Miley Stripper Thoughts
On Friday night my kids watched the special “iFight Shelby Marx” episode of iCarly.
I thought it was innocent enough.
That was until all weekend and pretty much every single day since the show aired they’ve been playing “iFight Shelby Marx” rematch.
Ugh.
Kicking, punching, wrestling, pushing, shoving….you name it.
This really does reinforce my thoughts on my kids’ exposure to violence and sex on TV. I try to avoid it at all times because they are still so young (7 and 9) and I really do not see any need for it. Kids truly will emulate what they see their idols doing for better or for worse.
Thankfully, we did not tune in to the Teen Choice awards.
I’m counting my lucky stars that my kids are not Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana fans. They’ve watched the show occasionally but I think her voice annoys them as much as it annoys me because they rarely turn it on. They’d much rather watch iCarly or Drake and Josh.
Miley has come out to defend her pole and she says that it was just something to hold onto while she was on top of the ice cream truck. You know, so she didn’t fall off while she was gyrating dancing.
This may very well be the truth, BUT there was SOME ADULT involved in this choreography that was fully aware that it would LOOK like a damn stripper pole. That is the image that they were trying to convey. I don’t care what Miley says. And I just think that is really irresponsible and pathetic that once again she is being taken advantage of.
Because at the end of the day, she is only sixteen years old. I’m really sorry, but no sixteen year old girl needs to be hanging off of any pole dressed like a stripper. Or posing in a magazine in that type of “Come f%#k me pose.” Maybe it is just me. Maybe I’m a prude, but I just want to know one thing.
WHO IS MAKING THESE DECISIONS FOR THIS CHILD?
And of course this whole Miley-stripper-pole-debachle reminds me of one of my favorite Chris Rock bits of all time. It is timeless advice for all fathers.
(Video Warning: Explicit language. Don’t watch in front of your kids and NSFW.)
Billy Ray, are you listening? Your only job in life is to keep her off the pole!!!
FAIL.
PS I LOVED Dane Cook’s remarks to Vanessa Hudgens too. “Girl, you gots to keep your clothes on.” Priceless.
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Against My Better Judgement
When I was seven I dreamed of owning a pair of Dr. Scholl’s wooden sandals. I also dreamed of having perfectly feathered hair like Farrah and kissing Jack Tripper, but that is a whole other post.
Anyway, I’m sure you remember them.
My mom, the shoe Nazi, absolutely refused to buy me a pair no matter how much I begged her. She said they were dangerous and I would most likely fall and crack my head open the first time I wore them.
(Sidenote: My mom often used the term “crack your head open” as a scare tactic and it worked quite well. I mean the visual of cracking one’s head open is pretty darn frightening for a child after hearing all about the demise of Jack and Jill. I use the phrase now with my own kids and I find it to be very effective.)
I guess the fact I still feel a little bitter about being unable to join in on the wooden clog trend is why I caved at the shoe store the other day when my daughter begged me to let her have a pair of these:
I swore I would never succomb to the Crocs fad, and I guess technically I didn’t since these are actually a copycat version of the original (they are made by Skechers and have jewels on them which completely add to the yuck factor). It still pained me greatly to spend my hard earned money on such hideous shoes.
I just don’t see the appeal. I hear they are very comfortable, but as far as fashion goes they just FAIL miserably.
Even Carlisle Cullen and his adorable non-vampire family are unable to pull off the look without looking ridiculous:
People, if Jennie Garth looks hideous in Crocs, then you know that you will too. It is law.
As I was standing at the checkout line waiting to pay, I nearly started having a panic attack. What was I doing? Why was I buying these horrid, plastic demon shoes for my daughter’s feet? I started suggesting alternative sandal options. She wasn’t budging. She wanted her mock-Crocs and there was no changing her mind. Trust me, I tried every possible argument.
In the end, we brought them home and my daughter loves them. They are the first thing she puts on in the morning and the last thing she takes off before going to bed.
While, I’m still not a fan and I pretty much despise them (not as much as this guy, but definitely a lot) I’m glad to have made her little seven year old shoe dreams come true.
I will say that this morning I saw a shoe that is even uglier than the Croc and that makes me feel just a little bit better about my purchase.
I just want to warn you that these things are really bad.
So if you are eating something, you may not want to view the photo.
