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Do Something
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Just For Fun
Enter Monthly to WinWe’re Off
So far so good. No one else got the stomach bug. We are just about packed and ready to go.
The house is cleaner than it has been in months. Does anyone else clean pre-vacation? Why do I feel the need to do that every time we go away?
As I was packing I snapped a pic of our passports because they always crack me up. For some reason, we both look like we weigh 400 pounds in the pictures:
Every time I look at them it reminds me of that Notorious B.I.G. (R.I.P.) song “Mo Money Mo Problems”. I’m not sure why, but it just does. So I thought I’d leave on that note:
Actually one more song because the previous song always makes me wonder whatever happened to Mase? Does anyone know? Here’s one more song for old time’s sake:
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I won’t be posting while I’m gone. I had plans to do a few things and have them auto-post but I just never got around to it. So I’ll just see you in a few days for Friday for Eye Candy.
Have a great week!
My Christmas Home Tour
When I saw Boomama was doing a Christmas Tour of Homes and Thrifty Decor Chick was doing her O’ Christmas Tree Party, I thought it might be fun to participate.
So once you finish up here, don’t forget to stop by and see the other homes and trees on parade:
Let’s get started outside.
I took this picture last weekend when it was snowing. I hope you appreciate the fact that I stood outside in the freezing weather to get a more “seasonal” picture.
Brrr…it is cold. That’s enough of that. Let’s go inside to warm up.
As you come up to the front door (that really needs to be painted) Mr. Snowman welcomes you!
We decorate, but we keep things pretty simple. I can only take so much decking before I feel overwhelmed by the clutter and want to run from the house screaming.
Here’s the infamous over-priced Christmas tree (looking a bit droopy because I may have forgotten to water it–oops):
We let the kids put most of the ornaments up (because we are lazy) so most are low and there are a lot of clusters and gaps. Oh well, it really doesn’t matter. Christmas is supposed to be about the kids anyway, right? (i.e. We’re too lazy to fix it).
Our tree is a mix of ornaments that we’ve collected over the years. I thought I’d highlight a few of my favorites:
We bought this one when we were in Disney World last December. I’d love to be there right now (or anywhere warm really), but I’ll just settle for looking at Santa Mickey hanging on my tree.
While we are on the subject of Disney, here is the Tinkerbell ornament that we made a few years ago. It was a surprisingly easy craft project. We try to make a new ornament each year as a family and give some out as gifts:
Some other favorites include the ones my kids made for me in school:
And this this one made by one of my best friends:
I just love snowmen and I love that every time I pull it out I am reminded of our friendship.
Here is one of my favorite random ornaments:
This one cracks me up because we have an orange (boy) cat who is a cross-dresser. Yes, it is true. We often find him up in my daughter’s room with a feather boa wrapped around his body. Don’t believe me? Here’s the proof:
Alright, back to the tree.
When we decorated the tree this year, I was in a grouchy mood because my husband had done one too many things that day to annoy me so I put our “First Christmas” ornament all the way toward the back of the tree toward the bottom. I’m feeling a little guilty about that now, so I guess I should be nice and move it to a more prominent position on the tree:
Speaking of my husband, here is a little tea set that my aunt bought us that I’ve always loved putting out:
Yes, we are a “Brad and Jen” which of course used to be cool before stupid Angelina went and ruined everything.
Moving right along…here is where we keep our Christmas cards:
And last, but most definitely not least, here is our Nativity:
You may have noticed that there is no baby Jesus in the manger. We wait until Christmas morning to put him out. We’ve been doing this for a couple of years now and I think it is a really nice tradition. Now that the kids are old enough, we are planning to hide him the night before and have the kids pretend to be Wisemen and look all over the house for him. Not only does this reinforce the real meaning of Christmas, but it also gives us a little extra time to sleep in.
Now, I hope you’ll stay for a snack. I made a Chocolate Chip Cheese Ball especially for all my bloggy friends.
