-
Do Something
-
Just For Fun
Enter Monthly to WinThanksgiving Laughs
One of the things I am most thankful for is the random funny things my kids do. Take for example, this very sweet poem my daughter brought home from school:
Isn’t that just darling?
I just saw on the news that not all turkeys go in ovens. President Bush did the traditional “Turkey Pardoning” yesterday in the Rose Garden. The two lucky birds were named “Pumpkin” and “Pecan”.
As I was looking for photos from the event, I came across this one. I think this photo was from 2006 or 2007 but it was too funny not to post:
If you ever wondered to yourself where the pardoned turkeys go after they’ve been pardoned, this classic little gem from The Daily Show that you may or may not have seen explains it all. Enjoy and have a great day!!
13 Really Strange Halloween Costumes For Babies
A few weeks ago, I was singing the praises of Halloween. Now I’m cursing its very existence.
Where did it all go wrong you may be wondering?
Well, I blame my kids. They are ruining Halloween for me. Ruining it, I tell you!
It seems the difficulty with decision-making gene got passed down to them. They can’t seem to make up their minds on what costumes they would like to wear.
First, my daughter thought she wanted to be a panda. She’s been obsessed with pandas ever since she was a baby. We already had the mask and even though I can’t sew, I thought I could figure something out with black sweats and some white felt for the body. Maybe stuff some fabric filler to make her look chubby. I’m not very crafty, but I was excited about the prospect of turning her into a cute panda. Seems easy enough, right?
Wrong.
Out of nowhere, she has changed her mind about the panda costume. For whatever reason, she now wants to be a witch. What?!! Where did that even come from?
If my flip-flopping daughter wasn’t enough to drive me insane, then you have my completely clueless son. The boy seriously has no idea what he wants to be. He never does. Every year, we go through the same routine:
Me: What do you think you might want to be for Halloween?
Him: I don’t know.
Me: How about Mario from Super Mario Brothers? You love that game. That would be a fun costume.
Him: I don’t know, maybe.Me: Since your sister wants to be a witch, what about a wizard? Like Harry Potter.
Him: I don’t know, maybe.Me: What about a mummy. That seems like a fun costume.
Him: I don’t know, maybe.Me: When do you think you are going to decide.
Him: I don’t know.
Me: Grrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!! Well, if you don’t decide soon, I’m going to decide for you and you know what?! If you don’t like it, then that is TOO BAD! Because I’m about to cancel Halloween. Yes, you heard me.(I have about two minutes of patience in me before reaching my breaking point and busting out the ridiculous talk.)
This is totally stressing me out. They have off of school today and come Hell or high water, we will figure out this costume dilemma!!
I miss the baby/toddler days where I could choose a cute costume, stick it on them and call it a night. It was so easy.
Speaking of baby costumes, I stumbled across some really ”unique” costumes ideas. Take a look and feel free to add you own captions for your faves in the comments.
13 Really Strange Halloween Costumes For Babies
1. This is supposed to be a peanut, but I can see how it might be confused with something else starting with the letter “P”.
2. This baby’s face says it all. Gross!
3. What scares me most is the fact that there are actual parents who will dress their kids in these hats:
4. I wonder how many people tried hanging their car-tree babies from the rear-view mirror to get the “money shot”.
5. This kid is going to need a lot of therapy:
6. I think this is actually a great idea. Who needs a Swifter when you’ve got a baby mop?
7. I can’t decide if these next ones are really cute or really disturbing. You decide.
8. I like burgers. I like babies. I’m just not sure I like baby burgers.
9. How about a loaf of baby?
10. Let’s just skip Halloween and get right to Thanksgiving.
11. Is this next one even a costume?
12. Here we have two costumes that are just gross and have no redeeming cuteness to them whatsoever:
13. I’m a huge Twilight fan, but I even have to draw the line at vampire babies.
Speaking of Twilight, supposedly they are releasing a new trailer today. I’ll post it when I find it.
What are your kids going to be for Halloween? Which strange baby costume is your favorite?
To see more Thursday Thirteen, go here.
Matt Damon’s Worst Nightmare
Remember a few weeks ago when Matt Damon voiced his concerns about Sarah Palin? He said her nomination for vice president was like “a really bad Disney movie.”
Well, someone took the bait and made this video. I think even Palin supporters will be able to see the humor in this. It is pretty funny, but it would have been so much better with Tina Fey in the Palin role.
Enjoy:
Thanks to Jen for passing this little gem along to me.
