Then there are the boobs. They are everywhere. And I’m not just talking about the slutty Blackjack pole dancers. I’m talking about the tourists. Or maybe they all live there. Maybe they put boob enhancing vitamins in the water or make breast implants mandatory. I have no idea, but everywhere you turn is a girl with a gigantic knockrs. Of course, most are fake, but does it really matter? When we first landed, I went off to find information about the shuttle to the hotel and the guy behind the counter kept looking past me while he was talking to me. I turn around to find out what he is staring at and right behind me is a pair of perky (fake) double Ds. No wonder he was so distracted. I would have been distracted too.
6. The guys in Vegas all think they are the guys from The Hangover. On our flight to Vegas, the guys behind me on the plane were all laughing and bragging about how they had lied to their wives and girlfriends about where they were going this weekend. Then they started singing T-Pain’s catchy little diddy, “I’m In Love with a Stripper”. I thought I was going to puke by the time I got off the plane. I had to physically restrain myself because my desire to turn around and smack the stupid, smug looks off their faces was so great I could hardly stand it. It wasn’t just on the plane. Noooo…these types of guys are everywhere.
So, you may be wondering if we had a good time at all. Yes, there were some highlights:
1. The U2 Concert–the reason we even went out there in the first place–was once again INCREDIBLE!! I loved every minute of it.
2. I loved the Bellagio fountains and of course I had to get this picture of my husband and his best friend doing the final scene from Ocean’s Eleven.
Move over Pitt and Clooney!!
3. The rides at the top of the Stratosphere. I’ve mentioned before that I’m a thrill-seeker so it won’t surprise you that this was my one “must-do” of the trip. Here’s a picture of Brad and me after the Big Shot.
4. And finally the absolute highlight of the trip—a surprise celebrity sighting!!!!
I’ll fill you in on the details about this encounter on the next post because this is already getting way too long and I need to go help my son with his book report.
Stay tuned….
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I have to say that I’m not terribly sorry I’ve never been to Vegas!! You have confirmed my suspicions all along – except – really? Truly? On the plane even? EVERYWHERE? I thought perhaps, they would be discrete about it! Yeah. Although, cheap, I would probably leave feeling like a dumpy non-heel wearing – sexually un-stimulating middle aged woman. Hooray. I can do without, thanks!
Good on you for posting your REAL experiences!! So – um – not sponsored trip?
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I think twice is my limit too on Vegas. I might go again if there is a show I really want to see but other than that I have no desire. Mostly because of the walking and the smoking on my end!
Can’t wait to hear who your celebrity sighting is!
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I hate Vegas too! It’s a been there done that and never again kinda place! So jealous I love U2!!
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I was in Vegas a few weeks ago (sadly, I wasn’t able to stay for the U2 concert!), and I actually really loved the place. But it was my first time, and maybe my second time won’t be as great.
I totally agree on the walking thing! Everything DOES look really close, and NOTHING is as close as it seems! My feet are still healing from all of the blisters!
I watched the Bellagio fountain shows for about an hour one night! So cool!
And I got really tired of all of the escort and stripper cards that the people on the street kept flicking to get my attention. Actually, I suppose they were trying to get my husband’s attention. Whatever-very annoying!
Looks like you had fun, nonetheless!
Saj´s last blog ..Trick or Treat
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love love love the Bellagio fountains!!!!
Shana´s last blog ..First Official School Picture-Kindergarten
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