(That’s a lie-I made it for our neighborhood Christmas party last weekend and took a picture of it. Everyone seemed to like it, but really I have no idea if they were just saying it to be nice or if they actually thought it was good. I had way too much wine to know the difference. Either way, it was really easy to make so I thought I’d share the recipe.) Enjoy!
Click here for the recipe.
Thanks for stopping by. I hope you enjoyed the tour. If you like touring homes, make sure you swing by Boomama’s and Thrifty Decor Chick’s place.
In Defense of Team Jacob
Warning: There may be spoilers about Twilight in this post. If you have not read the books and are planning to read them, you may want to skip this post.
When I first saw the Team Jacob signs, t-shirts and such I was like WHAT??!! I didn’t get it. How could anyone be Team Jacob? Did they not read Twilight? Do they not realize how perfect Edward is for Bella? How perfect Edward is period?Then I read Eclipse. I get it now.
I finished book three of the Twilight saga yesterday. I’m still thinking about it today.
The thing is that I had a Jacob Black. He was mainly a friend, but he really meant a lot to me. He still means a lot to me even though we haven’t spoken in almost 10 years.
We dated briefly in 8th grade and then became close friends through high school and most of college. He was the stay up almost all night talking on the phone for hours with friend, the throw stones on the bedroom window friend, the his hug would make everything that is wrong in the world right again friend.
There were attempts at becoming more than friends but it just never worked out. It was mostly my fault. I just always had it in the back of my mind that he would be there forever and we would someday end up together. I saw the wedding, I saw the kids, and I saw our future. Together.
That all changed when I met and fell head over heels in love with my husband, my Edward Cullen.
Let’s just say that my husband was not as “understanding” about the whole friendship thing as Edward was so I pretty much ended all contact with this person after we got married.
There was the whole unfortunate Christmas card incident of 1997 but we don’t want to go there.
Life Lesson: Let’s just say that when you are trying to secretly mail your old friend that your husband despises a Christmas card, it is really important that you actually put the stamp on the card because if not it will be returned to sender and even though your husband never typically gets the mail out of the mailbox, this will be the day that he most definitely will do it and it will be a very awkward situation. That is all I’m going to say about the unfortunate Christmas Card Incident of 1997.
I really don’t know where I’m going with this post other than to say that I get it. I get the whole Jacob Black thing. I get why it was so hard for Bella to end things with him but at the same time it really wasn’t a difficult choice at all. She picked the guy that she knew she couldn’t live without. She picked Edward.
That doesn’t make it easy to say goodbye to that other person even though you know staying in touch would end up hurting everyone involved. It doesn’t make it easy when you read a book, hear a song or see a movie that reminds you of that person that meant so much to you.
And it most definitely doesn’t make it easy when one of your friends decides to add him as a friend on Facebook. Grrrrrr. That is a whole other post, though.
So, fess up. Do you have a Jacob Black? Are you still friends with any of your old boyfriends? How do you feel about being married and having close friendships with someone of the opposite sex?
Oh Christmas Tree
This Saturday we took a drive out to the country to find a place that sold Christmas trees.
Since we were going out that way we decided to stop off at Conowingo Dam (think Hoover but on a much less majestic scale) to see the bald eagles that flock there this time of year.
When we got to the dam we realized that we were totally unprepared. Everyone else there must have been serious bird watchers because they were all decked in their camouflage suits and carried gigantic telescopic lenses.
Meanwhile, we were dressed in normal non-camouflage attire and all we had was a cheap pair of mini-binoculars that the bank gives you for opening up a new checking account.
Even though we were unprepared, we could still see the eagles. They were everywhere!
Here is the picture that I took with my trusty crappy Kodak Easy Share camera:
There had to have been at least 50 of them flying all around. It was pretty amazing to see so many of them in one place
After about fifteen minutes of freezing our butts off, we decided to leave to go to the Christmas tree farm to find our tree.
We were originally thinking that we might cut one down but we’ve been there, done that before and it really isn’t as fun as I had thought it would be. It’s actually kind of depressing, really.
