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Enter Monthly to WinNot Meant To Be
Have you ever really wanted to like something but after several failed attempts, you realize that maybe it just isn’t meant to be.
Yesterday, we decided to spend the afternoon at the Renaissance Festival. As I mentioned in this post, I have only been once before and to say that I didn’t have the best time would be a big understatement.
Sadly, I have to say that history, once again, repeated itself.
I thought I’d sum up the day with a couple of brief quizzes:
What do you think scared my son the most at the festival?
Was it:
A. The Creepy Mime on Stilts
B. The Sword Swallowing Demon
C. The Slide of Doom
The correct answer is C. Slide of Doom (not really its name, of course.)
Are you surprised? If you are thinking to yourself that the mime looked much more menacing then you would be right.
For some strange reason, my almost 9 year old son thought he was going to plunge to his death on this slide. After a lot of convincing, he finally felt brave enough to attempt it.
Well, about halfway down, he changed his mind and proceeded to try to turn himself around and climb back up the slide. Gravity won out and he came down anyway. Backwards. By the time he reached the bottom of the slide he was completely inconsolable.
It was a very bad scene.
Let’s just say the rest of the day was pretty much a disaster because of this one unfortunate event.
How about another quiz?
What do you think was my husband’s favorite part of the Renaissance festival?
Was it:
A. The large variety of meat on sticks.
B. The large variety of boobs in corsets
C. All of the above.
If you chose C. All of the above, you would be correct.
Last quiz.
True or False. No matter how much you have to go, you do not want to use the bathroom at the Renaissance festival.
If you answered True, then you would be correct.
I get the idea of wanting to try to create a 16th century English village experience. I just wish they would have sacrificed a bit of the authenticity in the bathroom department.
Don’t be fooled by the fancy name.
Privies = Port-a-Pot= DISGUSTING!!!Spending $16 a person and having to pee on top of everyone else’s pee is where I have to draw the line. It’s 2008 people!!
I think this is where the Renn Fest and I have to part ways. I guess we just weren’t meant to be.
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I’m taking a pass on the Looking Fine by 2009 check-in today. I had a really bad week of ZERO exercise, tons of snacking and I refuse to step on the scale on my birthday to see the results. Sorry. I’ll be back next week with the regularly scheduled torture. If you wrote up a post, feel free to leave your link in the comments.
Random Thoughts About Crafts, Debates and Parenting
It’s been raining here just about all weekend. Yesterday when my kids turned on their beloved Nickelodeon to watch yet another episode of Sponge Bob (because the odds are good that it will be on), they were faced with a screen showing this:
The basic idea was Nick suspended programming giving families the motivation to get up, go out, and get active.
A terrific idea, but wasted on a day that was pretty much a monsoon where we live.
Disney channel to the rescue!! :)
Eventually they bored of being couch potatoes and begged me to do a craft with them. The craft in question was this:
Now, I’m not much of a fan of crafts but turning dogs into divas was enough to make me want to make me want to participate. The only thing better would have been diva cats, but I’ll settle.
Here is our finished Diva Puppies project:
My dog is the dalmation, my daughter’s is the yellow lab (I tried to tell her to use more of a tan color but she insisted on the canary yellow), and my son’s is the beagle. Of course I helped a lot with my son’s beagle since he spent most of the time whining and complaining that he hates crafts and isn’t good at art.
He worked on this project with us because I took his Playstation away from him all day for calling me “mean”.
Taking video games away seem like such a great idea at the time. I can’t even tell you the satisfaction that I got from saying to him, “Oh you think I’m mean. Guess what?! You just lost Playstation all day on Saturday. You thought I was mean before-now you’ll see how mean I can really be.” Of course I followed this up with a really evil laugh.
But when it rains all day and Nick has gone off the air, it is me who is punished because I’m stuck trying to think of things for him to do all day. Thus, the reason he participated in the Diva Puppies project and watched Ariel’s Beginning for the second time in 24 hours.
I really need to find something else to hold over his head.
Did you all watch the debates on Friday? Did it change your opinion on the candidates?
I’m still undecided. There were a couple of points that McCain made that really made sense and made me think he was the better candidate and then I’d listen to Obama speak on certain issues and want to stand up and shout Amen (Although I would never do that because I tend to just remain seated when watching tv).