Seriously, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Don’t blame me if you are scarred for life.
Last chance to look away.
Ok, if you are sure.
Blech!
In case you’ve never met the newest shoe to give you nightmares, let me introduce you to the Vibram FiveFingers. Even the name is frightening.
Listen up America, I don’t care how “comfortable” these shoes are, please just say no. Do not buy them. Do not wear them. Do not make them a new fad. I am begging you to just DON’T.
Please sign in the comments as a petition that you will boycott these terrible “fivefinger” shoes and while you are at it, let me know how you feel about Crocs. Love them? Hate them? Own them? Burn them?
Trying To Find The Brightside
I’m not typically one of those glass half full kind of people. If something bad happens to me I have a really hard time putting on a happy face and trying to see the good in the situation.
However, I’m really trying to change that and I’m hoping that in 2009 I will be able to be a more positive person. That’s the plan at least.
I got to practice a bit last night when my daughter’s bout with the stomach flu came back in full force all over my room. My first reaction was to find a corner and sit and rock for awhile. I tend to go all Rainman whenever anyone throws up.
My usual tactic for cleaning it up is to bribe my husband with sexual favors and let him handle it. He has a stronger stomach and likes sex so it is a win-win situation. But unfortunately he was already asleep and wasn’t hearing any of it.
Alas, it was all up to me to handle it and after I got my daughter cleaned up and snuggled into bed I set to the task at hand. Instead of crying (like I really wanted to) I tried to find the good in the situation and here is what I came up with:
-I started with the old standby…at least it is only a stomach bug and not something more serious. I am so lucky to have pretty healthy (albeit germy) children.
-The floor really needed to be washed anyway so this just gave me an excuse to finally get those dustbunnies out from under the bed. And look, I found an earring (that hadn’t been puked on-Hooray!) that I had been missing for months:
-Thank God we don’t have carpet. I LOVE hard wood floors.
-These curtains needed to be washed anyway.
-I really didn’t feel like reading that pile of magazines sitting next to my bed. Now I don’t have to feel so guilty throwing them out. As I went through them to see if anything was able to be salvaged and I found a picture that a friend gave me from May of 2006 that had missed her attack (Hooray):
-Of course this reminded me that Love Lives and McGosling still might eventually get back together. A feeling of peace and calm came over me as I considered the possibility of this.
-My room is essentially spring cleaned for the new year now! Wish that I didn’t have to do it at 3:00am but the motivation was there so I just went with it.
-My daughter was puke-free the rest of the night and woke up feeling better.
Of course I am exhausted and am wondering if I will make it to New Year’s. I’m also furiously spraying everything with Lysol and Clorox so that no one else comes down with it.
We had some plans to go to my mom’s to play games and ring in the New Year but I’m trying to wait and see where this stomach thing is going to go. We leave in a few days for our Disney cruise and I’m paranoid that one of us is going to be sick on the ship or my son will get it right before we are leaving and I will be worried about him the entire time we are gone. I really can’t see me being able to look on the brightside if that were to happen so please send positive, healthy vibes our way.
How about you? Any big plans for tonight? Are you a glass half-full or empty person?
Sex and Minivans 101
This post is not about learning to have sex in a minivan.
Ew… that would just be gross. And wrong. How would that even work with all the carseats, goldfish crumbs and other non-sexy related items strewn all over the place?
I don’t know about you but sex in a minivan is not exactly on my list of things I want to do before I die. But maybe there are others out there who have tried and liked it. To those freaks people, I say good for you. Whatever floats your boat!
This post is actually about the School of Sex Education that occurs almost weekly in my minivan.
I’ve gotten the “how does the baby get into the mommy’s belly” and the “how does the baby come out of the mommy’s belly” among a variety of other questions.
For whatever reason, my kids seem to be very curious about things when they are riding in our van. I usually try to answer as briefly as I can and tell them “there’s a scientific explanation for that and I will need a book to explain it in further detail” but they never remember to ask for the book. I have gotten off the hook pretty easily so far.
Note: If they do ask for “the book” I am definitely planning to get one and be completely honest with them. I just have a problem having this kind of talk when I’m operating a moving vehicle. I need to be seated and stationary.
I wasn’t really surprised when I was bombarded by the following conversation yesterday on the way home from school:
My Daughter: Marley and Erin are getting married.