To me, cutting down the tree is almost like going to a farm to pick out the turkey for Thanksgiving and it is up to you to have to snap its neck. Not to sound like a tree-hugging hippy, but I’d much rather just let someone else do the killing part.
Thankfully, the farm we went to had the trees already cut down and ready to buy.
I have to say that I couldn’t help but feel a little “Christmas Magic” at this place. As soon as we parked and got out of the car it started to snow. I don’t know about you but there is nothing better than picking out a tree in the snow. It was just a few flurries, but it still added to the experience.
It was such a quaint place. They had a guy dressed up as Santa helping to tie the trees to people’s cars and cute yellow Labs trotting around the property with bells and antlers (we later found out they were called the “reindogs”).
It was such a festive atmosphere that I was actually starting to really rethink my Christmas grumpiness.
Just when I thought my heart was about to explode from all the Christmas joy, I was brought back to reality when I looked at the price tags of the trees.
$75
$150
$275 (I’m not kidding. Who pays that much for a Christmas tree?!!)
I gave my husband “the look”. The look that meant we needed to leave and we needed to leave right now because there was no way in hell that I was spending that much for a damn Christmas tree.
Before we could make our escape, Santa came up to us and started “Ho, ho, ho-ing” and asking us in his jolliest voice if he could help us find our tree. I didn’t want to let Santa and his rein-dogs down but I also knew that we just couldn’t spend that much.
We told him that we were afraid that the trees were a bit over our price range, so he showed us a few that were not as expensive. Unfortunately they looked almost like the Charlie Brown Christmas tree.
I was about to give up hope when we found one that wasn’t marked and I think Santa cut us a bit of a deal on it. It was still waaayyyy more than I had planned on spending but it was better than some of the other outrageous tree prices.
In the end, it was a good compromise. I felt like I was supporting a local business that was trying to go out of their way to make it such a nice experience.
After posing for a picture with us, Santa told us told us to go inside the little barn and get some homemade cidar and cookies. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day.
We got it decorated today and I’ll post some pictures of it in all its over-priced glory later this week.
I must say that I am really starting to seriously consider investing in a fake (pre-lit) tree.
So, what kind of tree do you have? Real or fake? If real, do you cut it down? And just out of curiousity, which one do you think is better for the environment?
It’s The End of the World As We Know It
And I don’t feel fine. I’m actually feeling a little sad today.
I should be in Philadelphia meeting Edward Cullen (ie Rob Pattinson) at a Hot Topic, but I chickened out once I saw the stampede that occurred in San Francisco a few days ago.
Is it just me or is anyone else a little perplexed at why he is appearing at a MALL?!! It is like Leonardo DiCaprio showing up at Claire’s Boutique in 1998 right before Titanic came out. Nothing good can come out of this.
I still wish I was there, but instead I sit here. Alone. Not meeting Edward Cullen. And that makes me sad.
I’m also starting to think none of my friends’ husbands like me anymore. I’m actually pretty sure they resent me for introducing their wives to Twilight.
On our last double date, I got some pretty dirty looks from my friend’s husband whenever the subject was brought up. In his defense, it was brought up about 20 times 50 times A LOT, but I could still see the steam coming out of his ears from the backseat of the car while we quoted lines from the book and showed each other our goosebumps that we would get just from talking about it. Can you really blame him?
Then, I got a phone call last night from a friend asking me to end an argument that she and her husband were having about the books. He got on the phone and asked me why I told his wife about these books. Then he told me about how she redecorated the house.
I said I was sorry (but I’m really not). I told him to read the books so he could understand, but he refused. My husband refused too. Well, in that case, I really can’t feel too sorry for them.
I just feel like there is so much that husbands/boyfriends can learn from Edward. Actually, Amy did a great post on this. You should read it, print it out and laminate it so your husbands can read it. The odds are pretty good that he will most likely throw it in the trash. They just don’t think they have anything to learn from a fictional teenage vampire in a young adult novel. They can be so stubborn sometimes.
So, in addition to NOT meeting Edward Cullen today, I am also now totally convinced that the dream I had about the apocalypse is really going to happen (minus the Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling part).