Spam is Funny
One of my favorite things about having a blog is reading the comments people leave me. I read each comment that comes in and look forward to seeing what you have to say about my posts. Luckily, I’ve only gotten one really negative comment and it was from someone who was defending Fergie and misspelled the word “the”. I’m not kidding. How do you misspell that word?
When I go into my dashboard and see that I have a bunch of new comments, I get so excited. Then I click the comments page and realize that most of them are just a bunch of spam. No, I do not want to enlarge my penis or need any stock tips.
I have tried but haven’t been able to figure out how to get my spam blocker program to work. I swear Wordpress hates me. Or is evil. I can’t decide.
Anyway, I have to go through each and every comment because I wouldn’t want to delete it just because I saw some naughty words. You never know. It could be Ryan Gosling sending me a really juicy love note, or better yet, an invitation to his wedding (It could happen).
Most of the time I can tell that it isn’t Ryan because the name of the commenter is some gibberish like otiflz or a pqfpwu or bzwaolbqpmql. Why do spammers have such odd names?
One day when I was feeling extra lonely for new comments, I decided to actually read over one of the spam emails just to see what they were trying to sell me. I’m so glad I did this because I came across one that was actually quite humorous.
The spammer was kind enough to send me a list of Top Internet Searches for P0rn (I am spelling it with a #0 instead of a “o” because I don’t want any perverts unwanted visitors coming to my blog for p0rn.)
Just in case you were wondering, here are some of the really odd things people search for:
p0rn with Puff the Magic Dragon (This is just wrong on so many levels. What’s next? Barney?)
New Zealand p0rn (Wow! This is so geographically specific. Why not New Mexico?)
dvd p0rn sale ( This person must be on a budget.)
peach p0rn galleries (What’s wrong with the apple or the pear? )
Bette Midler p0rn (Did you know she made those kind of movies? )
Disney fake p0rn ( I prefer the real stuff myself. )
Wonder Woman cartoon p0rn ( Enough with the cartoons. )
pregnant maid p0rn ( Why does the maid have to be pregnant? I just don’t understand this. )
natural hairy women p0rn ( Can you be unnaturally hairy? )
panda free p0rn ( Yes, I prefer my p0r n without pandas too. )
p0rn notebook ( Now we’re talking. )
secret indian p0rn ( That sounds intriguing. )
Keira Nightly p0rn ( I think you need to spell her name right first. )
band geek p0rn ( Why? )
Croc Hunter p0rn ( Let the poor guy rest in peace. )
would women date a p0rn star ( My answer–No!!! )
world’s longest nipples p0rn ( I’m not making this stuff up. I wish I was but I’m not.)
free colin farrell p0rn download (Here’s one for you, Meg.)
free minute p0rn movies (I guess this person was in a hurry.)
mailing p0rn to Texas ( Does he have a p0rn penpal there? )
There were many more on the list. It was long (and very disgusting for the most part). Two things I learned from this post:
1. We live amongst freaks, I tell you. Freaks.
2. Spam is funny if you take the time to really read it.
That’s How We Roll
We took yet another trip this weekend. Before I share a few pictures from this getaway, I’d like to let you in on a little secret.
On the outside this may look like a child size rolling suitcase:
Up until a few days ago this Teletubbies (whatever happened to those freaks anyway?) bag acted as something much more important.
If you guessed pillow carrier, you’d be wrong.
Allow me to introduce you to our Hooptie, otherwise known as the laptop case:
This stylish, ultra-padded carrier transported our laptop safely through two trips to the beach, one trip to Virginia and a weekend at the lake.
I guess other people didn’t appreciate or see the ingenuity of our Hooptie Carrier, because lo and behold, this much more boring sleek and compact laptop case made its way into our lives a few days ago via a freebie from my friend’s husband’s work.
While I’m appreciative of any gift that I receive, I have to admit that I will miss the Hooptie.
We had a good ride, but our time together has sadly come to an end. I’ll always remember the good times and all the laughs I had every time I used you. RIP Hooptee, RIP.
Now, here are a few pictures from our trip to the beach this weekend taken with my very fancy cheap Kodak Easy Share camera, so don’t expect too much greatness in the way of the photography:
This one is a shot I got of my eight year old son body surfing. He has really gotten into it this summer. I like watching him but get a little freaked out when he gets completely engulfed by a wave like this one:
It wouldn’t be a vacation post on my blog without some damn birds. Here is a seagull and what I thought were her babies. I was later told that the little ones were actually just sandpiper birds and not her babies. This fact makes the picture much less cute, but I’m still showing it. Just pretend that they are babies.