My favorite part was when McCain talked about the soldier’s bracelet that he wears and Obama responded, “I have a bracelet too.” I don’t know why but that just totally cracked me up. Then all of the times Jim Lehrer would try to get them to look at each other. It reminded me of an elementary school debate at those times, which of course reminded me of the episode of the Brady Bunch where Greg and Marcia were both running for student council president.
Is anyone else sick of hearing the media and politicians say “Main Street vs Wall Street” in reference to the financial crisis? Being the Disney World freak that I am, whenever I hear this (which is about every 5 minutes) I can’t help but think of Main Street at the Magic Kingdom:
Lastly, I just want to say that I think teachers should never use text lingo when replying to emails sent to parents.
I know there are plenty of other things that I should worry about, but I have to just tell you about this email response from my daughter’s teacher.
Basically, we were emailing back and forth and the last email she sent was just one letter: K
As in, OK, but without the “O”.
At first I thought there was something wrong with the email and that the rest of the words got cut off. Then I remembered the “texting lingo” for OK is just K.
I know she is really busy with 24 first graders and doesn’t have a lot of time to construct long responses but give me a break. I don’t think typing the extra “O” would have taken that much longer and God forbid “Sounds good. Thanks!” would have just taken those extra 6 seconds and that is just unheard of in her 26 yr old mind.
I know I sound like a crotchety old lady complaining about such an unimportant detail. The bottom line is that as long as she is teaching my daughter proper English and grammar, I don’t really care how she emails me but I couldn’t help but feel just a tad bit annoyed by it.
On a similar note, I just read the funniest thing about how Roger Ebertreplied to a reader’s email full of internet shorthand. I probably would have just ignored it if I received something like this but I like the way Ebert responded:
Reader Question: Yo dude, u missed out on “Disaster Movie,” a hardcore laugh-ur-@zz-off movie! Y U not review this movie!? It was funny as #ell! Prolly the funniest movie of the summer! U never review these, wat up wit dat?
Ebert’s Response: Hey, bro, I wuz buzier than $#i+, @d they never shoed it b4 hand. I peeped in the IMDb and saw it zoomed to #1 as the low$ie$t flic of all time, wit @ lame-@zz UZer Rating of 1.3. U liked it? Wat up wit dat?
My response to Roger Ebert: LOL!! U R da man!
Britney: Hit or Miss?
I feel like I should do a follow up post to this letter I wrote to Britney Spears a few days ago. Last night, I parked my butt in front of the tv, giving up precious hours of Twilight reading time and forgetting to take my recycling around to the curb, because I was glued to the tv to see if Britney was going to perform on the VMAs.
I think Marie’s comment last week summed up what I was thinking. I was no longer waiting for a train wreck (ok, maybe just a little), but I was hoping she would redeem herself. She said:
“I truly hope she gets her come back this time. In a way, now it’s about proving that you can be a mother and sexy at the same time, and I’m all for that.”
Unfortunately, all my hoping and anticipation of greatness was in vain. She did NOT end up performing. She did open the show with a pathetic attempt at acting cute little skit and walked away with three pity awards VMAs though.
Now, I’m not trying to be mean about Britney because I do appreciate the fact that she didn’t take her clothes off and make out with everyone in sight. I mean that is something that deserves praise, at least when it comes to Britney. For that, I’ll give her props.
It’s just that now that every time I go to put a piece of paper in my recycling bin and it is overflowing and falling out all over the place I will be reminded by the fact that Britney didn’t perform and be annoyed with her all over again for tricking me into watching that annoying show. Even appearances by Shia Labeouf and Josh Peck couldn’t save the awards show for me. I may just have to rethink my stance on being a Cougar afterall, because they just looked all greasy to me. Michael Phelps stumbled through his lines and Christina Aguilera had to lip sync her performance. I mean who can blame her. How could she be expected to sing when she couldn’t even breathe in her tight outfit?!. Would someone please just get the poor girl some clothes that fit!
Then there is the mystery of Weezy. What is a Weezy? I keep hearing people refer to this mystery person, but I can’t for the life of me figure out who it is? Someone please help a girl out. Who is Weezy?
Going back to Britney, I truly think my already rocky relationship with her is beyond repair. It just isn’t meant to be. I gave her a chance to redeem herself and she wasted it with bad comedy and poorly written acceptance speeches.