Check out this trailer for the movie 2012 (the projected date given by the Mayans for the end of the world):
This is exactly how I pictured it in my mind. Now normally I get cheered up by disaster movies. They always remind me that no matter how bad things are that at least it’s not the end of the world. Plus, they always seem like they have a happy ending. Whether it’s Ben Affleck defeating an asteroid or Will Smith defeating the aliens, it’s all good. I should be happy that this one stars John Cusack, but I don’t think he is going to defeat anything. It actually looks like the world may really end.
That stinks. Now I only have 4 more years to get my house organized. And really what’s the point if the world is going to end anyway.
Lastly, I’m feeling a little down about the new trend in nail color. Gray nails??!!
I’m thinking this is definitely the sign that we are living in end times. Famine, plague, natural disasters, gray nail polish. It all goes together.
What do you think: Yay or Nay to the Gray??
I may pick up a bottle and just try it out. I’ll let you know what I think.
Lastly (wait I think I already said that once, but really this is the last thing), you would think that the fact that it is dreary out today that I would be in a better mood. You know, because it would make me feel like I’m living in Forks, but it just makes me feel worse. This is the perfect weather for lining up in a huge crowd of hysterical screaming girls getting ready to meet Edward Cullen.
I mean, do you really blame me. This beautiful man is only an hour and a half from my house. Why did I let a little stampede stop me from stalking him.
Ugh!
Leave me a comment about anything. Twilight, gray nail polish, the weather in your neck of the woods. It really doesn’t matter. Comments never fail to cheer me up.
Analyze This
I’ve decided that I’m going to start keeping a dream journal. I believe that I have the power to see the future in my dreams so I think this will be very helpful to keep track of them. I won’t post the dreams on the blog because I’m sure most will be too personal or embarrassing to share.
I will, however, share the dream I had last night because it amused me and I believe that there are hidden messages in it that need to be interpreted. I’m just having a hard time figuring out its meaning. I will say that the dream left me with conflicting emotions.
Here is what happened:
- At the start of the dream everyone was preparing for the apocalypse. It seemed as though the oceans were going rise and cover most of the lands, including the US.
- All citizens were warned to take higher ground by migrating to the North Pole. (Not scientifically correct but just stay with me.)
- Instead of packing I went off to my day job, which somehow involved a publicity event with Rachel McAdams taking pictures and signing autographs.
- At the end of the event I followed Rachel outside to ask her for a picture but when I went to look in my bag my camera was missing.
- I asked her about her feelings on the end of the world and what she thought it would be like living hin the North Pole. She said something but I didn’t listen to her answer because I was too distracted by the huge, shiny diamond and wedding band on her ring finger.
- No sooner had I noticed the ring did I hear a familiar voice call down to her from the rooftop restaurant that we were standing beneath. I looked up and saw Ryan smiling at her.
- She looked at me like I had seen something that I shouldn’t have seen. I told her their secret was safe with me and rushed off to go home to tell everyone I knew about what I had seen.
- When I got home everyone was frantically preparing for the big move to the North Pole and couldn’t care less about my McGosling news. Of course, I was no where near ready because I always wait until the last minute to pack for trips.
- I spent the rest of the dream trying to figure out how to fit my cat litter box in the van so my cats would be able to make the trip with us.
What does this dream mean?
A. I’m already stressing about not being ready for Christmas.
B. The world really will come to an end if McGosling doesn’t get married.
C. I’m in need of serious psychological help.
D. All of the above
I Really Shouldn’t Be Blogging Right Now
What I Should Be Doing
I should be helping my husband with the bathroom redo project. Do you remember the one I mentioned wayyyy back in June? Yes, that one. Well, we are FINALLY doing it.
(I haven’t forgotten about the giveaway for the Starbuck’s gift card that I promised someone for helping me pick a shower curtain. I will still be picking a winner. Soon. I promise.)
He just ran out to the store to buy more tape, so I thought I’d jump on here to tell you a few things. I have nothing urgent or pressing to report, just a few random things.