We discovered a little beach bar that does 2 for 1 drinks at Happy Hour. I couldn’t resist taking this picture. Yes, I photograph my alcoholic beverages. Do you have a problem with that?
How was your weekend? What did you do?
A Whole Lot of Random
This post is really going to live up to my blog name of mish mash. I just have all these random thoughts floating around in my head that aren’t really worthy of an entire post, so I’m throwing them all together here. Please don’t look for any purpose or cohesive theme, because you will find none.
__________________________
I was unloading the dishwasher when my daughter walked through the kitchen. She slipped on a little bit of the water that had dripped off a bowl I had just taken out. After she regained her composure, she looks at me with a flabberghasted expression and sighed loudly.
Then she proceeds to say to me in her most agitated voice, “Mom, you really need write up a wet floor sign and post it when you have the time.”
I don’t know why but this just struck me as funny. I guess I pictured myself getting out the markers and construction paper and drawing that funny looking guy in the triangle. Sure, I’ll pencil it in right after folding the laundry, cooking dinner and the myriad of other endless tasks I have on my to-do list.
_______________________________________________________
You know I didn’t really think that much of the Miley Cyrus bare back pictures when everyone was making such a fuss about them. Yes, they were a bit unnecessarily sexy for her age, but nothing too shocking. At the time, everyone was blaming the photographer for taking advantage of a young, innocent girl.
Well, I wonder if people are still singing the same tune after seeing the latest provocative pictures .(Note: Not the one to the right. I refuse to post such filth on my blog. The only wet t-shirt pictures that you will see here will be of guys on Friday Eye Candy–never, ever Disney teen stars turned tramps. Why? Because it is my blog and I make all the rules, so there!)
We always hear how mortified and shocked she is when her private photos are hacked and making their rounds online, but I just can’t feel that sorry for her. Stop taking them or if you did it in the past and are regretful, then just DELETE all traces of them. I mean I’m almost wondering if this is some sort of crazy publicity stunt. If so, HELLO?? Did you not see what happened to Britney Spears??!! Taking your clothes off is not the answer, Miley. Show some class and cover up.
—————————————————————–
Last night for dinner we had pork chops, beans, noodles and apple sauce. I love this meal for one main reason. I get to tell my kids and husband that we are having “Pork Chopppss and Aaaaple shauce (in my best Peter Brady/Bogart voice).
It was the highlight of my day if that tells you anything.
_______________________________________________
Do you think it is really possible to be possessed by a demon? I found myself wondering this yesterday a few times after watching my son and his hellish behavior. I think we need to move on from time outs to getting a priest over here to do an exorcism if things don’t improve. (I was going to post a picture of that girl from The Exorcist, but she is surprisingly scary if you actually look at her closely. I thought I’d spare you the trauma.)
____________________________________________________
Did anyone see the homerun derby? Grady Sizemore and Chase Utley were in it and looking fine. Very fine, indeed. They didn’t win though. :(
While we are on the subject of my cute baseball player list, I got a few comments that the Nick Markakis picture I posted really didn’t do him justice. Natalie (no link/no website) was kind enough to email me a few more to share with you. There were many but I think this was my favorite:
____________________________________________________
My Tivo didn’t record Big Brother for us on Sunday when we were at the concert. We forgot to set it to record the new season but were hoping that it would be smart enough to know that we always watch Big Brother.Either Tivo isn’t as smart as I give Him credit to be or else He is trying to send me a message that I shouldn’t bother with it this year.
Every summer since it first premiered we have wasted countless hours on this completely mind-numbing and useless show. Sure, it has provided a few entertaining moments (especially the seasons with Dr. Will Kirby) but for the most part I think I’m outgrowing this midsummer tradition.
Did anyone watch on Sunday? Should I tune in or should I leave my fate in the hands of the almighty Tivo?
____________________________________________
Speaking of wasting time on things, I don’t have a lot of praise for The Thirteenth Tale. It got a lot of great reviews, but I just couldn’t seem to get into the story or the characters. The story had a lot to do with twins and the “twin bond”. Since I’m not a twin I just felt like I couldn’t get the connection the author kept referring to over and over and over again.
I only continued to push through because my book club loved it so much. Well, now I’m not only annoyed with the book, but also my book club for recommending it so highly.
This book has been compared to Jane Eyre and it was mentioned many times in the book, so my book club thought we should read this one next. I’m currently on page 80 and already enjoying it far more than The Thirteenth Tale, so I am hopeful that it will be a better read. I’m guessing it will be since it is a classic and all, but now I’m skeptical.
