My Apology to Britney Spears
Dear Britney Spears,
I believe that I owe you an apology. Actually it is long overdue, but now that I have a blog I thought I’d put it out there in case you happen to read it.
First, a confession. Over the years, I have wished many terrible things upon you. Nothing to cause you any physical harm because I am not that evil (well actually maybe just once or twice when I was in a really bad mood, but let’s not go there). Anyway, I did have these thoughts toward you that I’m not proud of.
You came onto the scene wearing this outfit and made my very much grown man of a husband (then my boyfriend) lust after your 16 year old self. For that, I immediately hated you.
At the same time, I was also a teacher in a Catholic elementary school classroom. Let me tell you, seeing those sweet, innocent ten year old girls worship and emulate your trashy behavior was heart-breaking to say the least.
As you got more and more famous, you started dressing less and less. Of course you looked great and I wished that my body was as hot as yours, but I was too busy making babies, birthing babies and nursing babies to be able to compete with your toned abs and perky boobs.
You continued to take your sleaziness to another level with this:
And who can forget this:
Well, you get my point.
My hatred was in full force when I watched your show Chaotic. Now, I know what you are thinking. If I disliked you so much then why did I watch it? Well, that show had trainwreck written all over it and I couldn’t help it–I had to see it all unfold.
And you did not disappoint. It turns out you aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Oh that made my year. I wished there would be more of this absurdity.
I felt like I hit the jackpot when you got married, had some babies and started acting really stupid.
First there was this:
Then this:
Then you went totally nuts showing your girly parts to all the world and shaving off all your hair.
You finally reached your breaking point with this little incident:
And you know what? I stopped hating you. I began to truly feel sorry for you.
So, I offer this letter to you as my apology for wishing any of these terrible things on you. I believe in the power of The Secret and I hope that none of my negativity toward you caused your breakdown.
I really do hope you get your act together and make a real comeback. I just beg of you to please try to be a little more classy. For example, see last year’s comeback attempt.
Yeah, that wasn’t good. Do the opposite of that. Show a little less skin and just perform. Is that so much to ask for?
Good luck at this year’s VMAs. I really do hope it goes better for you.
Sincerely,
Jen
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21 Responses to “My Apology to Britney Spears”
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I hated her too, for the same reasons, and felt a tad responsible when she went psycho. I truly hope she gets her come back this time. In a way, now it’s about proving that you can be a mother and sexy at the same time, and I’m all for that.
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well done, i agree. (still) rooting for a comeback.
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Yeah, in a weird (selfish) way, it was kinda neat to watch her self-destruct. I guess it made her appear not quite so perfect.
Is she performing at this weekend’s VMA’s? After all the awful things that have happened to her this year (granted, most were self-inflicted) I am really rooting for Britney’s comeback.
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Wrong again Jen! I love me some Britney train wrecks. They make me feel better, ABOUT ME. I can’t wait for the day she loses her teeth, and turns in that Starbuck’s cup for a big jug of moonshine with the XXX engraved on the side. That’s going to be an awesome!
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i so, completely agree with you. I was so bitter towards her because she was just tawdry and classless. Then she seemed to go a little crazy and I felt genuinely bad for her.
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Now that she’s all cleaned up and acting some-what normal these days…I’m bored. No more train wreck Britney makes for a bored me.
I am pure evil.
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I just continue to feel terrible for her poor kids. I hope somehow by God’s grace they have a chance at being normal and not crazy. I’m glad Brit is attempting to turn her life around but yeah… what a train wreck.
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I know what you mean…can you imagine how her mother feels? I feel sorry for all of them…and then there’s the younger sister with the new baby.
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She is a mess… glad to see that she is making a comeback- I will be expecting a huge show!
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I love that Britney’s mum was writing a parenting book but decided not to publish when Jamie got pregnant aged 16. Surely that was just the icing on the cake.
Feel so bad for Britney though she has bought so much of it on herself.
Here’s hoping this years VMA’s aren’t so cringeworthy to watch. Last year was beyond awful.
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You knew that it was getting bad when K-Fed started looking all responsible and normal.
I never really got the whole Britney phenomena though. Personally I don’t think she’s all that talented, unless by talented you mean “TALENTED” in the way that my husband and his buddies say it. She’s got plenty of that kind of talent. Her voice drives me bonkers.
I fully admit to being sucked into watching her self-destruction though. I do feel for the poor girl. She obviously needed some serious help. It’s just a shame that her parents were able to get away with using her the way they did for so long.
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This is friggin’ hilarious. That last picture of her is pure awesome.
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I always loved Britney. Even when she did go a little cooky. But I’ll accept your apology on her behalf…but only because you’re witty.
Was I the only one who memorized her dance moves?
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So many things to comment on! First, that last picture of her is so bad, it’s one of the times she stumbled and lost her balance during that awful performance. I felt so embarrassed for her. Second, I guess she changed her mind and decided to perform at this years VMAs – YES! There is a new episode of The Hills (I know, pathetic) on before the VMAs and then Britney – sweet! Third, I never really cared for Britney until her song “Toxic” came out. OMG were we obsessed with that song! My sister, cousin and I freaked when that song would come on! And she looked so good then. Fourth, I will never forget her cover on Rolling Stone. God did she look hot. LOVE her hair. The bangs, the color, the waves – gorgeous. Fifth, and lastly, I think most people “enjoy” when a celebrity starts a downward spiral. LL & Britney are two very good examples. I know for me I am a tad jealous and envious of their life, so when they start to crash and burn I can’t help but enjoy watching everything unravel. It’s sad, but like other people said, it then makes me feel good about my life.
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Are the VMA’s that desperate for ratings that they need her to perform? I’m guessing so. The only reason people watch is for another hopeful train wreck. train wrecks + VMAS = profits
Does she even have anything new out to even perform with?
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It’s always been a love-hate thing for me towards Britney..I was ok with her without the thrasy clothes on…but man..after she started just going round with half of her clothes torn, I stopped…
But yes, it’s sad to see what’s happened to her in the last two years…I can’t help but just feel for her..and my heart truly went out to her and her boys when she was strapped in the gurney, being rolled of to the hospital earlier this year..oh Britney…I mean, she’s older than me by a few years and it’s hard to see her go through it and know that what she’s doing is making it worst. Hopefully she’s much better now.
And the VMAs was just..ouch. Painful.
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Sadly, I am not a fan.
Never have been.
I haven’t been interested to even keep up with her.
However…I will be watching the VMA’s to see her performance.
Last years was so entertaining…not sure how she could top THAT!
Or get any more press coverage.
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I feel the same way, only we’re the same age. I never liked her at the beginning. She was just showing off. Now I feel bad for her, and for her kids. And I hope she gets her act together and becomes a better person through all of this!
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Her parents, the media, her upbringing… it all makes for what my husband and I like to call a “train wreck.” Pure and simple. So nice of you to apologize though… ; )
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ok so I didn’t realize how much i liked britney’s performances until i show a recap show of all the times she was on VMA’s and award shows (except that last fiasco). Anyway, i realized i have a slight britney crush (old britney, not trainwreck britney) . Her body was awesome and i can’t wait to see if she performs on vma’s tonight… and if so, will it be a train wreck or an awesome show like old britney . we shall see!! i want her old body, her abs are awesome. hopefully she is back in shape now, wish her luck !!!
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