Neighbor Girl: Girls can’t marry other girls.
My daughter: Why?
My son: Because if they did they would go blind.
I nearly wrecked the car at this point. Where on earth did he hear something like that? Is he watching Fox News behind our backs?
Me: No, that isn’t true. Girls will not go blind if they got married.
My son: Then why can’t they get married?
Me: Well, in some states they can get married, just not in Maryland. It isn’t legal here.
My son: So, they would go to jail if they got married?
Me: No, it just wouldn’t be recognized as an actual marriage. I think it would in other states like Hawaii or Connecticut.
My daughter: I’m moving to Connecticut then.
At this point I had the following concerns:
1. Did my daughter just come out?
2. Is gay marriage even legal in Connecticut, but more importantly, why would my daughter want to live in Connecticut instead of Hawaii?
3. Does this mean the Disney World Fairytale Wedding I’ve been planning for her for the past seven years is now off?
Later when we got home, I asked her why she would want to move to Connecticut and she said so that she could marry a girl.
Me: Why would you want to marry a girl? (In my best Seinfeld “not that there’s anything wrong with it” voice so as not to sound overly upset or disappointed.)
Her: I don’t know.
Me: Well, that is your choi…decis…that is fine.
I’m really not sure what to make of this. It could be nothing but I also wouldn’t be surprised if she really did want to marry a girl. There have been other signs.
Actually, there was one just the other day when she brought home her journal from school. It said clear as day:
I Love Gabriela Montez!
Now don’t get me wrong. I think Vanessa Hudgens is a very pretty girl, but come on now! She did see all three of the High School Musical movies so she is fully aware of how cute Troy (Zac Efron) is. I mean, who doesn’t love Troy?
He’s a dreamboat! (I’ve never actually used that word before but I think Zac Efron exudes dreamboatedness. Don’t you?)
I’m a strong believer in the fact that sexuality is what it is. I don’t think it is a choice and I definitely don’t want my kids to feel badly about themselves no matter what orientation they may be.
On the other hand, I still can’t help but worry as a mom. I know we’ve made a lot of progress in the area of gay rights, but obviously not enough. It would still be a difficult lifestyle to live and I’m sure she would have her share of struggles.
Only time will tell. Either way, I plan to be completely supportive.
Even if it means that I will have to give up this dream:
Sniff, sniff.
My Christmas Home Tour
When I saw Boomama was doing a Christmas Tour of Homes and Thrifty Decor Chick was doing her O’ Christmas Tree Party, I thought it might be fun to participate.
So once you finish up here, don’t forget to stop by and see the other homes and trees on parade:
Let’s get started outside.
I took this picture last weekend when it was snowing. I hope you appreciate the fact that I stood outside in the freezing weather to get a more “seasonal” picture.
Brrr…it is cold. That’s enough of that. Let’s go inside to warm up.
As you come up to the front door (that really needs to be painted) Mr. Snowman welcomes you!
We decorate, but we keep things pretty simple. I can only take so much decking before I feel overwhelmed by the clutter and want to run from the house screaming.
Here’s the infamous over-priced Christmas tree (looking a bit droopy because I may have forgotten to water it–oops):
We let the kids put most of the ornaments up (because we are lazy) so most are low and there are a lot of clusters and gaps. Oh well, it really doesn’t matter. Christmas is supposed to be about the kids anyway, right? (i.e. We’re too lazy to fix it).
Our tree is a mix of ornaments that we’ve collected over the years. I thought I’d highlight a few of my favorites:
We bought this one when we were in Disney World last December. I’d love to be there right now (or anywhere warm really), but I’ll just settle for looking at Santa Mickey hanging on my tree.
While we are on the subject of Disney, here is the Tinkerbell ornament that we made a few years ago. It was a surprisingly easy craft project. We try to make a new ornament each year as a family and give some out as gifts:
Some other favorites include the ones my kids made for me in school:
And this this one made by one of my best friends:
I just love snowmen and I love that every time I pull it out I am reminded of our friendship.
Here is one of my favorite random ornaments:
This one cracks me up because we have an orange (boy) cat who is a cross-dresser. Yes, it is true. We often find him up in my daughter’s room with a feather boa wrapped around his body. Don’t believe me? Here’s the proof:
Alright, back to the tree.