A New Favorite Website
Have you seen the website Rate My Space? I can not even begin to express how much I’m LOVING this site!!
Since I could never afford an interior designer and I have zero decorating talent to speak of, it is so cool to be able to see how other people put together their rooms. These aren’t showrooms, but just regular rooms in regular houses that people are looking for feedback on their finished projects. You can search by room and color. I personally think the idea is brilliant and have spent hours looking through all the rooms (mainly bathrooms) for ideas.
A Bizarre Find
When we took down our medicine cabinet to replace it, we found the strangest diagram inside. I think it is a clue and a map to some sort of buried treasure. What do you think?
That arrow is clearly pointing to a dollar sign, but I can’t figure out where the loot could be hidden and what Black Flag wPod means? My husband thinks I’ve watched the Goonies and National Treasure one too many times.
On the twilight front..
Look what my husband brought home for me the other day earning him bonus points for a very long time:
Every time we went to BJs we would have to make a stop at the book aisle so I could stare at it longingly and drool a little bit at how beautiful the entire set looks all together. I guess he finally felt sorry enough for me.
When I was at the mall the other day I tried to sneak into Hot Topic to check out the Twilight merchandise. Why was I sneaking? Well, for one, I’m 34 years old. I just wanted to get in and get out without being noticed by the goth/emo (which one is it?) teenagers that work there.
Well, no sooner had I made my way to the display of goodies did a sales associate bombard me. Instead of asking me if I needed any help with anything, she runs up to me and demanded to know whose team I was on. Team Edward or Team Jacob? I wanted to crawl inside a hole and die of embarrassment, but I decided to embrace my inner geek and answered her with “Are you serious? Does anyone even say Jacob?” She said that most say Edward, but a few have answered Jacob. She then proceeded to tell me that she was on Team Alice. I wasn’t really sure how to respond to that.
I was tempted to buy this shirt:
It says Team Cullen on the back in case you were wondering. I think I’ll add it to my Christmas list.
If that isn’t dorky enough, I just read that many Borders stores are having an “Are You Ready For Twilight” party on November 15th. They encourage you to come in costume (which I still don’t understand how to pull off) and will have discussion about what fans expect from the movie, as well as games and contests.
A Video You Should Watch If You Like Cats (or even if you don’t):
His legs are just so cute when he slides across the floor!
Speaking of cute..
The winner of the Would You Rather competition for the two princes is….drumroll….Harry!
At last count, Harry was winning 14-9.
If that disturbs you in anyway and you didn’t vote, you can still make your opinion known by leaving a comment here.
And just a few more reasons that he is winning:
Ok, my husband is back and just saw the pictures of Harry and is shaking his head so I guess this means I better go before he takes my Twilight box set back to the store.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!!
Hope
The kids had off of school yesterday, so we decided to take a trip to DC.
When we told the kids of our plans to go to D.C. they immediately began asking if we were going to the National Zoo to see the giant pandas. We always go to the zoo to see the pandas.
I was in the mood for something different. I mean how many times can you watch a big, fat bear stuff his face with bamboo anyway?
We decided to take a panda-free walking tour of the monuments instead. Once they got over their disappointment in not getting to see the pandas, the kids really enjoyed the tour. I highly recommend it if you are ever in the area. Did I mention that it was FREE?!!
The tour ended up at the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. I couldn’t help but think of a few things.
First, I thought of Forrest Gump looking for his Jenny.
Because whenever I visit a city I think of the movies that were filmed there before I think of the actual historical events. That is just how my brain works.
Then my thoughts shifted when I noticed the plaque marking the spot where Dr. Martin Luther King stood and made his famous “I Have a Dream” speech.
I stood there on that very spot, on the eve of our presidential election, and I couldn’t help but become overwhelmed with a feeling that I haven’t had in a very long time.
Hope.
For many years, I have felt that no matter who gets elected that things will stay the same. Politicians will lie to get into office but nothing ever seems to change once they are there. The system just doesn’t seem to work and it always felt pointless to try to believe in something so corrupt.
I’m not sure why, but I really do feel that things can be different this time around.
