An Open Letter to Mr. Doritos
Dear Mr. Doritos or The Person In Charge of Flavor Decision-Making at the Frito Lay Corporation,
I just want to take a moment to let you know how much my husband and I have always enjoyed your chips. Over the years, we have consumed way too much of your snacky goodness and have the chub to prove it. I’m especially liking the tangy-flavor-from-heaven that is your Spicy Sweet Chili chip.
I do have one issue that I need to address with you. I would like you to PLEASE STOP making these “mystery flavored” bags. I was willing to let the X13-D slide because they were pretty darn tasty. Who wouldn’t want a chip that tastes like a cheeseburger? This was almost like a little meal in a single bite, kind of what I imagine Wonka’s Ever-Lasting Gobstopper to be like.
However, I am outraged that you tricked my snack-obsessed husband into buying your Quest Doritos. This man will pretty much eat any chip you throw at him, but even he draws the line with these dreadfully horrible bites from Hell.
I mean who in their right mind thought that a chip that tastes like a combination of Pledge dusting spray and Lemon Bars would be a winning flavor?!?! It was just plain confusing. Am I eating a chip or a dessert or a cleaning product? I just don’t know what to make of them.
I’m really disappointed in you, Doritos. I love you, but if you keep trying to trick us with these “Mystery Flavors”, we are going to have to part company.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Daily Mish Mash
P.S. If you want to make up, please come up with a chip that does not have any calories or grams of fat.
P.P.S. Bring back the Cheeseburger chips. They were AWESOME!
P.P.P.S. If you would like to make up some more, send me some free chips. Thanks. 
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Favorite Party Recipe (Happy Birthday McMommy)
I’m over at McMommy’s place today to help her celebrate the big 3-0. Happy Birthday!!
She asked us to bring our favorite dish and post the recipe on our blog, and the first thing that I thought of was my Mango Black Bean Salsa recipe (it isn’t actually mine since I got it from a friend who probably got it from some recipe website, but whatever). It is so good and pretty easy to make (if you don’t mind cutting things up).
This is a great recipe for the summer months because it is light and refreshing. I think it is pretty healthy too, but we can forgive that since it tastes so darn good. Oh and it tastes great with a Margarita. Doesn’t everything??!!
Mango Black Bean Salsa
1 fresh mango peeled and chopped
1 large tomato – chopped
1 red bell pepper – chopped (or yellow, green or orange)
1/4 C. finely chopped red onion
1 can black beans – rinsed & drained
Combine all ingredients. Add to mixture below.
1 TBSP rasberry wine vinegar
1 TBSP olive oil
1/4 tsp. kosher salt
Juice of 1/2 – 1 lime to taste
chopped cilantro to taste
If preparing in advance, chill in fridge before adding oil/vinegar mixture. Add mixture about 1 hour prior to serving.
Serve w/ “scoops”. Also works on chicken or fish.
Go get your party shoes on and head over to McMommy’s. Here are mine. I’m not modeling them because I need a serious pedicure, but you can get the idea. These are my black patent leather peep-toe pumps. They look cuter in person.
Menu Plan Monday
Last week we tried the bread machine recipe for pizza dough from Organizing Junkie. It was easy to make and turned out pretty well. I would have to say it was the best one I’ve tried so far. My daughter actually said it was the best pizza she’s ever tasted, so take that for what it’s worth.
We’re having one of my absolute favorite foods this week–Quesadillas!! I just can’t get enough of these. Did I mention how much I love them??!! I do have a question for anyone who reads this. I would love to hear how you make your quesadillas. Do you use butter, oil, non-stick spray or a combination of a couple of these to prep your pan? This is one thing I haven’t mastered yet with my quesadillas. They either turn out too dry or too greasy, so if you have any advice, I’d love to hear it in the comments.
Here is this week’s menu:
Monday–Chicken Quesadillas, spanish rice, salad (Maybe we’ll even break out some Margaritas for Cinco De Mayo–wish it fell on a Friday)
Tuesday–Meatloaf, Mashed Potatoes, Corn
Wednesday–Chicken Patty Sandwich, Mac n cheese, mixed veggies
Thursday-Pasta with meat sauce, salad, garlic bread
Friday–Tangy Grilled Pork Tenderloin, couscous, beans (leftover from last week–didn’t get around to making it)
Saturday–Leftovers or Going out
Sunday–Mother’s Day –You’ve got to be kidding me if you think that I’m cooking today. We’ll probably end up visiting our moms today. Hopefully they’ll feed us.
To see more weekly menus, head on over to Organizing Junkie.
The Five Stages of Getting Fat
You may be familiar with Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s Stages of Grief. Well, the other day as I was trying on some jeans that I hadn’t worn in awhile, it occured to me that there is a similiar process that one goes through when they realize they’ve gained a few extra pounds.
Here is how I went through all 5 stages in about fifteen minutes:
1. Denial –I think we may need a new dryer because it keeps shrinking all my jeans.
2. Anger – These [insert curse word] jeans are really tight! Why would anyone make jeans this tight? I’m going to kill the person who thought up skinny jeans. I. Can’t. Even. Breathe. Looks like I’ll have to wear them unbuttoned. Do you think anyone will notice? Of course they will because this looks [insert curse word] horrendous!!!
(Head to the kitchen to grab a snack to cope–I’m a stress eater by nature.)
3. Bargaining –After this one last cookie, I promise that I’m going to switch to that macrobiotic diet I keep hearing Gwyneth Paltrow talking about. Oh wait, I think she went off that. How in the world is a normal person like me supposed to follow a strict diet (crunching cookies) if Gwyneth can’t even do it. I’ll just try to exercise more. And eat less cookies.
