I Guess I Shall Be Executed
I know this is a hot topic and I’m really not trying to stir the pot intentionally, but this sign really spoke to me and I couldn’t resist posting it here.
So many people use the bible as their argument against gay marriage. I love that this person is fighting fire (and brimstone) with fire (and brimstone).
Ok, so if you haven’t figured out which side of the debate that I fall on, I’ll lay it right out on the table:
I fully support gay marriage and do not think it should even be an issue.
I have tried to have conversations with people in my life who are against it, but the only thing they seem to be able to offer as a their explanation for believing what they believe is because of the bible/Bible (Is that word capitalized since it is holy? Wait, is holy/Holy supposed to be capitalized too since it is holy/Holy? This is why I don’t usually write about religion. I’m just going to capitalize everything pertaining to God from here on out to play it safe.)
If gay marriage is not okay because of something written in the Bible, then we need to reevaluate the validity of most marriages in America today.
And kill off all the whores.
Which I guess would include me since I didn’t wait until I was married.
(Was that TMI?)
Darn. Execution doesn’t sound very fun. (If we get a choice, I choose poison.)
I’m not saying pre-marital sex is right, but you know it is happening everywhere (except the Jonas Brothers compound).
Most men today would probably have more luck finding a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow than they would finding a virgin bride.
(Unless, of course we go back to marrying our daughters off at fourteen to keep them virgins as they did in the Bible, but do we really want that? Actually maybe that isn’t such a bad idea after all. They get to have sex and parents get to skip the whole spending a fortune on college tuition nonsense. Seems like a win-win proposition to me but what do I know. Of course, that is a whole other topic to explore at a later date.)
There are probably people who read my blog that might be offended by this, but I just feel compelled to put it out there. I want to hear the other side of this argument. I really want to know why so many people are against two people who are in love getting married.
I can’t remember where I read (maybe Meg’s blog??) or heard this funny retort but I totally agree:
If gay people want to be unhappily married like the rest of us, who are we to take that right away from them?
Please let me know which side of the debate you are on. I will not judge you for your opinion. I try to watch Fox News at least once a day to get a good laugh keep an open mind about things so that says something about my tolerance, right?
I just want to try to understand the other side. I truly want to hear your thoughts.
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Just Call Me Grim
Life lesson #689: When your sinister friend who clearly has no conscience whatsoever tries to recruit you into her “just for fun” Celebrity Death Pool league–JUST SAY NO!!
Otherwise, you may end up feeling like the Grim Reaper before all is said and done.
I made the mistake of getting talked into this horrible, morbid game despite the fact that it went against my better judgement and general moral code.
In my defense, I figured that it would be an easy win since I’m pretty good at all things pop culture.
Well, it turns out that I was right. I am killing (and I mean this both literally and figuratively) everyone else in the league with my picks.
What I didn’t realize is that I would feel HORRIBLE every time I got the news that a new celeb from my list died. I also didn’t think that so many of them would be going. Who knew that 2009 was going to be such an unlucky year to be famous?
Just about everyone had Patrick Swayze on their list. It is not a shock that he lost his battle with cancer. It is still so very sad to hear of his passing. He seemed like a genuinely good man who shouldn’t have died so young.
My heart goes out to his family, but especially his wife because everything I’ve ever read about them made them sound like a great couple.
Did you know they met when he was only 19 and she was 15? I love that. And I love this photo of them together because it reminds me of the The Notebook. So sweet.
I teared up when I read this quote from Barbara Walters:
“The way he looked at her, the way he held on to her, the way she smiled, I can’t really imagine one without the other. That marriage is extraordinary.“
What was your favorite Patrick Swayze movie?
Questions, Questions and More Questions
The universe is full of many mysteries.
You have Stonehenge.
You have the Great Pyramids of Egypt.
And then you have the celebrities.
Here are a few of the questions I’ve been pondering today. Hopefully you will be able to help me with the answers.
What book is Ryan Gosling carrying?
Does anyone recognize this cover?????? Is anyone able to CSI it so I can get it from my library before Ryan and I meet for naked book club?