And why couldn’t she have performed? Something. Anything. Even if it was just a few minutes on stage as a cameo on someone else’s performance. (Personally, I was hoping for something with Justin, but that was just wishful thinking since I didn’t even see him there at all.)
So, let’s discuss. Was Britney’s appearance at the VMAs a hit or miss? How do you think she did with this year’s comeback attempt?
To read more about the VMAs and weigh in on the whole Jonas Brothers purity ring controversy, hop over to Happy Meals and Happy Hour.
An Open Letter to John Mayer Part 3
Dear John Mayer,
I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but I’m breaking up with you.
I think you are a really great guy–talented, charming, funny, sexy. It is just that you did something that I am finding really hard to get over.
It wasn’t the fact that I read an article in US Weekly that said that you liked having kinky sex with your girlfriends and telling everyone about it.
I can forgive you for that. (Truth be told, I was only slightly turned on disturbed by this.)
It wasn’t that you may or may not have been caught in a hot tub with 4 girls in Cabo after Jennifer Aniston may or may not have broken up with you because you may or may not have cheated on her with a fan.
I can forgive you for that since I appreciate entertainers who are friendly with their fans.
It wasn’t even that the article said the only reason you dated Jennifer in the first place was to see why Brad Pitt wouldn’t want her.
That is just plain mean, and didn’t sound like the man that writes such heartfelt love songs. I would never believe any of these vicious lies.
There is just one thing that I just can’t get over. The final straw that broke the camel’s back was when I saw the video of you talking about your breakup with Jennifer Aniston.
I appreciate you trying to clear the air, but I just can’t get over the fact that you did this to your hair:
Why, John, why? It just doesn’t make any sense. You looked so hot with your boyish, retro 80’s cut. Why mess with a good thing?
I stuck with you during your freakishly big hair days, because I figured it was just a phase you were going through. Maybe you were just trying to look like your girlfriend at the time, Jessica Simpson:
You may not have gotten the memo, John, but only one of my pretend boyfriends has my permission to shave their head and that is him:
Ok, and maybe him (but only when he is playing the role of a sexy police cadet for a movie):
But you (and James McAvoy) are not allowed to do this. Ever.
I can find it in my heart to forgive you for this indiscretion (and all the other stuff if in the off chance any of it is true) if you could do me one little, teeny, tiny favor.
You see, you are doing another one of those cruises. You know, the one where you pulled this stunt:
And I would LOVE to go, but there is one little problem. I spent the remainder of our vacation fund on last year’s trip to Disney World and my husband has put his foot down about taking anymore vacations until next summer.
Since your Mayercraft Carrier departs in March, that presents a bit of a problem.
So, I am once again petitioning you (and the Universe). If you could find it in your heart to give away one empty stateroom (preferably next to yours), I would love to accompany you on this little voyage.
Ok, and my husband would of course have to come too, but these are just minor details.
Thank you for your time and feel free to email me about the cruise.
Jen (Last Name is not Aniston)
Chevy Gets It
My friend emailed me a few days ago and wanted me to blog about the women’s beach volleyball Olympic event. She wrote:
Why is it that the beach volleyball girls wear little skimpy bikinis and the guys are wearing shorts and shirts? Shirts? Since when do guys wear shirts on the beach? I’m not asking for a speedo, just take the shirt off…it’s so not cool. AND, now Rob (her husband) is suddenly a huge fan of the women’s beach volleyball.
I have to admit that I haven’t been paying very much attention to this travesty. All of my Olympic viewing up to this point has been dedicated to watching Michael Phelps smash world records and make the “Frenchies” eat their words. Oh and of course, win more gold medals than any other Olympian ever.
I was also trying to solve the mystery of what he was listening to on his iPod before the race.
(*I finally found out the answer to this question and will share his song choice at the end of this post.)
While everyone was busy with Phelps mania, I couldn’t help but notice (and, of course, begin swooning over) his teammate and fellow “Frenchie smasher”, Jason Lezak:
Could those freckles on his nose be any cuter?!!
So, what do I think about the women’s volleyball event?
Well, I won’t be watching.