When we decorated the tree this year, I was in a grouchy mood because my husband had done one too many things that day to annoy me so I put our “First Christmas” ornament all the way toward the back of the tree toward the bottom. I’m feeling a little guilty about that now, so I guess I should be nice and move it to a more prominent position on the tree:
Speaking of my husband, here is a little tea set that my aunt bought us that I’ve always loved putting out:
Yes, we are a “Brad and Jen” which of course used to be cool before stupid Angelina went and ruined everything.
Moving right along…here is where we keep our Christmas cards:
And last, but most definitely not least, here is our Nativity:
You may have noticed that there is no baby Jesus in the manger. We wait until Christmas morning to put him out. We’ve been doing this for a couple of years now and I think it is a really nice tradition. Now that the kids are old enough, we are planning to hide him the night before and have the kids pretend to be Wisemen and look all over the house for him. Not only does this reinforce the real meaning of Christmas, but it also gives us a little extra time to sleep in.
Now, I hope you’ll stay for a snack. I made a Chocolate Chip Cheese Ball especially for all my bloggy friends.
(That’s a lie-I made it for our neighborhood Christmas party last weekend and took a picture of it. Everyone seemed to like it, but really I have no idea if they were just saying it to be nice or if they actually thought it was good. I had way too much wine to know the difference. Either way, it was really easy to make so I thought I’d share the recipe.) Enjoy!
Click here for the recipe.
Thanks for stopping by. I hope you enjoyed the tour. If you like touring homes, make sure you swing by Boomama’s and Thrifty Decor Chick’s place.
Our Top 10 Toys List
Am I the only one who cringes the first time they hear a Christmas song?
I especially can’t stand “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” because whoever wrote that song is a big, fat liar. It is not the most wonderful time of the year. It is a cold, hectic, and stressful time of year.
I must sound like a total scrooge. Well, I’m not. There are some things about the holidays that I like. Here is my list:
1. Baking Christmas cookies
2. Eating Christmas cookies
3. Spending time with family while eating Christmas cookies
Here are the things I dislike about the holidays:
1. Pretty much everything else that doesn’t involve cookies.
That just about sums it up.
I hate shopping. I hate making decisions. I hate jolly music about shopping and making decisions. Thus, my general disdain for the holiday season.
One of the biggest headaches is deciding what to get the kids. Now my kids are old enough to write out their own gift lists, but there are a few problems with this.
Problem #1: My son is obsessed with video games. So pretty much all I’ve heard about the past six months is the Wii. He’s all Wii this. Wii that. Wii, wii, wii…all the way home. But instead of home, it is to the poor house. Have you seen how much those damn things cost? This little piggy is not happy about having to shell out that much money for a stupid video game system. (But we still did just to see the look on his face on Christmas morning because we are suckers.)
Problem #2: They fill the rest of the list with whatever they see on the commercial breaks between Sponge Bob and iCarly episodes. And we all know how that nightmare ends. Do I even need to remind you of Moonsand:
I shudder just to look at that picture.
Problem #3: Finally, they start listing the really random things that they will never get like a tv in their room or a dog. We may be suckers but there is a line and I draw it with the thought of my kids watching unrestricted awfulness and having to take out a drooly, shedding, whiny beast at six in the morning. Um, sorry, but that is just not going to happen.
So, it is up to me to fill in the gaps with gifts that I think they will like that they really hadn’t even thought of yet. So I pour over the Toys R Us and Target toy book looking at the latest and greatest toys. I’ll read through review after review on Amazon trying to figure out the answer to the all important question:
Will my child actually play with this toy for more than 5 minutes?
Most of the time, the answer has been no. I can’t tell you how many toys just end up at the bottom of the toy box or stuffed deep in the closet, never to be played again.
Or worse yet, the ones that win all the toy awards but are actually a piece of crap and break a week later.
That would be these:
Whatever you do, do NOT purchase the Bump n Chuck Radio Control Bumper Cars. They are the worst. They seem like a great idea in theory. The idea is to drive your car around and try to hit the other car head on or side swipe the vehicle to try to push the button on the side of the car and eject your opponent’s driver, but when the little plastic piece that holds the guy in stops holding the guy in, there really is no point to them anymore. Trust me when I say that you want to avoid Bump n Chuck.
There have been a few exceptions. And it is these toys that I’d like to give some special recognition.