And while we are on the subject of Ryan, how does one man look so good in a pair of jeans?
But more importantly, WHO’S THAT GIRL????????????????
Is this a potential new girlfriend? If so, I think I might approve. Maybe.
Moving on from the mysteries of Ryan Gosling……..
How is Jennifer Aniston still single?
Do her feet smell? Does she have bad breath? What is the problem?
Why is Jennifer Love Hewitt playing tennis in a bikini and wedge sandals?
In other words, has she gone and lost her mind?
Speaking of bikinis, how in the heck does Jennifer Lopez look that good in a bikini after giving birth to twins?
Why hasn’t someone made wearing a bikini after you become a mom a crime? Forget health care reform, let’s get on the anti-mom-bikini legislation immediately. All these hot mamas are putting way too much pressure on the rest of us?
Why is Paula Abdul not returning to Idol? Seriously, whyyyyyyyyyyy?
[This is how I felt after hearing the news.]
What is the point of watching Idol anymore? Why not just cancel the whole damn show?
How am I supposed to go on after hearing this news? I loved Paula!!
If anyone has answers (especially if you can tell me what book Ryan is carrying) feel free to leave them in the comments.
Guess The Crush
I’ve updated my Daily Crush page and I thought it might be fun to play a little guessing game.
Here is the arm of my latest celebrity crush:
Without peeking, make a guess in the comments as to who you think this arm belongs to.
Then click the lips to see if you are correct.
Time Warp
Does anyone else feel like we are in some sort of time warp?
My personal theory is that Ben from LOST turned the big wheel again and before you know it the sky is going to light up and my nose is going to start bleeding, but maybe I’ve just been watching too much LOST lately.
Every time I turn on the news, there seems to be a story that begs me to ask the question-
What year is it anyway?
First there is the Somalia pirates.
Now don’t get me wrong. This is a serious situation and shouldn’t be taken lightly, but does anyone else feel like we must be in the year 1699 if these guys are a threat to a giant American warship? Seriously, pirates? How is this even happening??
While we are on the subject, can I just make one, tiny suggestion to the guys on the boats. If you are going to break out into pirate routine, at least do us a favor and try to jazz up the look a little bit with a few accessories.
I’m thinking something a bit more like this:
Oh and while you are at it, “pirates”, maybe let’s try to do a little less pillaging of ships that are actually trying to bring humanitarian aid to the starving children of your continent. This just makes you seem totally uncool and there is no way that Johnny Depp will ever want to play you in a movie in the future. You may want to keep that in the back of your mind before you plan your next attack.
Speaking of uncool, I don’t know about anyone else but when I was learning about the Boston tea party it seemed a lot more revolutionary than this:
It appears these “concerned” citizens are trying to protest tea. Or maybe it is taxes on tea? Oh, I just read that it is just taxes in general. Um, yeah…I think that is pretty much a lost cause, but at least they tried to go all out with their costumes.
On a positive note, the time warp brought about at least one positive turn of events recently.
It seems as though Drew Barrymore must have been transported back in time and brought this fabulous look from the twenties back with her.
Wow! I am totally loving it! What do you think of Drew’s vintage look?
But wait, there’s more Drew time travel goodness.
It seems as though she must have also stopped off in the year 2007 because look who has decided to rekindle their romance:
Drew and Justin Long make an adorable couple. Don’t you agree?
That gives me a great idea.
Hey Ben, can you please turn that wheel back about 4 years?
Trying To Find The Brightside
I’m not typically one of those glass half full kind of people. If something bad happens to me I have a really hard time putting on a happy face and trying to see the good in the situation.
However, I’m really trying to change that and I’m hoping that in 2009 I will be able to be a more positive person. That’s the plan at least.
I got to practice a bit last night when my daughter’s bout with the stomach flu came back in full force all over my room. My first reaction was to find a corner and sit and rock for awhile. I tend to go all Rainman whenever anyone throws up.
My usual tactic for cleaning it up is to bribe my husband with sexual favors and let him handle it. He has a stronger stomach and likes sex so it is a win-win situation. But unfortunately he was already asleep and wasn’t hearing any of it.