I guess I just think it is poor decision making on the part of the Olympics committee to allow the women to prance around half naked on the beach while the men are in shirts. Ok, so maybe they aren’t prancing or half naked, but I still don’t plan on tuning in to see them bouncing around in bikinis. Sorry, just not happening.
While we are on the subject of boycotting half naked women, another thing I have decided not to watch is the new 90210 series. The reason is this new promo ad I just saw in US Weekly:
And a close up of two of the porn stars:
Now, I’m not a prude, but this just seems like a bit much for a high school drama. Let’s just compare the new 90210 ad with a few ads for the old show:
Notice that the girls on the original series are attractive but not drop dead gorgeous models. Despite the stupid rolled jeans (**see below for rant on this) , at least they are fully clothed and have the bodies of someone who actually eats food at regular intervals.
Again, who makes these advertising decisions? Isn’t the target market group for this show teen girls and 30 something women who were once fans of the old show? When will these idiots learn that women (by women, I mean me) aren’t going to tune in to a show that has girls who look like models?
Aaron Spelling understood what women wanted. He cast girls with average good looks and bodies. Other than Kelly, there was nothing special about the girls on the original show. Brenda had bad bangs and weird teeth. Andrea was just plain geeky. And poor Donna was only on the show because her dad was the creator. None of them looked like strippers or swimsuit models. They were girls we could understand and possibly even root for. Who didn’t want Brenda to end up with Dylan? Or was it Kelly ending up with Dylan? Oh, I don’t remember. That isn’t the point.
The point is that pr/ad people just don’t get it.
Well, at least that is what I thought until I saw the the brilliant new commercial for the Chevrolet Traverse.
I tried to search youtube for the commercial but it hasn’t been uploaded yet. If you haven’t seen it, let me just paint a picture for you:
A very hot looking guy (without a shirt) is ironing a dress while on the phone making reservations for his 6-month anniversary with his wife or girlfriend. Then it flashes to the suv and the voiceover tells how the vehicle is full of features that would be they know will be greatly appreciated. Then it’s back to the guy doing more housework — this time cleaning the toilet (still without a shirt).
When I did a search to find this commercial I found quite a few people who didn’t quite understand the meaning behind it. Check out a few of these responses:
Does anyone “get” the Chevy Traverse commercial playing during the Olympics?Guy ironing,cleaning toilet.. what does this have to do w/a car?
The Chevy Traverse ad is the most obtuse commercial I’ve seen in a long time. What the heck is it about anyway?
I’m loving the Chevy Traverse commercial.. bf didn’t get it at all!
Seriously, we can’t figure out what that commercial is about. What anniversary is it? Is it with a person? Car? Is that really a little girl’s dress or is his wife/gf small? Role reversal commercial? Why?
If you are a woman, you totally understand this commercial. Chevrolet is trying to tell us that they understand what women are looking for in a vehicle (and a man) and the Traverse has all of these features, just as the guy (without the shirt) has all of these features.
Thank you to Chevy for this wonderful commercial that I will happily watch over and over and over again. And if your car comes with that guy who will come and clean my house (without a shirt), then I will be the proud new owner of a Traverse tomorrow.
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*Sidenote #1:
*According to US Weekly, rolled jeans (now called boyfriend jeans) are making a comeback because Katie Holmes was photographed wearing Tom Cruise’s jeans. This just makes no sense on so many levels. First of all, if Katie wore Tom’s jeans, why would she have to roll them. Isn’t she way taller than him. Wouldn’t they be way too short for her.
Secondly, why do we have to bring back stupid fads like this? Just because one celebrity decides to look ridiculous doesn’t mean we all have to follow like sheep.
Ladies, I beg of you. Please do not start doing this. We made the mistake once, but let’s learn from our mistakes and not repeat history. Rolled jeans are idiotic and should be left in the 80’s where they belong.
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**Sidenote #2:
I finally solved the Phelps music mystery.
When asked by The Today Show what music he listens to while preparing to swim, Phelps answered that he listens to the song ”I’m Me” by rapper ‘Lil Wayne.
Not exactly my cup of tea, but hey, whatever works…
Answers, Winners and a Bad Case of PMS
If you are in hurry, you may just want to skip this post because it is a doozy.
Ever since I got back on Monday from the vacation I’ve been feeling out of it. I haven’t been wanting to do much of anything. Everything and everyone is driving me crazy. I’ve been on edge and I just can’t take it anymore.