Here is a list of the Top Ten Toys in Our House:
1. Webkinz: You can never have too many. Well actually you can because we do. I do have to say that my kids are constantly playing with them so I really don’t mind it that much. They play with them on the computer but more than that they are pretending with them. Just yesterday, they were playing “Animal School” and they also play “Animal Baseball” and “Animal Hospital”. You can’t go wrong with the Webkinz.
2. ChalkBoard / Easel: This is great for playing school, painting, etc…
3. Apples to Apples Kids: If your child is reading (even just a beginner) this is such a fun game for the whole family.
4. Silly Six Pins: My kids got this when they were toddlers and it is still a favorite. I love games that get kids moving.
5. Nintendo DS: This is a favorite of both my kids. The best part about this video game option is that you take it with you. I’m not a big fan of video games but if you allow your kids to play them, then I really recommend this one.
6. Magic Kingdom Game: This game is great for the Disney World fanatic. The idea is to tour the Magic Kingdom and see all the attractions on your list. The first one to the park gates is the winner. This is a favorite for family game night.
7. Disney Bingo: This is a dvd game and another great way to get your Disney fix. All my kids’ friends ask for it when they come over for a playdate. This is one of those games that you can buy for a preschool age child and get many years of fun out of it.
8. Hyper Dash: We got this last year for Christmas and the kids have really enjoyed it. It is another game that gets them moving and is a lot of fun.
9. Bratz Microphone: I’m not a big fan of the Bratz merchandise but this microphone has provided hours of entertainment for my daughter and her girlfriends. They love to put on shows with it. All you need is a radio that can be tuned to FM.
10. Hot Wheels Rollup Raceway Track: I’ve bought lots of racetrack type sets for my son and I have to say this is my favorite so far. It is really simple. You unroll the track, put two cars into the slots, eject them and see who gets to the finish line first (a little flag pops up to tell you the winner). It doesn’t do anything special (no dinosaurs that shoot cars out of the mouth) but it has been a really fun toy for both kids.
Here are all the toys in this handy dandy Amazon carousel:
Now, it’s your turn. I am asking for your help because there are only like 28 more shopping days before Christmas. Please tell me:
What are your kids’ favorite toys?
Leave me a comment and let me know or make up your own list. If you do, please leave the link in the comments section so I can come see it. Have I mentioned that there are only 28 shopping days left? YIKES!!!
Never Be Too Thin
There has been a lot of talk about the media’s influence on our little girls and the way they see themselves. Are the images of the super skinny models that they are bombarded with on a daily basis in magazines and tv giving our girls unrrealistic expectations?
The answer is yes, but I can’t help but wonder if this is really anything new.
When I was young I wanted to look like the girl’s from Three’s Company.
Not exactly the role models you would want your daughter to emulate but my parents really didn’t restrict my TV viewing very much.
As I got older, I actually started watching classic tv and movies. I still idolized the thin, beautiful stars and wanted to look like them.
First there was Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island:
And then I saw Gone With The Wind and wanted to have Scarlett O’Hara’s 17 inch waist:
I don’t remember as many Keira Knightleys walking around looking like skeletons when I was growing up:
Yet, I still wanted to be thin.
I remember thinking that I was too fat when I weighed 125 pounds in high school. Oh what I would give to be that weight again.
It is almost as ridiculous as Eva Longoria thinking that she needs to wear Spanx:
Lately the big controversy has been the super-scary skinny girl from the new 90210 (Jessica Stroup) who makes even Keira look curvy:
When I became a mother, I made a conscious effort to never talk about dieting or losing weight in front of my kids. I’ve always tried to point out that it is about being healthy and the most important thing is what’s on the inside.
We don’t even really use the word “fat” in our house very often. In fact, we call the cat “pleasantly plump” when everyone knows he is actually ridiculously obese.
That is why the conversation that I had with my daughter last night came as a huge shock to me:
It went something like this:
Her: I need to start working out.
Me: Why do you say that?
Her: Because I’m too heavy.
Me: What?! Why would you say that?!
Her: Well, I weigh 50 pounds and Katie only weighs 40 pounds.
Me: Are you serious? You can’t be serious.
But she was serious. She is seven years old and already worried about her weight. She’s already comparing herself to her friends. For the record, she is perfectly proportional for her height and weight and her friend is the one who really isn’t a healthy size for her age.