Alas, it was all up to me to handle it and after I got my daughter cleaned up and snuggled into bed I set to the task at hand. Instead of crying (like I really wanted to) I tried to find the good in the situation and here is what I came up with:
-I started with the old standby…at least it is only a stomach bug and not something more serious. I am so lucky to have pretty healthy (albeit germy) children.
-The floor really needed to be washed anyway so this just gave me an excuse to finally get those dustbunnies out from under the bed. And look, I found an earring (that hadn’t been puked on-Hooray!) that I had been missing for months:
-Thank God we don’t have carpet. I LOVE hard wood floors.
-These curtains needed to be washed anyway.
-I really didn’t feel like reading that pile of magazines sitting next to my bed. Now I don’t have to feel so guilty throwing them out. As I went through them to see if anything was able to be salvaged and I found a picture that a friend gave me from May of 2006 that had missed her attack (Hooray):
-Of course this reminded me that Love Lives and McGosling still might eventually get back together. A feeling of peace and calm came over me as I considered the possibility of this.
-My room is essentially spring cleaned for the new year now! Wish that I didn’t have to do it at 3:00am but the motivation was there so I just went with it.
-My daughter was puke-free the rest of the night and woke up feeling better.
Of course I am exhausted and am wondering if I will make it to New Year’s. I’m also furiously spraying everything with Lysol and Clorox so that no one else comes down with it.
We had some plans to go to my mom’s to play games and ring in the New Year but I’m trying to wait and see where this stomach thing is going to go. We leave in a few days for our Disney cruise and I’m paranoid that one of us is going to be sick on the ship or my son will get it right before we are leaving and I will be worried about him the entire time we are gone. I really can’t see me being able to look on the brightside if that were to happen so please send positive, healthy vibes our way.
How about you? Any big plans for tonight? Are you a glass half-full or empty person?
Career Aspirations
This song keeps playing in my mind.
The pressure is on.
I told myself that I would go back to work full-time this fall. As in September or October; November at the latest.
Well, fall is just about over, and I’m no closer to finding a job. (I haven’t actually started looking.) I’ve decided to set a new deadline for myself for February 1, 2009. I will be have a new career by this date come hell or high water!
And I don’t want to hear about that pesky recession. Everyone I tell my plans to laugh at me because the job market is so bad right now. They tell me no one is hiring. Well, that recession better just think again if even thinks about trying to interfere with my plans of being employed again.
I have a lot of emotions about this decision. One minute I’m scared, the next I’m excited. Then I start to feel overwhelmed by the whole job hunting process, as well as trying to figure out how I will swing things when the kids have off of school for snow or sick days.
As terrified as I may be, I know that it is time for a change. I’m ready to get back out there and contribute to society again.
I want to be like Melanie Griffith in Working Girl, but without the big hair and shoulder pads.
The problem is that I have no idea where I would want to contribute.
Before I had kids, I was a fourth grade teacher. My original plan was to go back to teaching after my kids were in school all day. The thought of doing that now just doesn’t appeal to me anymore. I may go back one day, but I’m not ready to take on the challenge of full-time teaching again just yet.
When I start to think about what else I could do for a living, I often find myself thinking of the things I don’t want to do. Then I start thinking of this scene from Say Anything:
Here is what I would add to Lloyd Dobler’s list:
- I don’t want to teach anything
- I don’t want to plan anything
- I don’t want to count anything
- I don’t want to organize anything
- I don’t want to clean anything
Ok, so what is left?
I have a degree in Elementary Education, four years of teaching experience, and eight years of domestic engineering/ parenting experience. What am I qualified for that doesn’t involve people shorter than me? I just need a break from kids.
Please, someone help me figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Oh, and kickboxing is NOT an option.
I’m thinking about getting this book.
Have you read it? Did it help?
I can’t believe I’m 34 years old and still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. Please tell me that I’m not the only one.
Are you doing your dream job? If not, what is it? What are your career aspirations?
Never Be Too Thin
There has been a lot of talk about the media’s influence on our little girls and the way they see themselves. Are the images of the super skinny models that they are bombarded with on a daily basis in magazines and tv giving our girls unrrealistic expectations?