Today I was doing one of those paid online surveys. They are usually pretty quick and easy, plus you get a few extra bucks for completing them. Well, I guess I’ve never done one when I’ve been in full blown PMS mode because I thought I was going smash my laptop to pieces if they asked me one more stupid question. How many different ways can you describe a bottle of shampoo?
I know what you are thinking. Why didn’t you just close the survey down and not do it if it was so frustrating. Well I kept thinking, oh I’ve gone this far I may as well just finish the damn thing now. Every time I thought it would end it just kept going on and on and on. I was shaking and having a hard time catching my breath by the end because I was so mad.
I went into the bathroom and closed the door and cried. I just felt like I wanted to jump out of my own skin. Have you ever felt that way?
I calmed down and then went and got the phone. I called my wonderful GYN doctor to beg him to write me a prescription for some sort of medication to get me through this time of the month. We had talked about it before, but I was always like, “Oh it isn’t that bad. I can get through it.”
You know what? I can’t get through it anymore. I’m at my wit’s end and I need to not feel this way anymore. I had to leave a message with the nurse (who most likely thought I was crazy) and he will call tomorrow. And hopefully I will never have to feel this way again.
Needless to say, I haven’t been around to many of your blogs lately. I just don’t feel up to it and I hope that you understand. Once I am heavily a little medicated I will probably once again feel like socializing. Until then, I’m sorry.
Let’s move right along to the winners of the giveaways.
Giveaway #1: Starbuck’s Gift Card
Thank you all so much for taking the time to do a little shower curtain shopping for me. There were so many great suggestions that I hadn’t even considered. I have started narrowing them down, but I haven’t decided on one yet. Once I do, I promise that I will let you all know and announce the winner.
Giveaway #2: Disney Gift Card
I read through the Disney entries yesterday and was blown away by all the great little stories you all shared with me about Disney World. It really is such a magical place. On days like today, all I need to do is put on my Magic Kingdom park music cd and it makes me feel at least a little better.
Anyway, thank you to everyone who entered and I really appreciate those of you that blogged about the contest and signed up for my newsletter.
The winner of the Disney Gift Card goes to WaWa (no blog). Congratulations–I’ll be in touch to get your mailing address so I can send you out your card.
Giveaway #3: Barnes and Nobles Gift Card
Surprisingly, there were only a couple of people who guessed the truth to the Fact or Fiction game. I drew names from a hat and the winner of those lucky guessers was Jennifer (again, no blog). Congratulations! I’ll email you to get your mailing address.
Before I reveal the truth, let me also thank you for the great book recommendations. I’m really looking forward to reading a few of those.
Here are the answers to the game:
FACT OR FICTION?
1. One of my favorite fruits is the cantaloupe and one of my least favorites is the pear.
Not true. I think cantaloupes are pretty much disgusting. I do like pears, though.
2. My favorite show is General Hospital. I tivo it and watch it almost every night before going to bed.
I did watch General Hospital back in 90’s when Sonny/Brenda/Jax were having their love triangle. Every once in awhile I will turn it on just to see what is going on with the characters and not much has changed from the last time I watched it. The same is true for Days of Our Lives. The acting is pretty bad for the most part and the storylines are not as entertaining as I remember. So, no this one is not true.
3. If I was given the choice to live in the middle of the city or the middle of the country, I would choose the country.
False. The idea of having a lot of land to take care of just intimidates me. Plus, although I’m not overly friendly with my neighbors, I like knowing that they are there. It is like a security blanket to me.
4. My least favorite household chore is unloading the dishwasher.
Do I love doing it? No, but I can think of about ten other chores that I dislike doing more. The fact is that unloading the dishwasher only takes a few minutes each day to do. Plus, I’m just so thankful to have this wonderful invention at my disposal. The person who invented the dishwasher deserves a Nobel Peace Prize. Brilliant!!
5. If I were to win the lottery, the first place I would go would be England.
Nope. First stop would be New York City to go on a shopping spree. Then we would hop on a plane to Hawaii for a very long vacation.
6. I had open heart surgery as a child.
Total lie! I did have a procedure done to my heart in my twenties, but it was definitely NOT open heart surgery.