Has anyone read either of these books? What did you think of them?
________________________________________
Speaking of twins, what do you think of the names that Brangelina (that was for you Non-Soccer Mom) gave to their new twins?Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline
I still haven’t made up my mind about them. What’s a Knox? Why must celebrity parents give their children such odd names. I think Angelina has a thing with the letter “x”. First Maddox, then Pax and now Knox. I just see that getting confusing since they all kind of sound the same.
I don’t know about you but I just can’t wait to see the whole brood trying to get from here to there. I know there will be nannies and bodyguards and arms full of babies. It will be such a fun spectacle to see!
That’s it for now. Was that enough random for you for one day? Do you believe I went a whole post without mentioning Ryan Gosling? Oops, I guess I didn’t really. Oh well.
Make Me Laugh Monday: Computer Funny
You know the little pop-up paper clip guy that interrupts you whenever you try to do a task in Word. I really wish he would just go away. Someone needs to teach this guy a lesson in manners or tell him to MIND HIS OWN BUSINESS!! The guy thinks he’s an expert in everything.
I found this funny little picture of the ultimate “Clippie” interruption:
For the record, I don’t condone suicide or think it is funny. Making fun of “Clippie” is completely ok, though.
To see more funnies, go over to Absolutely Bananas.
Banned Outpost Commercials
Since I’m too busy this holiday weekend to make a thoughtful post (would you really consider any of my posts thoughtful? Please don’t answer that.) I thought I’d share a funny video I first saw over at Barking Mad . These banned commercials cracked me up so much that I knew that I had to put them on my blog. There are 3 commercials, but the second and third are the funniest, so don’t be too disturbed by the first one (Note-I’m sure no animals were harmed in the making of these commercials-at least I hope not).
Make Me Laugh Monday–Prank Calls
Back in the day before caller ID (yes, there was a time that you actually had to answer your phone to know who it was), making prank calls was like a teenage rite of passage. My friends and I would spend hours doing this and it was great fun. We were rebels, I tell you.Our pranks were pretty lame. We would look up a Michael Brady in the phone book, call the house and ask if we could speak to Jan or Greg. Then when they said we had the wrong number we would ask for Mike Brady and say we were looking to speak to any one of his kids in the bunch. Oh, those were good times.
For this week’s Make me Laugh Monday, I found a couple of examples of really good prank calls. Hopefully at least one is new to you.
***You may want to watch these without kids in the room, as there is some mild language and adult content.***
For more laughs, head on over to Absolutely Bananas.
It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
My best friend just sent me pictures of her new tattoo. This is her second one. I thought she had learned her lesson after what happened with her first one. Her first tattoo was a cute little smiley face right next to her belly button. It looked something like this:
We were in college and it all seemed like such a great idea. I was even a tad bit jealous of her for having the guts to do it, but then things took a turn for the worse. After poppin’ out three kids and being blessed with the gift of stretch marks, the once adorable smiley face has turned into something more like this:
That is why I was more than a little shocked to find out that she got another one. This time she got smart and put it on her lower back where there will most likely be no stretching going on. Hopefully.
Again, I started to feel a little jealous of her coolness. I know what you’re thinking. I could easily get myself one if I wanted, but that just isn’t me. I’m not “that girl”. I accept it. So, I’ll just go on being boring ole me and leave the ink to the cool kids.
To make myself feel better I went searching for some pictures of tattoos that seemed like a good idea at the time, but now, not so much. Let me just tell you-there were tons of great examples. Enjoy!
So wrong. So very, very wrong. I also love the look on the guy’s face behind Mr. Cool Ice. You can just read his mind.
One of the reasons I don’t want to get a tattoo is that I have no idea what design to get. I really don’t have anything that I feel that passionate about. I guess the Hamburglar must hold a special place in this dude’s heart.
Hulk Hogan? Really? I would have went with Jake the Snake Roberts.
I think I might ask this guy to come scare my kids into behaving better. Do you think it would work?
This poor dead girl deserves better than this. What a shame.
I was contemplating getting NKOTB on my arm, but reconsidered after they put out that Merry, Merry Christmas album.
Just in case he forgets the name of that great new website his friend told him about:
Oh and there were more, so many more, but many included private parts and this isn’t that kind of site. So, you’ll have to just look for them yourself if you are into that kind of thing. If you aren’t sure where to start your search, I know just the guy to ask.
-
The Challenge
-
-
Credits