The answer is yes, but I can’t help but wonder if this is really anything new.
When I was young I wanted to look like the girl’s from Three’s Company.
Not exactly the role models you would want your daughter to emulate but my parents really didn’t restrict my TV viewing very much.
As I got older, I actually started watching classic tv and movies. I still idolized the thin, beautiful stars and wanted to look like them.
First there was Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island:
And then I saw Gone With The Wind and wanted to have Scarlett O’Hara’s 17 inch waist:
I don’t remember as many Keira Knightleys walking around looking like skeletons when I was growing up:
Yet, I still wanted to be thin.
I remember thinking that I was too fat when I weighed 125 pounds in high school. Oh what I would give to be that weight again.
It is almost as ridiculous as Eva Longoria thinking that she needs to wear Spanx:
Lately the big controversy has been the super-scary skinny girl from the new 90210 (Jessica Stroup) who makes even Keira look curvy:
When I became a mother, I made a conscious effort to never talk about dieting or losing weight in front of my kids. I’ve always tried to point out that it is about being healthy and the most important thing is what’s on the inside.
We don’t even really use the word “fat” in our house very often. In fact, we call the cat “pleasantly plump” when everyone knows he is actually ridiculously obese.
That is why the conversation that I had with my daughter last night came as a huge shock to me:
It went something like this:
Her: I need to start working out.
Me: Why do you say that?
Her: Because I’m too heavy.
Me: What?! Why would you say that?!
Her: Well, I weigh 50 pounds and Katie only weighs 40 pounds.
Me: Are you serious? You can’t be serious.
But she was serious. She is seven years old and already worried about her weight. She’s already comparing herself to her friends. For the record, she is perfectly proportional for her height and weight and her friend is the one who really isn’t a healthy size for her age.
We had a nice little conversation about the benefits of good exercise and I stressed the fact that she is growing and did NOT need to lose weight at all.
I tried to point out how strong and healthy she was by being able to cross the monkey bars on her own and that if she lost weight she probably wouldn’t be able to do that anymore:
I tried to not make a big deal about it but inside I was crying.
I just can’t believe that she is already worrying about the number on the scale. I thought we had a few more years to go before this started.
Seriously, how did this happen?
Do I blame the media? Do I blame Hannah/Miley?
Or do I blame myself? Did I somehow unknowingly pass my own idiotic body image issues down to my daughter?
I can’t help but also wonder if this is just part of being a girl, that we are born with a gene that make us feel like we will never be ok with how we look. I’m starting to think that we are all part of the collective female consciousness that is doomed to always believe that we can be thinner, prettier, better.
What do you think? Who were your influences growing up? Do you hold them responsible for the way you see yourself now? Is this feeling of never being satisfied with ourselves nature, nurture or both?
Sympathy For The Devil
A few days ago I wrote about how many of my friends’ husbands were angry with me for introducing their wives to Twilight.
I have to admit that my husband is not one of them. In fact, I think he would like to join the Stephenie Meyers Fan Club.
Although he hasn’t actually read one word of the saga, he is very supportive of my addiction. Just the other night he ran all over town looking for the Entertainment Weekly magazine featuring the cast of the movie. He couldn’t find it but came home with this magazine:
Now, before you say “awww” and start thinking he is so romantic, I must stop you.
While it was very sweet, I truly believe that he has purely selfish reasons for being so supportive.
I think he enjoys the “effects” these books have on me and the “fringe benefits” that have come from reading me them. I’ve heard them referred to as “girly porn” and I think that might be a good comparison.
I’ve been thinking about this for the past couple of days and I think it all comes down to how different men are from women.
Women are very complex creatures.
And the more I think about it, the more sorry I feel for guys. It isn’t easy to figure out the female control panel.
Men are simple. It doesn’t take much to turn them on.
Oh you don’t believe me. Then how do you explain these:
Girls Gone Wild
Featuring…
Sleazy Girls: Willing to take their tops off in various locations while jumping up and down and yelling “Wooo” for a random stranger holding a video camera.