7. I have seen every Ryan Gosling movie ever made.
This is where I lose all credibility as being Ryan’s number one stalker. I have to admit that I have missed a couple of his films. I know, isn’t that crazy?!! There are a few really old movie on his imdb page that I haven’t seen yet plus I haven’t watched Slaughter Rule (I just can’t stand football). I feel like I’m letting you guys down by admitting this but it is the truth.
8. I got pregnant with my son on a trip to Vegas.
TRUTH!!!! We were on our last vacation before having kids. It was actually our first time trying to get pregnant. I never thought it would happen so fast, but it did.
9. Jack Johnson is my favorite singer.
Hello! This was an easy one. Anyone who read this post knows it is John Mayer!
10. I wake up everyday around 6:30am. Mornings are my favorite time of the day.
This is such a lie I thought my keyboard was going to catch on fire when I typed it. Just saying I’m not a morning person seems like the understatement of the year. I hate it. Hate it. Hate it.
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This concludes the bloggy giveaway festivities (and the longest post EVER!!). I hope you won a few things.
Speaking of winning, I am the winner of a new blog design from Ruby and Roja Design. I am so excited, but also clueless about what I want. I mean, hello?!!! I can’t even pick out a shower curtain. How am I ever going to decide on something as important as a blog design. Clearly, I need serious help.
An Open Letter to Surefit
Dear Surefit Corporation,
I just wanted to let you know that I am sure that your slipcovers do NOT, in fact, fit my sofa or chair.
See exhibit A:
And here is Exhibit B:
They may be great for someone who does not have monkeys children jumping all over them, but they failed my furniture. Miserably.
Please do not tell me about your rolled up magazine with rubber bands trick. We have an entire year’s worth of Parents Magazine stuffed in there, and as you can clearly see it is not helping the situation.
If I had a penny for every time I had to tuck the damn things back in, I would be able to buy myself (and everyone on my street) a new sofa and chair that requires no tucking of any kind.
I was hoping I would love your slipcovers, but instead I want to cry each and every time I enter my living room.
I just thought you should know. Thank you for your time.
Regards,
Jen
13 Things That Are Really Plucking My Nerves This Week
1. Coke Zero in a two liter bottle. For some random reason, my husband decided to buy a few bottles of two liter Coke Zero in place of our usual fridge-friendly 12 pack. First day–delicious! Next day–flat and yucky. So, now that we are working on our second bottle I’m feeling compelled to consume the whole damn thing so as not to waste the bubbly goodness. 2. Urinary Tract Infections. Maybe if I drank more water instead of the aforementioned Coke Zero, I would not get them as much. But I figure if Coke can clean corrosion from your car battery, it sure as heck should be able to wash away bacteria in my bladder. Doesn’t this seem like a good scientific theory? No, I didn’t think so either.
3. Giving Kids Homework at Vacation Bible School. Seriously??!! Look, I’m not trying to be ungrateful or anything. I know that you all don’t get paid for all the work that is put into what you do. I do appreciate the almost 3 hour break from my kids (not to mention all the cool crafts you are doing with them while at the same time teaching them about God and stuff) but I do think having homework is a bit much. Come on now.
4. My 3 month old computer freezing up. Ok, Mr. Laptop, I know that I’m working on Friday’s Eye Candy and it is just too much hotness for one computer to handle, but you are seriously getting on my nerves.
5. Clutter. This does not need an explanation.
6. Gas Prices. Again no explanation needed. Well, actually I will add one thing to this. Did you hear about the kids who are protesting the gas prices because their parents had to cut something out of the budget to afford to live and they chose cable tv. Having to give up Sponge Bob would drive my kids to take extreme measures too. I find this story funny but also inspiring. Good for them for trying to take a stand! We should all be protesting because this is getting out of hand.
7. Cats who are always begging for my food. See that bowl behind you. The one with all the food in it. That is yours. This chicken soft taco is mine. And you can take your pathetic look and meowing over to the big oil corporations because with the price of gas being so high, I can not afford to give you scraps anymore. Sorry. Maybe you should make up little signs and protest at the gas station like the kids who lost their cable. 8. People burning things. My neighbors behind us are pyromaniacs I think. They are constantly having a bonfire and the smell of the smoke on a nightly basis is enough to drive me mad. I’ve tried calling the police but I guess they are above the law because they just keep doing it.