We had a nice little conversation about the benefits of good exercise and I stressed the fact that she is growing and did NOT need to lose weight at all.
I tried to point out how strong and healthy she was by being able to cross the monkey bars on her own and that if she lost weight she probably wouldn’t be able to do that anymore:
I tried to not make a big deal about it but inside I was crying.
I just can’t believe that she is already worrying about the number on the scale. I thought we had a few more years to go before this started.
Seriously, how did this happen?
Do I blame the media? Do I blame Hannah/Miley?
Or do I blame myself? Did I somehow unknowingly pass my own idiotic body image issues down to my daughter?
I can’t help but also wonder if this is just part of being a girl, that we are born with a gene that make us feel like we will never be ok with how we look. I’m starting to think that we are all part of the collective female consciousness that is doomed to always believe that we can be thinner, prettier, better.
What do you think? Who were your influences growing up? Do you hold them responsible for the way you see yourself now? Is this feeling of never being satisfied with ourselves nature, nurture or both?
The Scarlet Pumpkin
One of the hardest things about parenting is finding the balance between protecting our kids without smothering them and teaching them the ways of the world with out scaring them too much in the process.
My daughter went to her first sleepover this past weekend. It was actually the first time that she has stayed overnight at someone other than a relative’s house before. As much as we trust the little girl’s family, there was still a bit of apprehension over her being away from home. All night. In someone else’s house. Without us.
I’m not usually a worrier, but I couldn’t help but make up scenarios in my mind that were very unsettling.
It probably goes back to a childhood memory that I had at my first sleepover. It was at our next-door neighbor’s house. The girl’s dad asked me to sit on his lap and started whispering things in my ear, telling me how pretty I was and how I was his favorite.
Ugh. I can still remember how creeped out I felt. Even though I was only 7 or 8 years old, I knew that this man was crossing a boundary that shouldn’t be crossed.
Luckily, that was as far as it went, but I have no doubt that if given the opportunity that this man would have done other things.
(Oh and did I mention that the creep worked at a toy store. I’m sure that wasn’t on purpose or anything. Yeah, right.)
The point of the story is that I didn’t say anything to my parents about it even though it made me feel very uncomfortable. I actually just told my mom about it the other day and she was horrified.
I began to wonder about my own kids. Have I kept the lines of communications about this sort of thing open enough? Would they feel comfortable talking to me or their dad about this sort of thing? How well do we really know this family?
By the time the day of the sleepover arrived, I knew that the only thing that was going to make me feel better was to have a talk with her about some important things.
We’ve had this talk before, so it was more of a refresher course and as much as I know how important it is to have this conversation with both kids, it is still not an easy topic to discuss. I feel like I’m taking away a part of their innocence by bringing this up. I wish that I didn’t even have to put these ideas in their heads. I wish they didn’t have to know that there are people in the world who do things to hurt children.
Even though I tried my best to keep the conversation light, I could still see the fear in my daughter’s eyes and that made me feel so sad. I felt like I said too much but at the same time I felt like I didn’t say enough. I just wish I could find the perfect words that could protect them from this ever happening.
Unfortunately, there are no guarantees. No matter what we do to try to protect our kids, things can still happen and that is the sad truth.
While we are on this topic, take a look at this sign:
In Maryland convicted violent and child-sex offenders will be required to display one of these signs on their front door on Halloween or they will face a parole violation. In addition to posting the sign, they have been instructed to stay at home, turn off outside lights and not answer the door.
Some are applauding the efforts to keep children safe while others are calling it the Scarlet Letter of sex offenders and possibly a violation of Constitutional rights.
I have mixed feelings about the signs.
Of course my first and most important priority is to protect my children. I want them to be safe at all costs and if the pumpkin signs would prevent even one child from becoming a victim then I guess it is worth it.
However, there is just a part of me that doesn’t feel right about the signs. While I’m not trying to defend or take sides with a sex offender, I do think this is a bit cruel to those who are really trying to change and do better. Couldn’t they just be required to do the whole turn of the lights and not answer the door part.
Should we require convicted drug addicts/dealers to display a similar sign? What about people who have been convicted of any violent crime? Aren’t they a danger as well? Where does it end?
What do you think? Are the signs a great idea or taking it too far? Do you have any good advice/books to recommend that you use for talking to kids about this subject?