4. Depression – Ugh. Why did I just eat almost half a bag of cookies? I hate myself. Screw it, these cookies are good. They’d probably even taste better with a little ice cream. You know what? I didn’t even look good in those jeans to begin with.
5. Acceptance –Where are my yoga pants?
Best Day Of The Year
Tomorrow is 31 Cent Scoop Night at Baskin Robbins and you know I’m gonna be there! It used to be free but who can complain about 31 cents??!!
Cheap + Ice Cream = Best Day of the Year
*2.5oz scoops are 31 cents plus tax where applicable. Limit 10 scoops per person, per purchase. Available 04/30/08, from 5pm to 10pm, at your local Baskin-Robbins while supplies last.
My favorite flavor is a tie between Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough or Cookies and Cream. Last time I tried a flavor that had something to do with ’smores–decadent. Now that you can get up to 10 scoops, I may have to try some a couple different ones. This could be dangerous.
Let me know your favorite flavor in the comments section.
Menu Plan Monday
After the rave reviews from the family on last weeks’ Cuban Sandwiches, I’ve decided that we should have sandwich night once a week. I made them on the Foreman grill and they turned out great. They were easy to make and really tasty–who could ask for anything more?
Monday-Steak, broccoli, potatoes
Tuesday-Easy Grilled Fish (Marinate in italian dressing, top w/mushrooms, grill. Add cheddar cheese during the last few minutes), rice, peas
Wednesday-Sandwich Night–Sloppy Joe’s, french fries, spinach(Baseball again, so its got to be fast and easy!)
Thursday-Baked Teriyaki Chicken, rice, stir fry veggies
Friday-Pizzas (Homemade crust for bread maker–trying Laura’s Recipe)
Saturday-Tangy Grilled Pork Tenderloin, couscous, beans
Sunday-Pasta w/ Shrimp, garlic and olive oil sauce, salad
Dress Shopping Gone Wrong
This past week I had to buy a dress for a friend’s wedding because the little black dress hanging in my closet just wasn’t going to cut it for a noon wedding. So off to the store I went to look for something that wouldn’t make me look too fat. When I walked into the department store (Macy’s in case you were wondering) there were tons of choices and I was hopeful that I’d find something.
Have I mentioned that I hate shopping? I know this isn’t something you would normally hear from a woman, but it is true. Here’s the reason: Spending Money + Making Decisions = Not a Happy Me
There is one exception to this rule and that is shopping for dresses. I can almost tolerate this excursion because there is part of me that feels like a princess trying on gowns for a ball or a movie star finding a gown for Oscar night (Oh how I love a good delusion).
Its a pretty enjoyable experience until you find yourself in the dressing room next to a bunch of high school girls trying on dresses for the prom. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on them. One, because I like to eavesdrop on people in dressing rooms. And two, because they were your typical shrieky, squealy high school girls, so it was almost impossible to mind my own business.
I started feeling older and older by the minute. I listened as they tried on dress after dress and deconstructed the merits of each one. Most of the talk revolved around how this one looked like so and so’s dress from The Hills or which one made their boobs look biggest. But the biggest selling point of each dress seemed to be which dress made them look the skinniest.
For a minute I considered that they may actually be obese as I keep hearing about this growing epidemic of overweight children in America. I was curious to see the poor fat things so I made my way out of the dressing room to sneak a peek.
Of course they were not fat. They were among the other epidemic in America–girls who are not fat, but think they are because of girls like this:
(Yuck)
(Double Yuck)
So, I tried to do my good deed for the day and gushed over how beautiful the dresses looked on the girls (which they really did), how pretty they looked and how much they did NOT look fat.
I then went back into my dressing room and went back to the task at hand–finding a dress that really did hide my fat. You know-the fat that is actually there. Not the invisible kind that these girls were talking about.
I failed at the mission. I came home empty handed and will wear the black dress that sort of hides the extra pounds that I put on over the winter. Black is good.
I am seriously going to start my diet again. Tomorrow.
Like Finding A Twenty Dollar Bill Left In Your Pocket
You know the feeling. After a long summer, you put your jacket on for the first time and reach into your pocket. Jackpot!! You pull out the folded up bill and your heart begins to flutter with excitement. Or when the alarm clock goes off on the weekend and you realize you don’t have to get up for anything. Well, this morning as I was driving home from running some errands I had a similar experience. Not just once, but two times!!
I was driving along and felt my stomach start to growl and I looked at the clock. It was 10:13am–darn it, 2 more hours until lunchtime. (Yes, I do count down the minutes until my next meal because I’m pathetic like that.) Then it hit me that I had forgotten to eat breakfast this morning. Jackpot!! I felt like I just hit the lottery. I began dreaming of all the ways I would spend my winnings–should I have oatmeal, cereal, bagel, waffles–oh the possibilities are endless. For the record, I love food that much.
My thoughts then turned to what was on my agenda for the day and I realized it was Thursday. Jackpot! New episodes of The Office and 30 Rock!! Oh yes, I am that addicted to tv and now its out there for all the world to see. Well, I’d like to think that at least I’ll make someone else feel better today because after reading this they’ll realize that someone else’s life is indeed more boring then theirs. I’ve done my good deed for the day.
By this time I’m loving life and feeling totally upbeat. This was really starting out to be a great day. I think I may even exercise today. Now that would be something different. That’s how good I was feeling. Then, without warning, the low fuel gage started beeping and I realized I would have to dump nearly $60 to just get home. I think I’ll exercise tomorrow.
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