9. Matt Damon not looking like the Sexiest Man Alive in this picture. I know it is for a movie, but there really should be laws prohibiting this sort of thing:
10. Ben Affleck. He really hasn’t done anything to annoy me this week, but he just always rubs me the wrong way.
11. Moms in skimpy bikinis frolicking around with their toddlers on the beach. My husband, on the other hand, loved this and couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of them. I think he was just waiting patiently for something to pop out.
12. Having to pay for new lenses for my son’s glasses (that I already spent $300 on so they would be supposedly scratch resistant in the first place) Maybe they wouldn’t have gotten scratched at the beach if the aforementioned husband wasn’t so busy looking at the bikini girls and paid more attention to where he put the glasses.
13. Summer TV. Between Celebrity Circus, Wipe Out and I Survived a Japanese Game Show, I’m avoiding the tv altogether. My kids, on the other hand are loving every mind rotting minute of it. What’s plucking your nerves this week?
If you like lists as much as me, head on over to Thursday Thirteen.
Highs and Lows of Our Trip to the Dentist
Low: We were fifteen minutes late for the dentist appointment because I have no time management skills whatsoever.
High: Luckily, they were still able to squeeze us in.
Low: The nasty receptionist made me feel like the worst person in the whole world for being so late. I already felt bad enough so she really didn’t need to rub it in with her dirty looks.
High: The kids didn’t have any cavities! Wooohooo! AND even more importantly, they didn’t scream and flail around like maniacs during their cleanings. I think we may have finally passed the crazy, maniac stage. Hooray!
Low: Both kids will need braces. Not that this was a surprise, but still not looking to spending all that $$$.
High: To celebrate their good behavior, we went to Chuck E. Cheese for lunch. I love Chuck E. Cheese pizza. Yum!
Low: We went to Chuck E. Cheese for lunch. Other than their pizza, I really despise the place. I can’t stand all of the noise and obnoxious kids running around, not to mention that it always seems dirty to me. I also don’t like that they use a rat as their mascot. It just seems like a poor attempt to copy Disney World and they failed. Miserably.
High: There was leftover pizza. I was already looking forward to tomorrow’s lunch. I had them box it up for me.
Low: The kids traded in their 120 tickets for two, lousy pieces of candy. So, not even 1 hour after the dentist made their teeth all nice and shiny, they were back to rotting them all over again.
High: I was able to convince my kids that they really didn’t need to climb through the germ infested jungle gym thingy. I think even they were a little scared of all the noisy, obnoxious kids in the there.
Low: In my mad dash to escape the evil rat’s clutches, I forgot my box of leftover pizza on the table. Booooo.
An Open Letter to Mr. Doritos
Dear Mr. Doritos or The Person In Charge of Flavor Decision-Making at the Frito Lay Corporation,
I just want to take a moment to let you know how much my husband and I have always enjoyed your chips. Over the years, we have consumed way too much of your snacky goodness and have the chub to prove it. I’m especially liking the tangy-flavor-from-heaven that is your Spicy Sweet Chili chip.
I do have one issue that I need to address with you. I would like you to PLEASE STOP making these “mystery flavored” bags. I was willing to let the X13-D slide because they were pretty darn tasty. Who wouldn’t want a chip that tastes like a cheeseburger? This was almost like a little meal in a single bite, kind of what I imagine Wonka’s Ever-Lasting Gobstopper to be like.
However, I am outraged that you tricked my snack-obsessed husband into buying your Quest Doritos. This man will pretty much eat any chip you throw at him, but even he draws the line with these dreadfully horrible bites from Hell.
I mean who in their right mind thought that a chip that tastes like a combination of Pledge dusting spray and Lemon Bars would be a winning flavor?!?! It was just plain confusing. Am I eating a chip or a dessert or a cleaning product? I just don’t know what to make of them.
I’m really disappointed in you, Doritos. I love you, but if you keep trying to trick us with these “Mystery Flavors”, we are going to have to part company.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Daily Mish Mash
P.S. If you want to make up, please come up with a chip that does not have any calories or grams of fat.
P.P.S. Bring back the Cheeseburger chips. They were AWESOME!
P.P.P.S. If you would like to make up some more, send me some free chips. Thanks.
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The Challenge
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Credits