Not Meant To Be
Have you ever really wanted to like something but after several failed attempts, you realize that maybe it just isn’t meant to be.
Yesterday, we decided to spend the afternoon at the Renaissance Festival. As I mentioned in this post, I have only been once before and to say that I didn’t have the best time would be a big understatement.
Sadly, I have to say that history, once again, repeated itself.
I thought I’d sum up the day with a couple of brief quizzes:
What do you think scared my son the most at the festival?
Was it:
The correct answer is C. Slide of Doom (not really its name, of course.)
Are you surprised? If you are thinking to yourself that the mime looked much more menacing then you would be right.
For some strange reason, my almost 9 year old son thought he was going to plunge to his death on this slide. After a lot of convincing, he finally felt brave enough to attempt it.
Well, about halfway down, he changed his mind and proceeded to try to turn himself around and climb back up the slide. Gravity won out and he came down anyway. Backwards. By the time he reached the bottom of the slide he was completely inconsolable.
It was a very bad scene.
Let’s just say the rest of the day was pretty much a disaster because of this one unfortunate event.
How about another quiz?
What do you think was my husband’s favorite part of the Renaissance festival?
Was it:
A. The large variety of meat on sticks.
B. The large variety of boobs in corsets
C. All of the above.
If you chose C. All of the above, you would be correct.
Last quiz.
True or False. No matter how much you have to go, you do not want to use the bathroom at the Renaissance festival.
If you answered True, then you would be correct.
I get the idea of wanting to try to create a 16th century English village experience. I just wish they would have sacrificed a bit of the authenticity in the bathroom department.
Don’t be fooled by the fancy name.
Spending $16 a person and having to pee on top of everyone else’s pee is where I have to draw the line. It’s 2008 people!!
I think this is where the Renn Fest and I have to part ways. I guess we just weren’t meant to be.
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I’m taking a pass on the Looking Fine by 2009 check-in today. I had a really bad week of ZERO exercise, tons of snacking and I refuse to step on the scale on my birthday to see the results. Sorry. I’ll be back next week with the regularly scheduled torture. If you wrote up a post, feel free to leave your link in the comments.
Let Us Rejoice
If you listen closely, you can hear it.
It is the sound of mothers all over the world (or at least my town) collectively whooping it up.
This is the day the Lord has made and also when most of the kids go back to school in my town. Let us rejoice and be glad.
It isn’t that I don’t love my children. I do. It is just a fact of life that they tend to be a tad bit annoying sometimes. All the fighting and tattling and whining just got to be a bit too much by about the end of the summer. If we’re being completely honest it was more like the end of June.
I’m not going to lie. I was relishing the peace and quiet that surrounded me today.
Silence is golden. Especially after a summer full of whining.
A vert wise man once said:
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
~Edgar W. Howe (A Wise Man)
It is at this time that I’d like to commend all the homeschooling parents out there. You are all saints. Or super heroes. Your super-human power must be endless patience, because I just know that I couldn’t do it. Of course I would if I had to, but I doubt that I would last more than a few weeks days hours before needing to be shipped off to the asylum mentioned above.
Sidenote: Do asylums still exist? I hope not. They sound kind of scary.
Since you all know how much I love my Grease 2, you won’t be surprised to know that I did a little celebration dance around the house to this song:
On a somewhat related note, I think that I really do need some psychological help (not necessarily an asylum, but something). I have taken procrastination to a whole new level. I have had the kids’ school supplies for weeks, but for some reason, I decided that 1am last night woud be a good time to start labeling them. What is wrong with me?
Needless to say, I did not get to bed at a reasonable time and therefore was absolutely miserable all day. Of course I didn’t exercise (other than the obligatory back to school celebration dance) and was super hungry all day. I have read that when you don’t get enough sleep that you feel more hungry the next day. I’m really thinking the sleep thing could be a big factor in my weight gain. I wonder if it works in reverse. Will I lose weight if I get more sleep or just stop gaining?
Anyway, I was really excited to read so many of you are interested in participating in the challenge. If you have done a post telling about your intention to join in, leave me a comment with a link. I was thinking of putting your links in my sidebar.
Ok, I’m off to bed at a reasonable time. If the earth stops spinning or my husband goes into shock, I’m to blame me. This is completely unprecedented.
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