For whatever reason, I have hope that the right person will be chosen. I have hope that person will finally be able to bring this country together. I have hope that things will change for the better.
Are you feeling hopeful that things can be different this time around? Leave me a comment and let me know that you voted or when you are planning to vote. Was there a certain issue that helped to make up your mind?
Here are a few non-panda pictures from our trip:
Note: This picture was totally posed. My kids never stand like that on their own free will. They were heavily bribed with promises of going to see dinosaur bones at the Smithsonian museum as soon as we take this one last picture.
Did you know that Lincoln grew out his beard because of a letter he received from an 11 year old girl? She told him that he would look more handsome and that wives would encourage their husbands to vote for him (think Ryan Gosling in The Notebook). Of course it worked, and when he won the election, Lincoln invited the very smart girl to his inaugural dinner. This is one of the many interesting little tidbits we learned on our tour.
The WW2 Memorial was my favorite monument on the tour. I don’t think I’ve ever been here before. It is very beautiful in person. This picture does not do it justice.
A turtle just hanging out in the reflecting pool.
I wonder if Sarah Palin knows that those pesky scientists at the Smithsonian are trying to teach our precious children about that crazy little theory of theirs…something about evolution.
Sshhh…let’s keep that our little secret.
(Sorry, I just couldn’t help but throw that in there for Matt Damon.)
Just A Few Things To Share
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post, but I had a few things that I felt like sharing, so here you go.
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My daughter just got her haircut. It is so cute and bouncy that I’m suddenly thinking of abandoning my plan of growing out my hair again and getting it cut into the same style so we can do the whole mother daughter matching thing like Katie and Suri Cruise.
What do you think? Cute or obnoxious?
Is it just me or are the striped outfits a cry for help? What do you think–are they trying to send us a secret message about being prisoners?
The other thing I noticed when I was looking for pictures of Kate (still have trouble calling her that) and Suri is that the girl never walks. Seriously, why do they always carry her? Is that some sort of weird Scientology ritual for toddlers.
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Birthday Wrap-up
This is the last you will hear of my birthday. I have clearly stretched it out as long as humanly possible and now I’m even sick of talking about it. Before I commit to no more birthday talk, I just wanted to do a little summary of a few things I hadn’t yet blogged about.
We finally tried PF Chang’s last week. I think I had really high expectations for this place because of the majestic horses out front. I figured if they took so much time with the outdoor decor that the food would blow me away. Don’t get me wrong- the food wasn’t bad. I guess I just expected something more. Something horse statue worthy.
Did we order the wrong things? We had the lettuce wraps for an appetizer–they were actually my favorite. Then we ordered the Sweet and Sour Shrimp and Chang’s Spicy Chicken for our entrees. Everything was tasty enough but I’m not sure I’d rush back anytime soon.
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist was a bit of a disappointment. I had read that it was the Say Anything of this generation. Ummm….no.
It annoyed me for a few reasons:
- The kids in the movie had no curfew. Do parents in NJ not enforce curfews anymore? Are high school age kids allowed to run around NYC all night nowadays? It wasn’t like it was prom or anything like that. It was just some random Friday night. What gives?
- There is a scene where a drunk girl pukes and then fishes her gum out of the toilet and puts it back in her mouth. If that isn’t gross enough to read about, imagine my reaction watching it on the screen. I apologize for “spoiling” this scene for you, but I thought I’d do my readers a favor and give them fair warning to close their eyes before the puke scene. You’ll know it is coming so consider yourself warned. That was probably the most DISGUSTING thing I’ve ever seen in my entire movie watching life. YUCK!!
There were actually a few other scenes that bothered me but I don’t want to give too much away in case you are planning to see it.
If you saw it, what did you think? Thumbs up or down?
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Check out this package that I received in the mail the other day. It was completely unexpected and such a sweet birthday surprise.
My friend sent me some goodies from my favorite show in the whole, wide world–The Office.
My absolute favorite is the Shrute Beet Farms pencil because that reminds me of Dwight’s cousin Mose. Don’t you just love when Mose is on the show?