Don’t get me wrong. I still think these videos are the WORST! However, I have to say that I feel a bit lucky that we have it so easy.
The only talent these girls seem to have is taking off their clothes. That’s it.
If that is all there is to it, then why isn’t there a “Guys Gone Wild” featuring men in trench coats flashing women? Well, for one, that sounds very distubing. Also that isn’t really what a woman is looking for in a guy?
So what is it that women want from a man? I look to my favorite (and soon to be favorite) chick flicks for the answer.
Exhibit A: The Notebook
Featuring…
Noah Calhoun: Boy from the wrong side of the tracks; great dancer; likes to read poetry, row boats, write love letters and kiss in the rain. Did I happen to mention that he can build houses with his bare hands?
Exhibit B: Titanic
Featuring:
Jack Dawson: Boy from the wrong side of the tracks; talents include rescuing girls from falling off the back of a ship, finding perfect spot for a first kiss, and looking great in a tux; Also willing to freeze to death so that girl can have the entire raft all to herself. Did I mention that he has the ability to draw life-like sketches that are able to survive at the bottom of the ocean for over 80 years?
Exhibit C: Twilight
Featuring…
Edward Cullen: Boy from the wrong side of the tracks who also happens to be a gorgeous, chivalrous, vampire; has waited his entire existence for one girl; dedicates the rest of said existence to keeping her safe, practices self-sacrificing restraint daily. Did I mention that he has the ability to stop vans with his bare hands.
I could give more examples, but you get the point. How are the guys supposed to live up to these crazy, romantic standards? Do we really want them to be from the wrong side of the tracks? Do we really want to be rescued all the time? Our standards are impossibly high.
At least, their qualifications for a leading woman are basic: Must have boobs and be able to show them.
And even though my boobs may not be as big or perky as those sleazy, “wild” girls, I don’t think it really matters much to my husband.
So, this weekend, after seeing Twilight, don’t forget to cut your guys some slack. I’m not saying to go out and buy a Girls Gone Wild video or flash him at the movie theater*-oh my gosh, NO!! Just remember to be thankful to them for having such low standards.
*Flashing them at home is completely optional.
This actually brings up a really good question that I’ve been meaning to ask my readers:
What are your thoughts on videos like Girls Gone Wild? Would you mind if your husband/boyfriend went to a strip club without you? How do you feel about your guy watching p0rn?
I’m really interested to hear your thoughts on this topic.
Count Chocula To the Rescue
No sooner did I solve the dilemma of what the kids are going to be for Halloween (a witch and a knight) did we get an invitation in the mail today for an adults-only Halloween costume party.
Ugh.
I really want to go to the party because I’m sure that it will be lots of fun, but I haven’t dressed up in years. Our last couples costume was way back in like 1993 when we went as Mary Ann and Gilligan.
The pressure is on. I have absolutely no clue what we should be. None whatsoever.
All I keep thinking about is that episode of the Brady Bunch where Mike and Carol can’t decide on their couples costume but in the end go as Cleopatra and Marc Antony. I don’t remember but I’m pretty sure that Alice helped them sew these fabulous costumes. Why can’t I have an Alice?
My husband already went online and got some ideas for costumes and this was his top choice:
I’m not kidding. He was seriously hoping that I would love the costume and be fine with us shelling out $75 for this ridiculous spectacle.
Of course I ruled that one out immediately. There is no way he is dressing up as a cereal character. If he goes as Frankenberry, what am I supposed to be? Cocoa Pebbles?
He joked that he could go as Count Chocula since I’m so obsessed with vampires lately.
Jackpot! My husband MUST dress up as Edward Cullen.
I started thinking about the possibilities, and I’ll be honest with you, I couldn’t help but be excited about the prospect of the fun we would have after the party was over. Unfortunately, my bubble was burst when I saw the price of the amber colored contacts.
$115.99 - Say what!!??!!
So, we are back at square one. I’m taking ideas-Twilight themed or otherwise. Leave me a comment with your couples costume suggestions.
What is the best adult costume you’ve seen or worn? Will you dress up this year?
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