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I lied about not mentioning my birthday ever again. I actually will be mentioning it in November when I tell you all about the gift I bought for myself.
I scheduled a massage for myself at the local community college massage therapy center. It was a phenomenal deal so I just couldn’t resist. I haven’t gotten that many professional massages (unless you count those $20 for 20 minute beach fondling massages in Cozumel and Costa Maya-which by the way were heavenly) so I doubt I’d be able to tell the difference anyway.
Speaking of massages, have you seen the latest trend in the art of massage therapy?
People Paying For Massages From A Snake - The funniest videos are a click awayOH HELL NO!! That is the stuff nightmares are made of.
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And finally, here is your weekly dose of Gosling:
If you stalk Ryan like I do, you know that he’s taken up a new hobby/career as a DJ. Well, there haven’t been any photos of him spinning his tunes. Until now.
When asked about his new gig, he said:
“I’m a total amateur. I just try to keep my hands busy. You know what they say about idle hands.”
Even his quotes are sexy. If he needs to keep his hands busy, I can think of a few other ideas.
Friday Fragments: Memo Style
I thought I’d participate in the Friday Fragment meme that I’ve been seeing on various blogs. I’m putting my own spin on it by writing a few important memos._________________________Dear Mish Mash Readers,Thanks to everyone who contributed ideas for couples costumes. If you didn’t leave a comment yet, please go here to tell me what you think that we should wear to the adults only Halloween party. I’d love to hear your ideas.
__________________________Dear Celebrities,
Please stop making stupid websites that really have no other purpose but to make the rest of us feel like we will never be as cool as you. First there was Gwyneth Paltrow and her Goop, and now Matthew McConnaghey has come out with an even more absurd site called JKLivin’. Just stop it already. We know you are beautiful, rich and better than us. You don’t have to rub it in.
_____________________________Dear Lions,
You look kind of silly riding on the back of a horse. You are losing a whole lot of street cred, and it kind of takes away from your whole “king of the jungle” mystique. Just thought I’d let you know. By the way, you may want to consider maiming those in charge of putting you in this embarrassing position.
_______________________________Dear David Beckham,
I’d love to try your new “healthy” fishsticks. Feel free to bring them by tomorrow afternoon for a taste test. You can serve them to me (preferably without a shirt). I’ll be waiting in the bedroom for you. Just a warning, the oven is overdue for a cleaning. Just ignore that or feel free to wipe it down before you leave. Did I mention that shirts are optional?
________________________________Dear Presidential Candidates,
The whole talking to guys named Joe is getting old. First it was Joe Sixpack. Now it’s Joe the Plumber. I suggest that you switch things up a bit and talk to the everyday female. I’ve got the best name for you to use. How about Jen? It’s really popular so you’d reach a ton of potential voters. Trust me, I know this to be true. We’re everywhere. There were like six Jens in every class I took in college. Forget the Joe demographic and reach out to the United Jens of America.
_______________________________
Dear Madonna,
Sorry to hear about your upcoming divorce. In case you didn’t hear, Sean Penn split with his wife too. I’m just putting it out there in case you might be willing to consider it as a potential rebound option. You’ve both matured a lot over the years. You’ve found your Kaballah-ness and he seems to be over the whole bad boy thing. I think this could be a really good thing. Think about it.
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Dear Dust Films,
I think you guys are geniuses. I loved literal Take on Me, but I think you’ve topped yourself with this new Tears For Fears Head over Heels video. Keep up the great work guys!
See more funny videos at Funny or Die_____________________________________
Dear Rob Pattinson (aka Edward Cullen),
Enough is enough with the hair. It is getting to be a bit too much. I want to get lost in your beautiful eyes and dream of all the things that we would do together in a meadow, but I keep getting distracted by that small animal that is perched on your head. Please try to tame those crazy locks before your next photo shoot so I can get back to my fantasy. Thanks.
Yours Truly,
JenP.S. To see more Friday Fragments, stop by Half-Past Kissin’ Time.
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The Challenge
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Credits
